Step Talk

I get this sinking feeling at least 2 days before I know a visit is going to happen. I know there are things that could make this better like counseling for the whole family, but since I've never been able to convince BF to go, I'm stuck with the dreaded sinking feeling before and during SD's visit and usually a fight with BF after the visit.

I haven't found anything that makes the feeling better, but knowing I'm not alone in feeling this way gets me through. Hang in there.

I feel the same too - I always dread the weeknight visitations and EOW!!

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

I used to have that feeling as we had SS EOW-it was sad because DH was soooo excited to have him and I was not.

We have him full time and he is 16 now-not much different as he is not raised in a way I would ever raise him and I really have no say-just support DH -2 years and counting......

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

Neither BM nor BF stick to the visitation schedule. He has an "open door 24/7 policy" in other words, anytime they feel like dropping in on 2 seconds notice, that's alright with him (it's not now nor has it ever been alright with me; but that is of no concern to anyone).

Lately BF has had a big falling out with oldest SS12 (since he worships at the feet of his "new daddy") and SD10 who was the "problem princess"

Now only "Junior" SS stb 6 comes over from time to time and then BF has to call to get "permission." BF informed me that he doesn't know if he has to work Saturday or not and that he is going to call the BM today to see if Junior "plans" to come over! UGH!! Just work on Saturdays from now on already; it's not like we don't need the money with all the remodeling we're doing.

I just hope against all hope that he will just give up on visitations until the skids get old enough to realize there are two sides to every story!! They are TOTALLY brined in PAS!!

I get a yucky feeling inside (one of extreme distaste and displeasure) everytime the rude and spoiled "Junior" comes to visit. I just keep hearing "wretching" sounds in my head every time Junior comes over like I want to toss my cookies!

I hear an incessant chorus of "Daaaad - I want this and Daaaaad I want that and Daaaad - this is what I did today and Daaad why does your house suck?" It's enough to make me want to jump off the roof of my house!!I hate, hate, hate when they are over!!

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

And then its a annoying sound. with a seriously squeaking voice. Daddyyy daddyy!!! OMG i cant take it anymore and if BF is talking to someone and SD is trying to get his attention she will say Daddy until he responds. Im trying to enforce the rule of hes talking to someone else say excuse me or wait. But its not working. OMG i want to yank my hair!

who hadn't been over since July 4th:

"Daaad, why don't you have a tv in every room like at moms?"

"My stepdad is REALLY GREAT!!! He has so much more movies and video games than you guys!!"

Sidenote: SS12 is failing all his really important subjects!

Junior to Crayon: "where's dad, where's dad, where's dad, where's dad, where's dad, where's dad, where's dad, where's dad, where's dad, where's dad, where's dad, where's dad?"

Junior to BF: "Dad, i want you to buy me this. dad, i want you to buy me this. dad, i want you to buy me this. dad, i want you to buy me this. dad, why not? dad, why not? dad, why not? dad, why not? dad, but i want it. dad, but i want it. dad,but i want it. dad, but i want it. dad, I don't like that food, it's yucky!! dad, I don't like that food, it's yucky!! dad, Whaat? dad,Whaat? dad, Whaat? dad, Whaat? Whaat? Whaat? Whaat? dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, NO-WUUUUH!? dad, NO-WUUUUH!? dad, dad, NO-WUUUUH!? dad, NO-WUUUUH!? dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad,

u crack me up! i love reading ur posts!

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

OMG - I hear the same thing and from a 13 year old no less. "Daaad you need to buy me a trampoline, daaad you need to buy me a new phone, daaaad you need to get up to get me a bowl of cereal because I'm too lazy to get it myself, daaaaad I want, I want, I want, I want."

Oh and the continuous stream of "Daaaads" until he responds is enough to make you want to scream!!!

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

One time SD did it in a store. All she kept saying was daddy. If you saw her xmas list you guys would laugh your asses off!!! She want an IPHONE and ITOUCH everything that is over 200$. I told her if we dont have it your not getting it either. and even if we did those are too extreme for a 9 Year old.

Crayon, you crack me up. Just reading your take on the SK situation makes me feel better. If we lived in the same state, I'd buy you a beer! I've felt for SO long that I was the only one that felt or thought this way. I know some on the site think we spend too much time venting, but honestly just knowing I can be brutally honest(yup- that why I came up with that screen name) with all of you about how I feel and how much this situation sucks, really gets me through. I don't necessary control the things that would make my life better, but this site get me through and for right now, that's as good as it gets. 2.5 years and counting here.

You get the official award for "funniest poster"!
That "dad dad dad dad dad" was off the charts!
You should be doing stand-up comedy! YOU ROCK

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

we'll cry!

Isn't that the f***** truth!!

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

I know how you feel. The sad thing is that I used to really genuinely like my sd... ALOT. Now things are so strained that it wears me out when she is at our home. I really didn't want it to be that way. Sadly, I also think that my dh is a large part of why it all went this way. He also is kinda blind when it comes to his daughter and it has made feel resentfull towards her. Then I feel like an ass because I am supposed to be the adult.

I am dreading christmas this year.

I think that it is most important for you and your dh to get on the same page. However, this is so tough when you do not share kids. Heck, it's tough when you do share kids!!!

Your instinct as a bio-parent is to protect your child. So when the s-mom or s-dad looks at everything through unbiased glasses without the princess/prince filter, they see the good as well as the bad and when they s-parent wants to help and points out what they feel is the obvious, or God forbid, acts like a parent, they don't get why the bio parent gets defensive. The only other person that sees things like the dh/bm is the dh/bm, putting the s-parent in a very disconnected place because they are now the bad guy and want only to persecute the innocent, blameless skids. And if the sm has bios of her own it just makes it harder.

Geez, now I have depressed myself... I think I will read Crayons post again so that I can get a good giggle. Dad, dad, dad, dad...

I do not post much. But I always read crayons posts. MOstly because she is real, honest and funny. She seems to have alot of hardships but hangs in. God help her! Cra I love ya!