Counselor choices-BM keeps changing story
BM & DH are looking for a counselor for SS10. The counselor must have experience with a specific theory. The purpose of the counselor was to prep SS10 for changes to the parenting arrangement- going to week on week off year round.
So first BM comes back with a list of counselors all from the same practice in a different city who don't have experience with the theory.
So DH sends BM an email without discussing with his lawyer first and says he found a local counselor and has set up an appointment for he and BM to go and see if they are the right fit for SS10.
Well BM comes back saying DH shouldn't have scheduled an appointment and that the purpose of the counselor sessions is for SS10's mental health, not to help him with the transition to the new parenting schedule. She also says that her SD14 and BS8 both go to that counselor already. DH is now officially confused and asks her why, if it's already a counselor she trusts, can't SS10 use them too? She also says SS10 should use a counselor in the next city because they are psychologists with doctorate level degrees and that's who she trusts for SS10.
BM doesn't respond but DH's lawyer (who was BCC'd in all the correspondence) does.
Lawyer says he contacted BM's lawyer and said cooperation now or we're going to pretrial. So BM's lawyer comes back saying BM said she doesn't want to use that counselor because she's worried about the counselor being prejudice towards SS10 because of their work with the other children. She also said she's worried her children wouldn't feel comfortable talking to the counselor if they thought the counselor would tell the other child what they said about them.
So... How does that make sense? Why wasn't she worried about all that before she put her BS8 in it, but now she's worried about SS10?
So she also rejects DH's alternative counselor because they are only available by video chat and she thinks SS10 can't handle that. (because he has mild ADHD) but he'd been doing online courses just fine and sometimes the lessons would be an hour long on zoom.
So she sends back another alternative counselor, this one local. She isn't sure that they practice the theory that is required, and not one of them is a psychologist. Although earlier she said that was the only kind of counselor she wanted SS10 to see.
DH's lawyer has already begun drafting the interim application to get it court ordered to proceed with the local counselor DH chose. And said if BM doesn't come around by the end of the weekend then it's pretrial time too.
I know we can't get into the heads of our BM's. But any one can figure out that constantly back tracking on her position isn't going to look good in the pretrial. I just am not sure what she's trying to accomplish.
Is anyone here both BM and SM? Maybe you can shed some light on this?