82 left until SS11 is here 50/50 permanently.
We're struggling with so many things that we have been saying will "change" once SS11 is here more.
It's as though, because the time is actually coming, we have LESS patience for the interim.
Things like having to re-teach him how to use a knife every time he's here.
Or that when he messes up on something, that he needs to fix it. Mommy isn't here SS11, no one is going to fix it for you.
BM is supposed to be giving DH his share of SS11'S medications with each fill. She's failed to do this so far. She sent SS11 with just a few days worth this time claiming she had to fill the prescription. Fine, this has happened before since it's a controlled substance prescriptions can only be ordered 2 days before they run out.
So I told DH about my convo with SS11 and he flipped. He's so angry at BM for alienating SS11 from his StepSister and making SS11 feel like he can't talk to his other stepsister about what's going on.
He said he recently watched a newscast which claims when a child is made to believe their words could cause problems in the family and so they arent allowed to speak about those problems, it's a form of child abuse.
He was ready to message BM in their parenting app that minute but I asked him not to as I know that would be the end of SS11's safe place to talk/vent.
SS11 arrived today and hadn't been here 10 minutes before asking to speak with me privately.
Turns out while he was here last, BM took away his oldest StepSister's phone for "doing something bad" so StepSister took off to her Mom's and refuses to come back.
SS11 confided to me that StepSister said something bad about each member of the family. He said BM told him that StepSister said he hogs the electronics. I didn't ask what she said about the other members but SS11 said BM wouldn't tell him because it was so bad.
DH and I just ordered 23and me tests for ourselves and the 2 oldest SS11 and DD5. We got the health kits because I have some issues in my family and DH's Dad has a lot of health issues.
We thought it would be neat to see how the kids are different, and also see if SS11 has any health factors that BM wouldn't necessarily disclose.
We know BM did 23 and me last year, but she didn't get kits for any of the kids. SS11 said she's from "all over the world".
The schools in my city are back to remote learning until after the Easter break. BM texted DH today saying she wouldn't be concerned about the school work this time (as if she was last time) and blah blah. DH didn't acknowledge that and just told her to send SS11's clothes.
She claims the kids need a break. Um, what? They have a break coming up in a week. I'm pretty sure they can go to school on a computer for 5 days.
She just doesn't want to have to parent them. Shocker.
DH complained to me again about SS11's weight. I have talked with SS11, he understands he is over weight. He is not willing to do anything about it at this time. While at our house he eats appropriate for his age and height, and we serve only nutritious foods to the whole family.
He is overeating at BM's. It's very clear. DH recently pulled up at BM's and saw her groceries as she was unloading and he didn't see anything nutritious. Not even a fruit. Just a bunch of packaged foods and sweets. Their entire family (save for SS11's younger brother) is overweight, obese actually.
I love SS11. But I didn't raise him. So he acts very different from the rest of the members of our family, and other kids I know. He's sweet, but there are a handful of things that just irk me.
1) He can't stand not knowing what the next meal will be. If it's in the oven or a closed pot he will hover by me waiting until I expose it. If I tell him what it is, he says over and over "I can't wait for (insert meal here)" until it's in front of him. If he can smell it, he will desperately try to guess what it is from smell.
DH's lawyer sent an email today saying he's got 4 signed copies of the agreement for DH to sign.
Wow. I came downstairs to DH crying in the living room and passing me his phone.
We literally never thought this would happen. Even when it was happening. We're picking out a nice gift for our lawyer for DH to bring to his signing. We can't wait for this hurdle to be OVER.
Wish him luck tomorrow guys. I know our dealings aren't done, but this is the next step in a big deal.
Or what's the term for current stress disorder?
Yep, agreement STILL not signed. BM got it, the day DH's lawyer sent it she messaged DH on the app he recommended. She was trying to control DH's compensatory time but DH had requested a different date. She said she'd run back to her lawyer to fix it but DH told his lawyer not to handle it and to revert them back to DH.