23 and me- Advice needed!
DH and I just ordered 23and me tests for ourselves and the 2 oldest SS11 and DD5. We got the health kits because I have some issues in my family and DH's Dad has a lot of health issues.
We thought it would be neat to see how the kids are different, and also see if SS11 has any health factors that BM wouldn't necessarily disclose.
We know BM did 23 and me last year, but she didn't get kits for any of the kids. SS11 said she's from "all over the world".
When I spent the hundreds of dollars on the kits I didn't think there would be any reason for BM to object. Especially since she has done it herself.
But now I have a nagging bad feeling and I'm wondering if I can cancel the kits. I haven't said anything to DH. But I'm worried that BM will find out and flip her lid. She may have several reasons but it's no secret that SS11's birth date and conception date don't add up perfectly. Do these tests determine paternity? I'm just sick about it.
Obviously DH has no thoughts of this in his mind. We had purchased a paternity test years ago (pre court) that we never used because DH said he was sure SS11 was his. We did have another questionable time come up when we discovered our youngests due date was the same as SS11's birth date and the conception date didn't make sense for his and BM's date. DH decided the physical appearance and behavior of SS11 was all the proof he needed. I've never requested a test of course. If this test somehow determines that's SS11 is not DH's it will be devastating.
I guess my question is this:
If this kit determines paternity, knowing there is a chance that SS11 may not be DH's, what should I do?
I think I can still cancel, and maybe I can tell DH my card bounced but I hate lying.
I can also talk to DH about the possibility of the results and just let him decide what to do but a part of me doesn't want him to be so confident and go through with it and... Well you know... Be heartbroken. I know SS11 would always be his son but I also know it would cause intense tension between him and BM and I'm not sure I can take that.
If course there's the more likely possibility that the kits will return with the fun and health info we're hoping for. And I got worked up for nothing.
Arg! I need advice- quick. I'm not sure how long I have to cancel before it's shipped out