Is this the counseling working?
The other day when DH picked SS10 up from school he told DH he'd been called a name on the playground. DH handled it, then when SS10 got home and I asked how school was he had DH tell me about the name. DH told me later that after SS10 had told him about the name calling that he thanked him for letting him tell him. DH was confused but didn't say so, he just said "anytime, that's what I'm here for".
Today SS10 was quarantined at school because he wasn't feeling well. He explained to me that he had a stomach ache in the morning before school but felt better after eating. Then at school it was bike riding in gym class which he said he kinda likes but kinda not. He took his sweater off and got cold and said his whole face went hot and then his stomach started hurting again. Something similar happened to my nephew repeatedly during his school year last year and it was eventually discovered to be anxiety. My nephew is 11 months older than SS10, they are close cousins although they live about 5 hours apart.
So I take SS10 into his room when he gets home and I go over how him and Nephew are similar (ADHD, age, blended families, etc etc) and SS10 is happily agreeing. I tell him that nephew had the same issues last year and that it ended up being anxiety. I assured SS10 that I am not saying it is anxiety, and we discuss how it could be a stomach bug, the effects of increasing his ADHD meds and etc. Afterwards I ask if he could just pay attention, if it happens frequently maybe it is anxiety and he should tell his Mom, or DH or I, his teacher or even his counselor if he wants. We finish up the conversation and I get ready to leave. SS10 stops me and asks me to sit back down on his bed.
He then starts to open up about what's going on at his Mom's house. His step sisters are living with him apparently because their mom's new boyfriend hit her. He said his Mom and stepdad are going to court and his Mom is stressed out and the court date keeps changing. He goes on to say he doesn't like his sister's Mom because she fired his stepdad from his job. (DH and I knew this, but we aren't sure how this happened. SS10 didn't elaborate). He said his sister's still said their Mom is nice and he didn't understand that. I compared it to if I said his Mom did something bad and he agreed he would still love her and think she's nice. We talked a bit more about how he can support his sister's etc.
After that convo then he opened up to me about thinking he might try to get a gf. He asks me about growing out his hair to make him irresistible like he was when he was little. (How adorable to think that him being irresistible to people when he was 3 was just from his curly hair lol). I told him to make a friend with a girl before trying to be her bf and he said he promised to tell me before he asked anyone to be his gf.
I've been feeling a bit disconnected from SS10 lately. I was worried BM was alienating SS10 from us as he didn't really seem to want to spend time with me. Aside from opening up to me about his fears for counseling because of what his mom said he'd been distant. He's had 3 counseling sessions since then. Do you think his openness and communication with me (he really never talks about his Mom's house with anything negative) is due to the counseling. DH seems to think so, I think it's likely as well. I'm hopeful it's opening us up for a steady communication.
If it's the counseling then Yay! If it's just SS10 warming up to me again then Yay! Im hopeful this means no more alienation in the future!