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Frustr8d1's Blog

Full Time SM Duty SUCKS

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I am so damn sick and tired of being a full-time SM, YET....I'm never allowed to provide my input or my opinion on how SD13 should be raised. BM has not seen nor spoken to SD since 2012 so I'm it. When I lay down the law for our BD5, DH completely agrees with me but when it comes to SD, he doesn't want to hear it.

Just had to put this out there so I don't implode...Thanks for listening.

Don't "Real" Moms do Real Things?

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For Full-Time Steps....What do you all do when your skids refer to BM/BF as the real mom, or the real dad?

As a full timer, I KNOW that all my time, money, and pain that I've spent on SD13 has been VERY VERY real, yet SD has a dream of living with her "real" mom who has done nothing other than disappoint and abandon her. In the meantime, BM is living free and happy with zero care for her own kid that she walked away from 7 years ago.

SD's Sudden Interest in Baths?

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SD12--will be 13 next week--has always loved to be filthy dirty. She is most comfortable with clutter, garbage, dust, dirt, etc. During her whole life, DH has had to almost force her to take a bath, wash her hands, or even brush her teeth. Also, she has habitually been late coming home almost every night. Well, suddenly during these past 2 weeks, SD has come home 15-30 min early, walks straight to the bathroom, and is in there for 2-3 hours. I hear bath water running so I'm assuming she's taking a bath but this new habit is highly unusual for SD.

Can't be Coincidence

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So lately I've noticed that on the days DH argues with me...the very next morning, SD12 will leave milk spilled on the table or crumbs & peanut butter on the counters. She will also talk sweetly to DH on those mornings and say "love you daddy," which she never does any other day.

It's almost as if she believes DH and her are on one team and I'm on the other. So when DH yells at me, she takes it as an opportunity to leave a big F.U. for me to wake up to the next morning, as if to score a point for Team DH/SD.

I'm about to go off at this useless DH.

Spending more money on SD for school

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I cannot help but hate the whole back-to-school shopping for SD12. She has lived with us full-time for half her life while BM has done absolutely nothing for her. We have 100% of all bills, medical, dental, time-consuming school activities, etc. So I can't help but hate that DH has to go spend even more money on this kid for new school clothes that she will inevitably just throw on the floor or ruin them completely.

Sleep Talking

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My SD12 has talked in her sleep off and on since the day I met her when she was 4 yrs old. During the first 4 yrs of her life, DH would get phone calls from BM telling him SD has night terrors. We have had full custody of SD for 6 yrs now and we've heard her yelling in her sleep many times. It sounds very scary to me because she yells and argues in her sleep. It sounds like she's in her room having a full fight with another person. It just really creeps me out and then I can't sleep because I already have insomnia!

Another DuH Moment

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Every day after school, SD12 will sit in her room supposedly doing homework for hours. The only time she comes out is for dinner. While we're eating, DH & I try to discuss things that might be relevant or important for SD to learn and discuss with us. But, day after day, she will sit quiet and not say a word or even ask a question. I purposely bring up topics that might stir curiosity and evoke a question. Instead, nothing. Crickets. Oh, but if DH starts discussing SD's homework or chores, SD has plenty to say in resistance.

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