BF received a voicemail yesterday afternoon from SD15 asking him to call her. BF called her back and let her know if she was interested, we were doing T-day at MIL at 2 and if she wanted to come to call him back. No return call, and BF constantly checked the phone up until we left to go to MIL's house today. We never have SD for Thanksgiving and even if we were actually following the EOW schedule, this isn't our weekend. Not like this matters, or that my opinion that she shouldn't be allowed to manipulate holidays matter.
When we get to MIL, she says SD called and was being dropped off at 3. Ok, little bugged. She can't call her dad to fill him in on this plan? He was moping around waiting for a call for a day and a half. MIL is surprised SD didn't call to let us know, but moves onto finishing dinner. BF doesn't keep MIL fully in the loop on SD and how she has been acting lately. SD has been avoiding having alone time with BF for over 6 months to avoid a discussion of her grades IMHO. The very few events (2 in 6 months) she has come to in the last little while she has arranged alternate transpo so there is no time to talk on the drive for pick-up and drop off and gambles grades won't be brought up in a mixed family setting.
MIL, FIL and BF are thrilled she is coming. They decide to delate dinner an hour to wait for her. 3 o'clock comes and goes. At 3:30 SD calls to say never mind her other side is going to a movie and she doesn't want to come.
I don't care if I ever see SD again, but I'm really tired of her jerking the chain of BF and MIL with the maybe I'll visit/maybe I won't crap. I'm bugged BF even lets her play this game and I think it is pathetic that MIL and BF let their emotions be so manipulated by a kid who really doesn't give a crap about them, but just wants to be at whatever event promises to bring her the most fun. BF, MIL, and FIL were visibly let down and the rest of had to work hard to bring the jovial holiday spirit back to the dinner.
I know wondering how long SD will be allowed to manipulate this family is a fruitless exercise, she'll do it as long as they will put up with it which will be way longer than I think appropriate.
Just needed to vent. I hope she doesn't pull this same stunt with x-mas, but that too is probably a forgone conclusion.
So rude and hurtful
Maybe you could get your DH to make the rule, you are only invited if we bring you and if you say you are going to come, no cancellations. I am not sure what you could do if she doesn't follow these rules, but at least you will be defining what is/is not acceptable behavior. You could also make her feel bad by saying, there are only a certain number of times you will get to even see your dad or grandmother - its true!
My SD lives far away so we don't get these opportunities but I have no doubt that would happen if we were closer. Hopefully we can help the world by teaching the kids some manners!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Far TOO common, I'm afraid
The three skids ESPECIALLY SD10 always wants to know IF she's thinking of coming (usually this is b/c the girhippo is going to some event where she can't drag SD along) WHAT we are doing for FUN!!! I HATE that! A child and young adult should come over to SPEND TIME with the NCP no matter WHAT that entails, whether it be disneyland or tearing off old siding; the goal is not to have fun fun FUN!
My BF says "it's just her being a kid" Well obviously this behaviour continues far beyond "kid" and into teenage and young adult!
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