She's in college. Has a job. Lives in another town closer to her school with her BF. She's doing pretty good and we are both proud of that. I don't know her really well....to say we have any relationship would be an overstatement. Not that I dislike her, I just really don't know her very well.
DH and I hooked up when she was 17. Loyal and faithful to her mommy. Of course at that age she wasn't wanting to know me at all. She cried when she found out I was pregnant with now BD 15months. Didn't want to share Daddy. Cute at 17 to call your father daddy. (okay, whatever). Anyways, she's sat in my kitchen before and told me how she wished her parents would get back together. Again, okay - whatever. Who doesn't wish that right? Her Christmas card to her dad last year said "I'll always be daddy's little girl.....the inside said as long as you keep buying me things". It's funny because it's true. She called DH once and asked him to take a day off work, drive to her town, pick her up, and take her to the dentist. Her BF couldn't miss school, and she didn't want to take a cab. DH didn't, of course. But ridiculous request like that come from her pretty often. Typically not answered because they are stupid.
My favorite hurtful memory of her is that mine and DH's (at that time we weren't married) first Christmas together. I still had the stupid thought that one day we would all get along and be a big family! LOL! I'm so very stupid for that. Anyways, she gives her daddy a shirt. DH is a big man, he needs a 2x. The shirt is a XL. She said they didn't have it in his size but she wanted him to have the shirt, yes it was that important for him to have this shirt that it didn't matter it didn't fit. Guess what the shirt had on it?
It's 10:00 PM, do you know where your girlfriend is? 1st picture under the words was a outline of a girl giving a guy head. 2nd was her being bent over doggy style. 3rd was 69. Nice shirt huh? DH still doesn't understand why I went to our bedroom and cried. Of course SD knows why. She made her point clear that day. Since then I really have shut down, disengaged, etc. with her. I just don't care.
She's down for the holiday. She spent about a hour with us on Tgiving. We were at DH's family's. Then we came home and DH and I cooked for my family. It was really nice, but really tiring also. Thank goodness DH is such a whiz and so helpful in the kitchen. Then yesterday she calls and says she wants to come over and have us make her and her BF dinner. Wow...thanks. But okay, tired of turkey already anyways. We ended up playing games. It started with her asking what do we have to play. I like to play scene it....DH doesn't though apparently. Because he didn't want to. They decide to play rummy. I don't know how to play that game so I finish cleaning up the kitchen while they play. Then I go to sit down and everyone has a great time playing cards. Then, oh yeah, Jen is here to. Do you want to learn? No, not really, I'm tired at this point. Well lets play spades DH says. SD doesn't know how and doesn't feel like learning either. Hum. Now what? How about crazy 8's? I don't know how, neither does DH, but we decide to learn. My first hand I had three eights! LOL! It was a fun game. Then SD realizes she didn't count her cards right so we have to start over. Wow, funny how that worked out. Now it's fun though because I'm loosing. But whatever, it was fun. SD starts to lose, so she decides we should stop playing that game and play sorry. Let me tell ya folks, sorry is not a game you play with someone who hates you! LOL!!!
The night ended up okay though. I had seven beers. That helped.
Anyways, the point of the story is that SD tells us that next month she is staying in this town all month long. Some issue with BF needing to help his dad, who lives here in this town also.
I dread next month. I wonder how many special dinner request will come about, you know with just her and daddy. Forget the fact that he has the rest of the family that needs to eat to!
Great.
I'll just hope for the best and plan for the worst I guess.
Ah Jen, I know how you feel
Even though I love DH with all my heart, whenever SD is here, I feel like I don't exist as far as they are concerned. DH doesn't even realize that it happens.
On the bright side, that also means that I don't have to deal with making small talk with a person I just don't like. If your SD is like mine, she tries to one-up anything you say or do, to the point of absolute stupidity. I made a cranberry salad for T-giving and told her that the cranberries were a bit tart. She said. "Oh, I drink pure cranberry juice - no sugar added." Does that even exist? She also works harder than anyone else, and is better at whatever she does than anyone else.
As far as the dinner requests...tell DH that he can cook and clean up. Go take some time and treat yourself to a nice meal with friends.
My hope for our SD's is that they
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
end up being stepmom's themselves. That they get back every piece of garbage they've piled on us.
Snotty comments? And that shirt was just out there. Can't believe her father would even accept such a thing. No. Second thought-H would act like it was a designer garment and treat it with special care had that been SD17 & him.
When I quit my bank job, I had words with the V.P. He and I did not get along-he's like 23, and as full of himself as Sd17 is.
Anyway, one day SD17 was over. Sitting in the living room, she mentioned the bank and looked at me and said "of course, you hate everyone that works there" real snotty. I said, no that's not the case-I made friends with several employees, and have alot of respect for the man who hired me". Her response "Sorry" again dripping scarcasm and snottiness, a little trick she learned from her father. B1tch.
And I think if your sd wants to come over for a meal, wouldn't it be super fun for she and her father to prepare it together? And you could conveniently be having a dinner date with a friend.
We ended up
having fun by the end of the night. Her and I teamed up on Sorry and beat the pants off DH and her BF, twice! LOL! But it started off pretty shady!
She's a nice girl, most of the time, don't get me wrong. We've just had our moments. Of course she hated me like crazy when I first came along.......I was the woman that took dad away....end result being BM sitting around drinking etc. So I understand why she didn't like me, and is just now really getting to know me. I don't blame her for it.....
Some things just still surprise me about her. She's very spoiled, DH says he knows it and it is his and BM's fault because they always gave her everything she wanted. But then again, she is doing great in school. So that's nice to be able to talk about and be proud of her about.
I stil get surprised though. Like for instance, last night when DH and I were cooking she tells me that we have to pay for her wedding, afterall that's tradition. I said well it looks like you're getting married at city hall!
Of course we will do what we can, but these days it isn't much.
She really never thinks of anyone but herself.....her mom and dad both know that as well and will both admit it freely! LOL!
I hope that while she's here next month I can get to know her a little better, and her me. Maybe being around us more will make her realize that me and DH love one another, and nothing will come between us. Yes, even her.
Beware
I hope it all woks out - but I know what I learned from my SD - be careful when she is being nicey nicey she is planning some sort of attack.
Wow....
Good luck!
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