You are here

1dad4kids's Blog

SIL is a real A hole

1dad4kids's picture

DH's sister has a history of saying stupid stuff. She once commented Ewwww on one of my Instagram posts that had a picture of DH with no shirt on. DH had recently became very fit and was gaining confidence with his body. I told her to unfollow me if she couldn't be mature enough to see her brother without a shirt on. That was about 3 years ago and she still doesn't follow me. Idgaf. 

So the other day she texts DH, probably trying to get an invite to DS's 1st birthday party, and says she's thinking about him and what's up? 

The suspense is killing me

1dad4kids's picture

Not literally, of course, but I hate the waiting!

Our custody and access Interview was completed on Tuesday with the interviewer only calling 2 of DH's references, which happened to be our Mom's. We have no idea, obviously, how many she called of BM's. DH has been trying for 50/50 access for 6 years, they've had joint custody for 3. They were expected to agree on 50/50 at their last pretrial but BM wasn't budging from DH's 27%. 

Interviewer said she wants to get this settled

1dad4kids's picture

So SS10's interview was only about 15-20 minutes. DH said that when the interviewer asked SS10 if he wanted to do another one he said no. But when he came up afterwards DH asked him how it went and SS10 was in a really good mood and said it went great! DH obviously didn't say anything more.

Today both my Mom and MIL has their interviews. My Mom called me right after and was very happy with how it went. She said she feels like she let the interviewer know how beneficial 50/50 access would be for SS10.

Wish us luck!

1dad4kids's picture

SS10 has his Custody and Access Interview at 1:15 today. We haven't told him about it yet, DH is going to tell him at lunch. He has anxiety so having him think too long about it would cause unnecessary worry and anxiety. 

We're not supposed to prep him, but since it's a video call meeting the C&A interviewer recommended we just let him know she won't be asking where he wants to live etc. And DH will be in the interview with him for the first few minutes to ease him into it. 

Hoping it goes well! Wish us luck!

 

I know we're far from done here

1dad4kids's picture

Today DH had his final interview with the custody and access interviewer. We had researched what the interviewer would be trying to find out so she could make her recommendations and DH thinks he hit them all pretty well. 

He had written a bit of a speech and they did the interview over video call. After he was done she asked him if he could email it to her. He did. He also sent her some of SS10'S journal entries and school work so she could see his mind space at our house. 

She hates me so much

1dad4kids's picture

Teeny bit of backstory: BM has been picking up SS10 for the past couple months instead of us dropping him off.

So tonight BM pulls up in her husband's truck and is waiting for SS10 in our driveway. I walk him out and have my 4 year old and 10 month old with me. I set the 10 month old down and everyone is saying goodbye to SS10. DH is at the door waving too. 

Well she did not even look in the direction of me. And honestly that's a safety issue because she had to back out of our driveway and I was in the direction for her to see oncoming traffic. 

He came over on his own!!

1dad4kids's picture

I tried to post this before but I kept getting an error message so I'll try again!

SS10 rode his bike to our house on Friday. It was the first time he's ever come over unannounced. He told me his Mom told him to go out and ride his bike so he told her he was going to his Dad's. We moved about 3 blocks away from BM Feb 27h, so it's definitely a distance any 10yo would be able to handle on their own. 

I was so excited I nearly cried. He said he only had 10 minutes but stayed about 30 altogether. He played with both his siblings then rode his bike back. 

I know I can't control it

1dad4kids's picture

I understand it takes all types of people to make the world work. I know not everything I do is right. I know I make mistakes. I know that I cannot, and should not try to change the way BM parents her children. I know this. 

But she's holding them back! Not just my SS10. Oh boy is he lucky he spends 27% of his time with us or he would be as bad as her other children. 

This is Bullsh*t

1dad4kids's picture

When the school year ended because of COVID-19 we wanted to switch to week on week off. BM said "it's not time for fun and run" but SS10 has been going Beaver hunting with his little brother's Dad (BM has 3 different baby daddies) during the week. 

Then BM shows up to pick up SS10 from access yesterday with SS10's Step sister 9. So they are taking BM's husband's kids during the school week when she claims it's time for stability and maintaining a schedule. 

Anxiety

1dad4kids's picture

This is my first entry. I think I'm hopeful that by getting it out there I'll be able to calm down or at least have an opinion from someone who can relate. 

First off, I'm not interested in disengaging, please don't recommend it. It's not something that will work for our family, although I can see how it does work for many.