Vent about BM
If you've read my blogs we had a c&a assessment done for SS10 with the intention to see if shared parenting was in his best interest. Well the assessment came back saying that it was and with counseling the interviewer recommended we move to a week on week off schedule.
So onto what the assessor wrote BM said during her Interviews.
Apparently we run our house "military style". She seemingly bragged that she doesn't have any discipline and SS10 learns by discussing what went wrong. Like f*CK he does.
I don't know what military style is, but yeah SS10 has chores and a schedule that he uses to complete them before lunch so we can utilize the bulk of the day for family time. Seriously his schedule is make bed, brush teeth, eat, shower and do chores which vary by day but always include cleaning some aspect of his space and reading. He's usually done everything by 9am.
She also claimed that SS10 doesn't get to socialize when he's with us. What the fuck does that mean? We stick him in his room and no one talks to him? How the fuck would she even know what happens during his time here.
The assessor didn't explicitly say that BM coached SS10 prior to his interview, but the wording she used suggested it. Even DH's lawyer picked up on that. SS10 was so traumatized prior to his interview at BM's that he literally refused to do it. He did end up completing one at a different time.
Wegot a rushed email from the assessor telling us how to prepare SS10 for the interview which we found odd because the assessor had previously stated we shouldn't say anything to SS10 beforehand. Once we got the assessment back it was clear. As it was we didn't talk to SS10 about his interview until about 30 minutes prior to it starting. The assessor wrote that SS10 seemed the most comfortable with his interview at our place.
BM also claimed that she offers DH extra time and that she never refuses DH's requests for more access. These are both lies. She hasn't offered more time since before SS10 was in school and BM used to want to go partying. Even her references said she offered DH more time, which is another sign of coaching. We didn't talk to our references about what they were going to say beforehand, that would be dishonest in our opinion and we wanted the assessor to get a good insight. The assessor wrote about how BM's references used the same exact words and phrases to describe BM and her parenting style.
The whole interview from BM had the same pattern. "SS10 has told me he doesn't want to spend more time at his Dad's" "I am well read and creative" "I teach emotional education" "I offer more time but DH never takes it".
She also claims I am the reason she can't co-parent. She thinks DH is letting me text for him, when truthfully DH has started using the BIFF method in his responses and she can't handle that he no longer engages in her constant baits for fights.
Uhg, I'm just so irritated with how she thought portraying us that way would really improve her chances. And how she coached not just SS10 but her references and her husband as well!
So even though the assessor agreed with DH and recommended exactly what DH wants, everytime they reference the stupid assessment in the pretrial or possible trial DH is going to have to defend us against her lies and bullshit.
Vent done for now, but as we all know it's really neverending