Step Talk

It is in our MSA that he would pay me on or before Dec 1, 2008 $XXXX which is half of his 401K at the time of our separation. He had called me to tell me that our government stimulus check had finally arrived (the 1st one was lost or something) and we needed to get together to sign the check so he could give me my half. Then he informs me that he will not be paying me my half of the 401K because he had been spending it to pay the people that were fixing up our house that we are trying to sell. I already know that with the real estate market being as it is that I am not going to get the $xx,xxx that was my inheritance money that he used to pay off some of our mortgage. CA law states I get that back. Well, we were married for 17 years and he already talked me into less family support money than CA laws stated I am entitled to for our three kids. Stupidly I agreed because we were moving to a state with a lower cost of living. He had a fit and said he would fight my asking for spousal support or any temporary support so I could get my skills back up and go back to school or something so I am valuable to the workplace again. Anyway we have 50/50 custody of the kids. I have a part time job but I also homeschool our three children and for those 17 years I stayed home and raised them and taught them and let my workplace skills go. He says that I should consider those 17 years a gift and that I am not entitled to anything, yet he expects me to pay for my half of our debts that we accumulated in our marriage. He still wants me to home educate our children which means I really cannot get anything other than a part time job and that doesn't pay very well. I honestly would not have agreed to the lower Family Support payment had I known that he was not planning to honor our MSA and give me my share of the retirement fund and my inheritance money back.

I really don't know what to do. Up until this point, we were doing our best to be amicable but I do not see this as him being amicable anymore. I am pretty sure his GF is causing all this crap because her name keeps popping up in conversations that are supposed to be about he and I only. I had asked him if he would be willing to kick up the family support only temporary until he paid me what he owes me from his 401K and he was livid. This is a man that makes a six-figure income while living in a state with a low cost of living. He told me he cannot afford to up the family support. He wants to just not pay me my part of the 401K and just say I don't have to pay that much of our debt. While that could help it isn't quite the same as having that money in my hands. I was going to use it to pay for my tuition for school and on paying off debts from the marriage.

He is agreeable to talking with our attorney and seeing what our options are but he told me he didn't think it would change anything and our talking to the attorney isn't going to magically make money appear in his 401K.

What would you do?