And not only have things not improved, as predicted got much much worse. Short of it marriage is over, bitter divorce and in the end my kids and I are suffering.

Dropped the skids off to BM Sunday (girls 3 and 17 mo) and DH gets a lovely series of text messages from BM while at work today... And I quote:

We had dinner with the one skid I can stand tonight. It went very well and we all talked and got along great. After dinner I pointed out how different this dinner was compared to the past dinner. The last time we did dinner with a skid I was excluded from convo, no eye contact was made, etc...he finally saw my point! At the time all that occurred he thought I was over reacting. He is slowly learning and he said he would stop that from happening again. Time will only tell.

I hate her I really do. I see her and my blood boils. The hell that she has put SO and myself through. Going through custody now its terrible. She is such a shitty mother, always dropping her kids off to her mothers, where skids are allowed to do whatever they want (eat chocolate for breakfast, watch TV all day etc etc etc). How much are SO and I supposed to take. Its really exhausting to deal with all of her bullshit. The stunts she pulls are unreal. Just when you think she has done the worst that she can do she pulls another jaw dropping stunt.

The past year has been a nightmare for me and the conflicts between me and DH keep arising. My SS turned 18 last fall and just graduated from HS a month ago but the problems seemed to have started about a year ago (last summer). A little background: We have our own BD (9) and I have been raising SS since he was 6. I love him and care about him but I am so sick of all his crap. It really started when he started driving.

I'm tapping OUT! Seriously. I'm sure he'll manage to fool another woman into taking care of him and his entitled little brats

I've cooked, cleaned, planned birthday parties, helped with homework and school projects, dropped off, picked up, dropped off forgotten folders and homework, etc... and do you know what I've discovered?

IT IS ALL FOR FUCKING NAUGHT!!!

We alternate holidays with BM's. This year 4th of July falls on Monday. It is our long weekend to have SKIDS (Thursday 6:30pm to Monday 7:30pm is our regular weekend) but it is BM's year to have SKIDS for 4th of July.

Money is tight and I dont have the finances to entertain the kids, do much for the 4th, or even feed them. (no bbq or any of the traditional 4th of July weekend hoopla)

Dh has been paying a ridiculous amount of $ for his C.S.. I think its about time we consult a lawyer and see if we have a case, but I've been calling around and so far all offices say they 1charge for consultation and 2you need to give pay wether they win or not.. obviously we dnt want to risk it by hiring a lawyer who will probably not do his/her job right cause they'll still get pd..any advice???

We had our baby boy in February. Now that the dust has settled, I find myself looking at pregnant women, wanting to experience that again (weird, huh?...I had a really great pregnancy and enjoyed it!). Also, knowing the love that I have for my baby and thinking that I could have that AGAIN with another child...it just sort of amazes me.

I got a call this morning from my mom telling me that I need to go to my grandpas soon and see him. He is almost 90 and he has been deteriorating slowly for a few years. My aunt called her and told her that he has had some sudden changes the past week, rapid wait loss and memory loss. My mom wanted to make sure that I saw him incase this continued and next time I see him he forgets who I am. Now I talk to my grandfather a few times a week on the phone and its always been a bit disjointed so I didn't notice since I hadn't seen him in person in a month.