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So no interim application

1dad4kids's picture

DH's lawyer took his sweet time filing for the interim application and the chamber's judge isn't available until September 1st. So the interim application makes no sense to do then, so we're heading to pretrial. DH's lawyer said pretrial will probably be Sept 1 but will know more Monday or Tuesday. 

In the meantime DH & BM are supposed to still try to agree on a counsellor for SS10 to help him get used to a new parenting arrangement. The thing is, BM doesn't actually believe that's the point  of the counseling sessions. And DH is verifying the counselors beforehand whereas she's just google searching. 

With the delay already happening , DH may agree to one of the counselors BM picked just because she knew DH wouldn't go for it because they had a waiting list. He's just waiting to hear back to see if they can get in earlier. Wouldn't she be surprised lol



shamds's picture

so bloody simple is turning into something so bloody complicated.

decades ago kids weren’t getting counselling to adjust to new custody/parenting agreements. They were told mummy and daddy divorced, few years later or whatever were told mummy or daddy met someone and later on we are getting married etc... 

no coddling kids and overexaggerating the trauma of divorce.

when my parents divorced i had just finished highschool but marriage had been on the rocks at least a decade prior. It was such a relief mum making that decision because at least there would be peace at home and no more hostility...

now we gotta over coddle the cod, they need counselling sessions to adjust to a parenting agreement etc. its hard enough when one of the parents is abusive, high conflict and a narcissist and the courts want extra things to be done with someone who’s ultimate mission is to cause a never ending headache and sabotage your life..

never is there a conselling session suggested to stepparents during a breakup/dissolution of marriage from the trauma of stepcrap family life, we are told we are the problems and imagining things and to suck it up... but not the kids, not ever??

1dad4kids's picture

I hear you. We as stepparents get the extra crap and we don't get the extra coddle. 

That being said, I have suspicions that the C&A interviewer recommended the specific family systems theory approach for SS10's counseling sessions to actually make DH & BM better at communicating. Which they could benefit from. 

Nonetheless, this is quite the shit show. DH's lawyer said the Pretrial judge might just push for the new parenting arrangement without the counseling if it seems like BM isn't going to agree otherwise.



shamds's picture

they want dad and mum to communicate better but mum is the cause of the shitshow and drama but not held responsible

its about time courts realize that things aren’t black and white and realize that high conflict parents cause these issues

1dad4kids's picture

We need a mandatory course for divorces and custody battles on how to deal with high conflict/not be high conflict. 

It's ridiculous. Literally nothing is easy to talk to her about, even basic things that should be a simple end up in an argument.

tog redux's picture

Welcome to Family Court. Nothing is straightforward or happens on time. And BM will take advantage of every delay in the process. Next, her attorney will claim it's too disruptive for him to move to 50/50 after school has already started. 

Family Court is like no other court because it has little to do with evidence, and everything to do with emotion. It's a broken system, in my opinion. 

1dad4kids's picture

The goal of the pretrial will be to ensure the end of the counselor sessions is the beginning of the new parenting arrangement. Based on the info in the assessment they would have a difficult time convincing the judge otherwise. 


Although I know narcissists play a whole different game, and the second you feel confident they put you back in your place

tog redux's picture

Yes, please go into it knowing that things don't always go how you think they should. The judge could be convinced to toss the whole assessment out, you just never know.   What seems like a good case isn't always what wins.  A weeping mother can prevail over logic and the assessment of the law guardian.  That's why I say it's a different kind of court - in criminal court, facts are all that matters - emotional persuasion often wins the day in Family Court.

And based on what you said, BM is delaying the counselor sessions to buy more time.  And this is why I say it's broken. The law guardian should have just said, "50/50 should start on September 1st, PERIOD," and not made it contigent on BM and DH agreeing on something.

1dad4kids's picture

I couldn't agree more, it's been such a pain in the neck. But the interviewer said that SS10 feels overwhelmed when his parents don't get along so I think this was her way of attempting to force them to. Combined with the specific theory that the counselor needs to have knowledge of. 

DH doesn't seem bothered by it. He's not intimidated by BM in the least. He laughs at her when she tries to be high conflict (behind the vail of a BIFF response) but that doesn't make this process any less tedious.