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This b*tch

1dad4kids's picture

SS10's b'day happens to be my due date. SS10 has been excited about this since finding out. I've been a week overdue with my previous pregnancies so thinking the same with this one. DH's weekend is with SS10 on his birthday and we've planned a party. Socially distanced but lots of games and fun. SS10 has been looking forward to it, he's been looking up gifts online the last 2 times He's been here, for hours lol. He damn well knows when his party is. 

Today we posted a Baby Pool through our company page. The post says the baby is due on SS10's b'day. 

BM texts DH saying SS10 asked if he was with her this year for his birthday because he was with us last year.  SS10 knows he's with us, he's excited. There's no fucking way he said that to her, there's no way he would want to miss his party and possibly the baby being born. She saw the post and doesn't want to increase the likelihood that SS10 is here when the baby arrives, because he has been with the other babies and of course goes back to her all excited about his new baby sibling and she can't stand him being happy here. Oh ya, and last year SS10 was with us on his birthday but it was the first time since he turned 1 (she didn't even want him on his 1st b'day). 

DH just texted back saying that SS10 must've forgotten it was his party that weekend and maybe they can switch next year. 

I said uh no, we can switch in 8 years ha ha ha. 

Anyway. What a bitch. Rant over. 



Picardy III's picture

Insecure BMs really have a field day with our due dates, heh.
BM here filled YSS with anxiety that our DD might be born on BM's birthday, so then the kids would forever after be torn away from her (BM's) birthday celebrations. ...DD's due date was, uh, a month after BM's birthday, and she ended up coming 8 weeks early anyhow -- but why let things be when you can obsess and grasp for control instead?

I'm sorry BM is throwing a wrench in your joy :(. Hopefully your baby will come while SS is there, whenever that might be.

1dad4kids's picture

I'm sure SS10 knew she would get upset over it, which is why he never told her. Our last baby was due around his little sister's b'day and when he told BM she said she hoped they didn't share a birthday because she didn't want to have to make him choose whether or not he's at the party or the birth. And on her other sons b'day when SS10 was with us she called him and told him all about the party and SS10 asked to go, when he had already gone to a party for his brother during our time

tog redux's picture

BM here used to do this - " SS says he wants this, SS says he wants that."  We'd ask SS and he'd proclaim innocence. Turns out he WAS asking that stuff, sometimes to make BM feel as if he hated it at our house so she'd be happy, and other times just to manipulate and get the goodies from her.  He'd love being at our house and tell her he hated it.

We believed him for a long time and it effectively served to pit DH and BM against each other, because he was telling them two different things. I've never really decided if he was mostly being manipulative, or mostly protecting himself in a situation were his parents hated each other.  Probably a bit of both.

So - don't be quick to assume SS didn't ask her that, even if he did it just to make her feel better.

1dad4kids's picture

Well we'll never know, we have no intentions of asking him about it. 

Like his bday is just a few weeks away. What kind of parent wouldn't have a party planned already? I get there's a pandemic but their house is just as big as ours and I know there's plenty of room to social distance. 

I'm pretty confident if he did say anything to her, it's because she brought it up after seeing our company post. And she instigated it. She's such a bitch. 

tog redux's picture

Yes, that could be true that she brought it up. And she doesn't care if you have a party or not, her home is the more important place in her eyes, and the last thing she wants is SS being happy at your house with a new sibling AND a birthday party.

It was eye-opening when we realized SS was really a part of all the stuff that was going on, and that he was lying to both parents.  Honestly, that was the point at which my relationship with him started down the slope to where it is today - couldn't care less.

Are you an extreme night owl or a serious early bird? Isn't it 4:30 am in SK?

1dad4kids's picture

Yes, we've known for years that SS10 lies to his Mom, and us so that "no one's feelings get hurt". He doesn't grasp that actually more feelings get hurt by lying despite how we tell him. 

Let's say I'm an early riser lol. Put the 1yo down for a nap at 3:30 last night and he slept until 4 this morning. I'm thinking a growth spurt. Either way I'm up lol.

tog redux's picture

I think for my SS lying became a way of life, sadly. I don't believe anything he says. 

1dad4kids's picture

I know it's a defence mechanism. He doesn't want to admit his Mom has lied. And he doesn't want to get in trouble. We generally just don't ask him anymore. Sometimes we can ask about other things and it will prove he's lying or that she is, but we never tell him we know the truth. 

tog redux's picture

Yes, that sounds familiar. I don't think my SS realizes now that he himself is the only one who believes his lies. He's been saying he's getting his driver's license soon, for 4 years now.  Certainly is some kind of defense but it's really maladaptive at almost 21. 

1dad4kids's picture

Omg. If SS10 doesn't bget his license the day he's eligible I'll probably disown him. Lol. 

I'm kidding of course. But he tried to say he wasn't sure if he'd be ready by 16. I told him that no 16 year old is ready, you just go for it. And also he isn't getting a car if he doesn't get his license. 

tog redux's picture

Mine likes to pretend he's a grown-up while still nursing  at BM's. Who need a car and a job when Mommy will pay for an Uber?