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Today's BS- wonder what will happen tomorrow?

1dad4kids's picture

First off, BM was late picking SS10 up today by 30 minutes. That's not usually a big deal for most kids but SS10 paces the house before pick up time if we don't busy him. Luckily, this isn't nearly the first time so we've smartened up and he was downstairs teaching his BD4 how to play a video game. DH texted her when she was 15 minutes late and she texted back that her garage door wouldn't open and she was waiting for her DH to come fix it. We live literally 3 blocks away. Not even exaggerating it takes the exact same amount of time to drive as it does to walk. Sometimes walking is quicker, if I'm doing pick up cause DH isn't home I almost always walk so i don't have to load the bios in the car, just BS1 into the stroller easy peasy. So it was weird that she didn't just walk. The second thing that was weird was that instead of waiting for her DH to come fix the door, why didn't she ask him to pick up SS10 on his way home? 

I'm fairly certain the door was fine and BM just slept in. But we're early risers in this house and she knows that so she would never admit to sleeping in. Or maybe it was another BM trick to make SS10 have more anxiety about transitioning between homes. Who knows. 

Shortly after she picks him up, DH gets an email from the lawyer saying BM is taking DH to court for sure. She wants more child support. She's intending to impute income on DH that is thousands and thousands of dollars more than he's ever made. Good luck BM! DH's lawyer also said that BM's lawyer said her DH's income has been reduced so that's why she wants more child support. I played the world's smallest violin. 

The email also says that a pretrial is months away. Well f*CK. SS10 is already in his counseling sessions with just 3 left to go to fulfill the C&A agreement. DH already booked his next one with SS10. So if the pretrial doesn't happen soon, SS10 will be prepared and then he will have to wait and wait before he can actually utilize the coping skills or whatever he's getting from these sessions. DH asked the lawyer if we should have another go at an interim application. Although DH is also delusional in that he thinks BM is just going to let week on, week off happen after the fourth counseling session. I said, maybe you should file for the interim... Just in case. Despite everything he still believes BM will cooperate. 

After that email DH receives an email from BM about SS10'S swimming. Which she can't afford without DH's payment, and DH isn't paying without balancing out the overpayment first. But that's besides the point, the email was really about a schedule. Starting on Tuesday, SS10 will be swimming 4 days a week. After October it will be 5 days a week, both days on the weekend, mid morning. 

SS10 is going to hate this. That means no more going away for the weekends, no more lazy mornings. No breaks in the evenings except two days a week (and until we get week on week off, one of those days is with us) and just no more time for himself. He will literally go to school then eat supper then swim then go to bed and repeat. Fortunately he doesn't have many friends so at least it's not cutting into his social life. 

TGIF am I right? I'm still waiting for the freak out when she finds out I told SS10 that the counselor wasn't for deciding where he lives. Or if SS10 doesn't tell (unlikely but sometimes he doesn't because he doesn't want his Mom to know he knows she lied) what her flip out will be after her meeting with the counselor and she learns DH gave her a copy of the C&A agreement lol. 


tog redux's picture

Yep, all sounds familiar. Stall, delay, interfere, keep SS away from DH as much as possible. 

Have to ask, why on Earth can't this kid just walk between his two homes? 

1dad4kids's picture

He can! Ha ha. He totally, 100% can. BM insists on picking him up, so we took advantage of the extra time.

Picardy III's picture

That was my first thought too - he could just walk. But maybe independent mobility opens the floodgates to more BM games? Stop at my house on Dad's days / Just run over for a few minutes, I miss you / etc.

1dad4kids's picture

I'm certain she's worried that he'll try to come see us more, not as an opportunity for him to go to her place more. 

1dad4kids's picture

Well, something is up. DH just got BCC'd in an email from his lawyer and it looks like BM is no longer satisfied with the counselor, or something. My guess is that SS10 told her he knows the counselor isn't there to decide the parenting arrangement. The bad news is that a conference pretrial is scheduled for the same day as DH's next counseling session with SS10. 

notarelative's picture

It's fitting that the post below yours is titled Play Stupid Games
Your post is a continuation of the theme.

1dad4kids's picture

Oh man I wish I could just copy and paste the emails into here lol. BM's lawyer has gone nuts. And now she's wanting to contact SS10's counselor to clarify some points, like did she get a copy of DH's lawyers email already? Does the counselor think that these sessions are solely for transitioning, etc.? 

I'm hopeful that the counselor will know what she's playing with here, and continue the sessions in order to help SS10 out. I'm really, really hoping that the counselor placates BM and her lawyer and then still says SS10 is emotionally ready and DOES provide a recommendation that is for week on week off. 

SS10 thinks he's still doing week on week off with us when school starts. He was explaining it to his sister. I never corrected him, I'll let his Mom do that. 

tog redux's picture

In my practice, I refuse to speak to any attorneys, except one appointed for the child. They twist your words and use them against the other parent in court. Hopefully this one won't entertain this nonsense.

1dad4kids's picture

I'm hoping so. She seems to be pretty great. After weeding through BM's lawyers email I think what happened was SS10 told BM that the counselor said she was only there to help him with a decision that's already been made. Taking both myself and DH off the hook for blame.

So I'm not sure how BM is going to make the counselor change her mind now. Poor thing

IamBackUW's picture

I think your husband's ex is pretty much textbook HCBM territory.

Tell me she can't fleece your H more just because her victim err husband isn't earning as much?! Doesn't biohag have income?! Wtf?!

Does the court take into consideration your children with your H?

1dad4kids's picture

She used to clean houses but quit so she could take some psychology course and help her disfunctional children. Who knows how she pays for schooling and her lawyer. 

Where we live there is no legal requirement to take other children into account. DH & BM agreed that DH would pay according to the federal guidelines. So now she's trying to say DH is underemploying himself. Which would be DH's lawyers counter argument as well.