I'm just wondering if you have the same problems?
we see him only a few times a year.he is going to be 11.and this has been going on for almost 6 years. My DH hardley talks about the seperation and what a screwed deal he got.He almost seems like he accepts it well.( But he is the kind of person that just figures "as long as SS is healthy and his step dad is good to him thats all that matters) anyways, when he is here its like he's never left. he seems happy,he transitions well, he is in love with his dad. its like we see him everyother weekend not a few times a year, my question is, when he goes back home we are like dirt? he won't return calls.very very seldom does he call DH, his conversations are short and sweet. I don't get it? He is almost 11.I left him a VM and a text on his cell and he never returned eather one.
(I though MAYBE,the BM got rid of those, but my DH who happens to be one of those men that jumps when she says jump,thinks that SS just didn't get them because his phone was off? but even if the phone is off won't those messages still go threw?) anyways i'm just wondering why he is like this? my DH calls twice a week EVERY week,isn't he old enough to return calls and start calling out of the blue on his own?
SS has his own cell phone. my DH does all the calling that I think SS feels like he doesn't need to.
Kids are thoughtless
SD stb13 is the same way. I honestly think it just doesn't occur to her to call her father. She loves him, but I suspect he's turning into an "extra dad" and a source of money and things, because she has a "real family" and stability now. I suspect BM would just as soon have DH drop out of sight if he would keep sending the CS check and fund college.
I doubt your SS is a bad or mean kid, he's just thoughtless. It wasn't until I got married with a tween SD that I realized what a thoughtless, selfish, rude, snot I was to my mother - 14-21 years later. DH has been disengaging on the daddy front. SD is fed, clothed, loved, and stable, and as long as she's happy, he'll be there for her, but he's willing to be in the background. I suspect they'll have a fairly cool relationship as adults, unlike he and his mom, but he's okay with that.
~Trish
We pretty much have the
We pretty much have the exact situation. SS never calls on his own, or rarely (like if something big happens) and he is 11. My husband calls him once a week & always tells him he can call too if there's ever anything he wants to talk about. But he doesn't. SS doesn't like to talk on the phone. They are 5 minute conversations once a week. But thats fine by me! I think I'd puke if it was anymore than that, but thats a whole different story. I think its just because they are boys, they don't like to talk on the phone, and they get wrapped up in their own daily lives, I guess. I think its fairly common.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
Same here...
SD9 lives out of state. When she's here it's "I miss you when I'm not with you Daddy" and "I promise I'll call" etc.... last visit, she promised to call when she got home just to let DH know she got home ok. No call. No call on Father's Day. No call on his birthday. Nothing. Even though he reminded her and asked her to call those days and she promised she would. And when asked why she didn't call she always tells him "I forgot", and it always crushes him to hear just how forgettable he is to her. But she'll remember to call when there's a new video game or a new Webkinz that she wants. Like your SS, she has her own cellphone, so there's no excuse. I've even played the bad guy, and explained to her just how sad her Father gets when she constantly forgets him. She'll cry and promise to call him, and tell him she's sorry, but it goes right back to the same old thing once she leaves. I don't know what else to try.
I wish....
Oh gosh, I wish my step daughter "lived out of state"....Her mom bailed out when she was 4 and she has been under our roof exclusivly since them and she is now 12...DH's is army and I have kept his little snot with me for two deployments...Only to have her stab me in the back when he gets home...Currently, we live in Germany and she is here with us...I would give my left arm to not have to look at her face and put up with her evil garbage every single day for the past 9 and a half years.
Post new comment