Step Talk

Crayon,

In our case the visitation and support rules in force in the county with jurisdiction over my SS's Custody/Support/Visitation case is very clear. Regardless of age (as long as they are covered by a court order governing an minor child) kids cannot decide where and who they live with and they cannot decide when and whether or not to visit the NC parent.

Who gave the SD's the choice on when or whether they visit?

Best regards,

BF DID!!!! I warned him early on when BM started mucking around with the schedule and "letting them choose" to exercise his parental rights spelled out in the DD and hold BM in contempt!!! (she's been in contempt probably hundreds of times over the last 4 years!! Do you think he would listen??!! And that was 4 years ago. He STILL maintains that he "did the right thing" by not being "one of those dads" who "force their children" to do visitation!!!!! SIGH!!!

Oh my gosh....your bf (and Little Lord Fauntleroy's mother) should see this as a wake-up call that the other kids are trying to shove the youngest one out the door because they can't stand his behavior. They need to do something about it!

Unfortunately if you give in just a little, as your bf did, you'll get walked all over and the skids and BM will take advantage.

that the oldest two are no better behaved. BUT we believe that BM has them both on focasyn now. We knew about the oldest one being given focasyn the MOMENT BM and BF broke up. SD stb 10 is blinking incessantly and exhibiting other side effects of being given ADHD medicine.

In a way I'm relieved that the older ones are not coming over and I know that sounds awful but they were JUST AS BAD and DESTRUCTIVE as youngest SS because they have NEVER BEEN DISCIPLINED or TAUGHT RIGHT FROM WRONG. They have NO idea what acceptable behaviour is either.

I'm from the old school of diet and discipline will resolve 95% of "ADHD" issues. Of course neither BF or BM believe in the "diet and discipline" approach. My bioson (and I was a divorcee and TRUE single parent without CS) was often told by adults that he was "hyper" and "overactive" (which today is called ADHD)

Through proper diet, rest and training/discipline, he is now the most laid back kid (aged 21) you'd ever want to meet however he does burn off steam competing in tae kwon do events.

the dastardly scheme? Surely olders skids didn't call Pops up and admit it?

I remain, the world's most evil stepmom; ask anyone.

"Skippy and Sally told me to call you and ask you if I can come over and to pick me up!!!"

Nothing like point blank honesty!

Is your BF going to allow CHILDREN to dictate this going forward? Are you?

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

BF is actually ANGRY at older skids for doing this, but guess what? He has only himself to blame for allowing BM to contrive this chaotic visitation "not-a-schedule!"

Plus it reinforces the fact that NONE of the skids wants to come to our house because we actually do real chores, etc. and not just fun, FUN FUN 24/7 like at BM's house. She has to constantly entertain them, take them to entertaining places, or sit them in front of some entertaining video game/tv show!!!

You are right, he shouldn't be angry at the kids...he has himself and their mother to blame. Schedules are great for kids, especially kids like these who have little or no structure in their lives.

It seems like your bf and his ex live in fear of the wonderful motto that 5teensathome has as her signature line.