It's been a bit since The StepDad has contacted me. Id genuinely thought he'd decided to bark up a different tree since out last convo was basically me telling him we weren't interested in more drama.
Today he sends me a message "can you get DH to call me" then leaves his number. I just said "he's not gonna call you. Unless it has something to do with SS11's safety. He just wants to stay out of it."
I don't know what's with her.
She forced DH to agree to keeping SS11 in swim club and music lessons in the CO. He cannot end his music lessons unless he wants to quit. Then pulls SS11 from music lessons.
The week before we found this out SS11 was excited to start back at lessons, and excitedly exclaimed he was going to ask BM when they started.
Then this last week I ask him when they start and he says "oh I'm not going in lessons this year because I've been going through so much"
SS11 is in competitive swimming. He actually ages out this year for both the level he's in and the level after. He's been in his current level for 3 years. We've had a suspicion for years that he doesn't like it, but attends to appease BM who has dreams of SS11 one day following in her footsteps of becoming a life guard. When we ask him, he insists he likes swimming just not the competition.
Anyway it's in the CO that he stays in it until he no longer enjoys it. He did tell BM 2 years ago he wasn't liking it anymore but she convinced him to stay in.
So since my blogs are gone here's a bit of background.
SS11 started struggling with weight gain during the pandemic. He outgrew all of his clothes, we bought him new and he outgrew those. Out, not up. (although he has of course grown taller as well).
Whenever we broached the subject we said "you'll know when it's time to start worrying about it".
Over the summer he wouldn't swim without a shirt on. He started pulling at his shirt uncomfortably. He was awkward in every type of clothing.
BM sent a crazy message to DH today about SS11 not answering her texts all week. Saying that SS11's phone better be in his possession and available to him!!! DH just responded that he didn't know why SS11 wasn't texting her.
When I picked up SS11 from school I asked him why he wasn't texting his Mom. He just shrugged. I said well she thinks your Dad has taken your phone hostage and that he's not allowing you to text him. Is your phone in your backpack? You better text her back right now.
So SS11 let me know today that BM has a new boyfriend. I couldn't help myself. I HAD to ask, "I thought they weren't divorced yet?" "Oh, uh. Yeah I think they are now". I just accepted that, knowing full well it was fucking impossible and that BM is a crazy hypocrite. (if you don't know what I'm talking about, SS11 said the woman The StepDad was dating was actually them cheating.)
Anyway I just pretended to accept that and said good for her, we all want her to be happy. He said he's already met the boyfriend and that BM told SS11 "I've never had a man treat me like he does".
So SS11's cell phone is an android. Does anyone know what is the best app for DH to put on it to monitor SS11's use? One that turns off the wifi and etc would also be a bonus.
Extra extra bonus if it can be hidden on the phone.
My blogs are deleted and I know there are a lot of background stories to remember around here so let me refresh your memory.
When DH & BM were in the pretrial BM said she wanted to get SS11 a cell phone so they could communicate. DH agreed but said he would not be playing on it. I lost my shit. Nearly left DH since it goes against our agreed upon house rules of no cell phone until 16. I flipped on the lawyer, basically went nuts. I was not allowing her to affect the rules in our house.
DH & BM have the emergency contact list in their CO. When The StepDad left the picture, BM inserted her Aunty/Mom into the position where The StepDad was. The CO states the order is 1. BM, 2. DH, 3. The StepDad, 4.1dad4kids, 5. Aunty/Mom, 6. MIL. So without The StepDad, the list should default to bump everyone up.
DH already told her to have it fixed and she brushed him off with a "Ohhhhhhhhh! We're going by the CO now are we?" even though DH has been following it exactly since it was signed.
Well it wasn't BM in The StepDad's truck. He messaged me while DH and I were out on a date last night to tell me BM has taken a no contact order out on him. So I asked him who was in his truck. Apparently it was his "friend picking up a friend" which I think is his new gf trying to stick it to BM. Good for her. Anyway I told him it was confusing for SS11 and asked him if he wouldn't mind not lending his truck out for school pick ups and he said he hadn't thought about that and would try not to do it again.
I never mentioned anything to SS11 of course.