"Daddy" is my SD's only friend---what is going on and how can I help her?
What do you do when your SD's only friend is your husband? She is in junior high now, so I thought by this time she would start to make some friends. I feel sorry for her and I am starting to get annoyed how clingy she is to my husband honestly. I always ask her if she wants to have friends over, but she doesn't seem interested at all.
The other day she texted DH a picture of her feet to show him her nail polish job----weird. When I was growing up my dad was my dad and not my friend, so this is all very puzzling and new to me, but of course it was a different dynamic as my parents were not divorced. I wonder if there is a way I come help both her and myself in this situation.
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I'm with Missstress on this
I'm with Missstress on this one. My SS (now 10) had HUGE issues making friends when I met him at age 6...he was undiagnosed PDD-NOS which left him unfocused, he did not understand personal space & he screamed like a hyena banshee...on top of that, his speech was horrendous & he was happy "dishing it out" ah la boy style but would cry like a pansy if any of the kids responded in kind. He TRIED to make friends but the other kids wanted nothing to do with him because of his behavior.
Have you seen how your SD is around other children? I brought my nephews (who are the same ages as SS) over so that I could observe REAL kids in action, my SS included. After having witnessed where SS was having issues with other kids, I was able to talk SO into having him tested. We got him into therapy (occupational & play) & learned what we needed to work on at home.
4 years later, he still has his ticks & difficulties harnessing his focus, but he has learned (through HARD work on all of our parts) the importance of personal space, how to react without screaming, how to maintain his focus & how to respect others & what they do and do not want to do. He has also learned many other things but the kid can keep friends now...he's happier & more well-rounded.
Do you have nieces or kids of friends that you could "set her up with" so that you can see her in action? That might be your only way of seeing what is actually going on with her. At 7, she should be WANTING friends!
Sounds like my SD14 when she
Sounds like my SD14 when she was 12. Mini wife syndrome. She was super clingy, needy, immature, whiny and DH was her only savior. Then again, he babied the living shit outta her too.
We'd have to force her to go away from the adults and hang with kids her age at gatherings and outings. She wanted to hold dear daddy's hand constantly and clung to him like a lifeline. She was extremely needy.
We would try and get her out of her comfort zone and eventually, after being very consistent, she started to expand and grow a bit. Maturity is still not on par for her age, plus she's been held back a year in school so is with the younger kids in junior high when she should be in high school. Hell, they still have RECESS!!!
The "real world" is going to be nothing shy of a major shock to this kid. BM encourages her to be dependent and needy, so BM has something to feel confident about. She still babies her.
I think most of the problem
I think most of the problem is maybe that SD has always had everything done for her, including setting up play dates, and DH has always entertained her. When we go to other people's houses, rather than go play with the other kids, SD follows me around like a shadow, and it drives me absolutely crazy! One time my sister was visiting, it was late at night, and there was SD, sitting there staring at us while we were talking. My husband had gone to bed already, so I told SD, "It's time for you to go to bed." She stomped off, and later complained to DH about me. When there is other kids around I have to tell her several times to go play with the other kids before she finally does huffing and puffing. So I really don't know if she is shy, or she is just lazy and wants everyone thing done for her (including making friends) SHe honestly is the most lazy child I know so I suspect the latter. I believe though that she also has mini wife syndrome. It drives me crazy, but I am starting to put my foot down more, as I am past the point of caring if she likes me or not. I have told my husband several times that SD needs a father not a friend, and he agrees, although I suspect he secretly likes that he is the absolute center of her universe, esp when she is at an age where children are often embarrassed of their parents.
We have the exact same issue
We have the exact same issue with SS15. He claims to have friends, yet never hangs out with them. He is always underfoot, injecting himself into adult conversations. He has to come with us when visiting our friends. Doesn't go to bed until we do. Doesn't hang out in his room even though he's got a big tv and three different video Game systems. He even follows us outside when we go out to smoke! I rearranged the seating into groups of two, but he'll race me out and take the seat next to his father. The kid is flipping WEIRD!!!