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DH's lawyer not overly optimistic

1dad4kids's picture

So our C&A assessment came back in DH's favor with the recommendation being that DH & BM keep joint custody and move to a 50/50 shared parenting arrangement on a week on, week off basis. It's exactly what DH has been going through the courts for the last 6 years to get. 

The assessor did recommend SS10 go through a minimum of 4 counseling sessions prior to the transition. Here's where the problem occurs. 

BM is overly dramatic. She infantilizes SS10 and doesn't believe he is emotionally capable of ANYTHING. Her side of the report basically said all she does as a parent is promote emotional intelligence and talk about feelings and etc. 

DH believes that in order to cause the least stress on the transition for SS10 that we should have the counseling sessions completed prior to the new school year beginning. It's a reasonable schedule but DH's lawyer believesBM will almost certainly suggest it's too quick. 

DH's lawyer has sent a 5 step proposal to BM which outlines basically completing the counseling so the transition can occur before the new school year. The school year parenting time arrangement is DH has SS10 every Wednesday evening and alternating weekends. The teacher's interview in the assessment said that SS10 was often quiet or sad at school on the days that he left our place and went back to her place. So the sooner he can get the counseling done before the school year, the better. 

DH's lawyer won't schedule a pretrial until after BM responds regarding the proposal, but did say he would put a deadline on it so she can't use any delay tactics. 

He sent the proposal out today, but realizing it's a Sunday we likely won't hear back for a few more days. If at all. I know BM's family is going camping so she may try to claim lack of service for not communicating. Either way, once the deadline passes DH's lawyer will schedule a pretrial. 

Just need something to help me relax about it, as I know it's out of our hands at this point. 


tog redux's picture

Just so you know - she can drag this out for a long time, and even if the judge agrees with it, it won't be the end. She can refile petitions, make false allegations, etc.

Your DH might want to agree to less than 50/50 to let her feel like she "won" and has more, rather than take this to trial

day.drmr76's picture

We were successful and the judge ruled in favor of everything for DH.  As I previously posted to you to celebrate cautiously. We did the same and just as we suspected, they filed an appeal. Shocking they didn't agree with the courts decision .  Fast forward a bit and BM refuses to comply with order, tried to file a motion to pause the order while in appeal - judge denied. 

BM was still not complying taking SD to school and for the first time DH filed something against BM - contempt. Judge ruled in his favor and BM faces jailtime. She now is complying with the order.  

Moral of the story, this is a marathon...not a sprint. We were told we have another year wrapped up in an appeal.  Completely ridiculous waste of time, money and just life. 

With that, I wouldn't budge on the 50/50 if you truly think it's in the kiddo's best interest. I'll pray the ruling is in your favor and changes the momentum but hang in there. 

1dad4kids's picture

We actually have a few previous instances in which BM took SS10 during DH's access time without DH's permission. DH's lawyer wanted us to file against her if she did it again but DH didn't think that would fare well with negotiations and at the time they had a pretrial scheduled. Instead DH's lawyer issued her a letter of sorts warning her of what would happen if she tried that again. 

However, the pretrial was a joke. BM is a Narcissist so even with the proof right in front of her face she'll never come to grips with it until she decides it's what is right. So ya, never. We need a legal ruling and we need her to run out of money.

 Coincidentally BM's DH is taking his BM to court right now and since he's BM's bank roll we're thinking her time in the courts is running out. 



1dad4kids's picture

Agreeing to less would contradict the assessment. Contradicting the assessment would be contradicting the judge who ordered it. SS10 has ADHD and his specific ability to handle transitions due to it is awful. One handover a week is in his best interest so I know DH wouldn't settle for anything less than what's in SS10's best interest.