As many of you know- J's asked me to move out.
Suddenly I have to buy a bed, (found a decent one on craigslist,) and basic functionable items to get me and my daughter through until I can afford otherwise.
I dropped a week of lost pay in moving. (Setting up his house since he couldnt take the time off- countless hours cleaning BY HAND to remove the crap the was left behind.) I'm out a week of pay and I have to try to buy everything and I'm mega stressed.
He said he'd help where he could, (which is surprisingly.. nowhere,) 
and I'm realizing how angry and lucky I am.
He refused to take a day off to help me move, or to clean my place, (even though I took off a week.) Yet he wants to remain 'together' while he sorts his shit out. I offered in the beginning to go to couples counseling, but since he declined and refused- I wrote him off. Last night he informed me that if his choice was losing me or going to counseling, he'd go- without a doubt. (I told him to go ahead and schedule- because I knew he wouldn't.)
I'm frustrated, and angry. I have a 3 year old little girl, (from a prior relationship,) who adores him, and I love his SD, very, very much. However- the financial stress and moving again is taking it's toll. I've already packed up EVERYTHING I bought from the house. (Only- I'm mad because we donated SO MUCH STUFF that I could have used for my new place.) I'm out so much, and financially- I'm a wreck.
He asked last night if I still wanted to go to his best friend's wedding with him this weekend. I said, 'probably not.' He started crying about how he wants to make this work. I asked him to pay me for a few lost days- (he said no. He cant afford that with Child support and his own house bills.) -I say he should have thought of that before.
We found a great townhouse- and fingers crossed- I move next friday. I've already told him I don't want to be there when he tells his daughter, and I was prepared to let him handle the questions. (I thought it would be easier for her to talk to her dad about it and I wouldn't have to field the inevitable questions.)
I guess I have no questions- I know what I have to do, (staying isn't an option. I'm not willing to put my toddler in a warzone, and I don't want to claim a mortgage that I wasn't added to, yet.) I kept the ring and plan on selling it, and he's furious about that... but.
I wish it all wasn't so damn hard. Seeing him cry is awful- but- when he's telling me he can't find a way to help the woman he pushed out.. it tells me all I need to know.
Unbelievable!
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
This is terrible for you-what a mess-as to his thought process-sounds like he doesn't have one!
No thought process there
but very telling; SELFISHNESS is the main theme here ON HIS PART. Pretty typical. You come dead last. You're lucky to be moving on. I"m still stuck. The love is conditional on me sucking up to BM's schedule and skids. Not a good scene! Good luck and count your blessings!
maybe helpful??
I'm sorry to hear that you have to move, and everything that you are going thru. I wanted to let you know about a site I found online, called "freecycle.com", everything is donated, and it's all free! All you have to do is go pick up the item if your the one who gets it. It helped me alot when I needed stuff when I moved, alot of it was pretty decent . And I was able to donate things I did not want, so it was good both ways. Thought it might be useful to you. I hope things get better."~waiting on the world to change~"
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