BM argued all these nonsense points. The judge basically said her points don't matter. She said she wasn't interested in just ripping off the bandaid and starting week on week off so how would they do it? The judge said, "you pick a day, and you start on that day". The judge told BM that she would never get 40/60, the most she'd get is 45/55 and given SS11's issue with transitions and her inability to cooperate with DH for scheduling, he said it's unlikely she would get anything aside from week on week off.
The Idiot emailed DH's lawyer today saying despite the counselor letter and the C&A recommendation, BM still doesn't believe 50/50 is in SS11's best interest. She did, however, concede to 40/60 with an increase of time with an extra day every second weekend and additional days "here and there" during SS11's school breaks. Even though she admits DH already has that extra time, so it's really not an increase at all.
I know I said I was going to take a break but I'm feeling much more optimistic now lol.
DH took SS11 to his fourth session today. The min required amount. Afterwards the counselor says to DH, "well that was SS11's last session unless he wants to keep seeing me. I'll get that letter written and sent out as soon as I can".
I was still very "meh" at this point. I thought the letter would take days and that when it did show it would favor BM's position.
Sometimes I wonder if it's a blessing or curse to have found this site.
Everything BM does now, I assume has an ulterior motive. I never react optimistically anymore. Not only that, things that used to get me excited (either happily or energetically towards a cause) with her are now blase.
Oh BM agreed to something for once?
Meh. I'm sure there's a reason behind it to benefit her.
Oh BM is irrationally freaking out about something and now we look better for court?
Meh. I'm sure the bias judge will side with her anyway.
So the Idiot sends DH's lawyer an email yesterday saying she hasn't told BM about his intentions to go to trial if BM doesn't issue a letter stating she believes shared parenting is in SS11'S best interest.
*UPDATE- BM chose to cancel SS11'S session instead of doing a video session. The counselor sent an email to the lawyers asking when the letter is due, looks like she's going to send it anyway, despite SS11 not completing the 4 minimum sessions.
Today was the first email between the lawyers about the pretrial. BM's lawyer (we'll call her Idiot from now on) sent DH's lawyer an email asking if the pretrial was scheduled or if it was dependent on the counselor's recommendations? Then the Idiot goes on to ask if they are supposed to email the counselor and ask for her recommendation prior to the pretrial.
Most of you know I've raised SS11 alongside DH since infancy. To him, I am very much a parent. He even believes he's inherited some of my traits (long arms, intelligence, eye color even though they are different lol). Its sweet.
Please don't attack me for this post lol. It's about kissing on the lips which I know so many people take issue with even with bio children. If you have an issue with it in general, I'd appreciate keeping that out of your response.
Today was joint counseling session #2, and the counselor was pretty clear it would be the last one.
DH called me afterward and he sounded happy. So I said how did it go? And he said, well I really yelled at her.
So here's what went down apparently.
DH hates BM today. He sent me a text after dropping SS11 off at school telling me he doesn't trust anything she says or does. I don't know if he saw her at the school or what, but I understand his anger.
DH had to work all weekend, I had to work too and my work took me out of town. With all 4 kids in tow. SS11 was in a great mood and the drive, although long, went smoothly. I was surprised but BD4 and SS11 are very helpful with the littles.