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WWYD, tell DH or let it ride?

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So in January DH messaged BM to see if she could take SS13 to his swim meet that's this weekend. It's from our local club and DH & I sponsored it through our business. She never responded. She has seen the message as DH gets notified when she views them. DH did not register SS13.

On Tuesday we heard a commercial advertising for the swim meet. SS13 pipes up, hey that's for me! I casually say, oh are you entered in that? He says uh I think so, ya. I said, "you should probably talk to your Dad". Because like, I know he's not entered. 

Guess who started to be a parent?

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Both DH and BM are stepping in to fill the void left by 1dad!! 

2 weeks in a row BM didn't bother taking SS13 to swim club, which is how the whole argument-that-caused-disengagement started. Because I showed up with BD6 to watch SS13 swim after her music lesson. When I asked him why he wasn't there he told me to text his Mom, who called me a psycho (the irony) and said I stress SS13 out.

Anyway last week the kids weren't in school so I took the 4 youngest to my Mom's and left SS13 with DH because he had to work and I wasn't taking SS13. 

So how is disengaging going?

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SS13 has been hiding in his room since I disengaged. It made it super easy for me. Then because the kids have school off next week we had a schedule shift so he spent most of the week at BMs and just got back home yesterday.

Well we're going to my mom's on the break and DH has to stay behind to work. I told him I wouldn't be bringing SS13 with me, since that amount of time would require a lot of parenting. 

I am disengaged

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And SS13 didn't even care. 

He didn't react to the messages from his mom where she called me a psycho, and said I was abusive and that I wasn't his parent. He said he didn't think anything of it. 

The only thing he was mildly concerned about was when I said I wasn't going to pay for his swimming anymore so he needed to tell his Mom to start paying her share. 

I guess time will tell. DH made sure to be home from work to take SS13 to his extracurriculars.

An innocent little girl and her birthday

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So my BD6 goes to school with BM's BD6. They are friends. They are not in the same class but they play together at recess and after school (on the playground) sometimes. 

BD6 is set to turn 7 in a few weeks. She's having a party at our house and is inviting BMBD6. We are having the party on a weekend that SS13 will not be with us, which means that BMBD6 will also be with BM, as The StepDad gets access on the same weekends as we do. 


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My life with BM is pretty tame. DH has been paying MEO just enough to keep them off his back (for arrears) but not enough to keep BM happy. She hasn't been bothering to be a parent to SS13 and that's been unfortunate. He's lost quite a bit of weight he says that his Mom doesn't like him to eat all these foods she used to be okay with. We don't keep those foods here plus with puberty, his meds and being generally sick one form or another he has really lost a lot. 

BM won against The StepDad and gets to live the gravy train

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The StepDad's GF sent me a message telling me the judge awarded BM everything she was asking for except backpay. 

A few thousand dollars a month to BM for spousal support, child support and court costs. I'm disengaged from this since putting in my affidavit, but I know she was hurting. I have felt her pain. I could physically feel her losing hope. 

She told me that together they literally don't bring in the amount the judge has ordered to be paid monthly. She has a baby and another little girl. She has no idea what she's going to do.

BD6 switching schools to SS13's

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We're moving into a new school zone. We are about 1.5 blocks from SS13's school. This is his last year in the school. BD6 wants to switch from her school in our current school zone to our soon to be school zone, at the end of the term in a few weeks. 

This would be very convenient for me, for obvious reasons. 

BM forced The StepDad's gf's BD6 into a different classroom than her own BD6 (who is SS13's sister) at the beginning of the school year.