This will never end. Ever.
DH had a session booked for SS10 next week. The counselor asked if BM & DH could have it instead. BM hums and haws and so counselor send them an email today asking if they are keeping it or if SS10 will come or if it needs to be canceled.
DH emails the counselor (BM copied) saying BM won't commit until the counselor receives the letter from the lawyers, but that he can go or take SS10, whatever the counselor thinks is in his best interest.
BM then emails the counselor saying she will book SS10 in a session in a few weeks so he's not missing so much school (but then books it for a time where he has to miss the whole day-and on DH's weekday) and that she will do a session with DH but that she has midterms next week.
So the midterms must've just been discovered since the counselor has been waiting for her to say something for weeks. DH was like 12 hours away from having to pay for the damn session. Whatta bitch.
Anyway BM books SS10 in for a session the following week which she says is also the week she wants to do a session with DH. And coincidentally the week the baby is due and SS10's birthday.
The counselor finally gets the letter from the lawyers at 5pm and is still on the same page as far as transitioning SS10. She is requiring DH and BM agree on terms because SS10 still feels like the decision is up to him. I am sure the counselor knows the reason he feels this is because of BM, and I know the counselor can see that BM is the only one stopping the joint session. DH has literally said, I will do whatever you think is in the best interest of SS10.
DH's lawyer calls me about 2 minutes after the email (DH was still at work) and he hadn't seen it yet. I tell him about it and he says it's a good thing that the counselor is trying to keep things going, but not that BM won't commit. He said that if BM starts blatantly avoiding the joint session then he can get the counselor to write up a plan and that's what they'll take to the pretrial- which is scheduled now for the end of November.
DH's lawyer said the information I've given him for my wage is good, but that we have to also prove DH can't be earning more than he is. The good news is that DH's lawyer has won 2 cases recently for his clients who took lesser paying jobs to have more time or a more dependable schedule with their kids. So since the only place DH could work is in the next city over with a long commute and a 9-5 type job (more realistically a 7-7) it would effectively reverse any progress that has been made. DH's lawyer has stalled BM's lawyer so DH can gather some more evidence that he's earning an appropriate wage. But what a waste of time.
SS10 is here too, and normally I love his weekday visits but I find myself annoyed with him. I'm sure I'm just feeling my frustrations for his Mom. I haven't said much (but I did say a jab about how we don't rotate his bday) but I'm still feeling irritated nonetheless.
DH's lawyer and I had a nice chuckle over how the pretrial is unlikely to result in BM agreeing to anything, and that her lawyer would probably quit again and then she'd have another lawyer for the trial.
Truthfully, I see no end here. DH is so optimistic it's adorable. He keeps saying BM is "gonna have to see, she's gonna have to agree" but he doesn't realize how much she isn't willing to be wrong. How she's gone this long convincing the world and herself that DH doesn't care about SS10. I'm not ready to crush his hopes, it's not worth it. We had a rough recovery after the last pretrial, I'm going to let this one ride out.