Step Talk

You have no money budgeted for such frivolous and non-essential items as toothpaste because the CS has drained every drop of money you have.

you're driving a 1992 Dodge Caravan for the sole purpose of transporting skids.

You pull up in said Caravan right behind BM's 2008 Mercedes SLR

your skid looks you right in the eye and says "well, we were here first, so it's not fair that the new baby gets so much stuff!""~waiting on the world to change~"

If you and your DH are fighting over a girl less than half his age.....And it's NOT his mistress!!!"~waiting on the world to change~"

if the two 12 packs of soda you bought on Friday are gone on Sunday...

if your entire house and daily routine get turned upside down EOW...

if you have another woman calling your husband on a regular basis & you can't do anything about it...

You might be a stepmom!

"special" uber-high priced overly processed frozen meals with no less than 473 items on the ingredients list like "kids kuisine" and "lunchables". . .stuff that you wouldn't feed to the most disagreeable, rabid web-footed bio Gila Monster on earth. . .but in this case you'll have to make an exception.

How's THAT for a run on sentence?

sickenly sweet "cutsie" voice when talking on his cell phone (that you've paid for) and he's not talking to YOU!

every other weekend and two weeks out of the summer you are worried that you are going to become a xanax addict!!

by members of your husband's family that you are not his "first" anything...wife, or mother of his children...you might be a stepmom...

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

someone who declares themselves an adult at age 15, living the lifestyle of one, and gets away with it because their mom won't discipline because she needs the child support check, while you were forced to move far away to survive or even work . . . you may be a step-parent!

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

If your weekend plans are changed and you have no idea about it until you over hear a conversation between BF and BM.

Can not remember your first christmas together, but can remember every round trip plane ticket at Christmas you bought.
Split the cost of Christmas presents, then have to stare at the BM diamond tennis bracelet present.
Never go on vacation, but take the Sk so the BM can fly to Jamaica.

from boy scout camp you discover 40% of the clothing are items you and DH bought, were taken to BM’s house and never returned…until AFTER boy scout camp

~BettyRay
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"PROBLEMS ARE ONLY OPPORTUNITIES IN WORK CLOTHES."
-Henry Kaiser

For fear of the reaction from a child who, had it been "your own," you would have grounded for a month. But, since you are not "the parent," instead the child's negative behavior was rewarded with a shopping trip.

that you have the skid(s) dreading coming home when it's usually the best part of your day.

you were a single teen Mom (16) who went on to college, got a BS (with honors), an MBA (with honors), passed the CPA exam and make more money than the SpermDonor can possibly imagine. Married a graduate degreed engineering professional (that would be me )who treats your son as his own and has been the real Dad for more than 14 years (Skid is now 16) ........ all while SpermDad went on to have three more out of wedlock spawn (he has four out of wedlock with three different mothers, my SS is the oldest), married a 16yo so he would not be put in jail as a statutory rapist, lives in a house owned by his parents and pays no rent, pays no CS (Mommy pays it), and his youngest three spawn live with his Mother all at no expense to him..... and he is a licensed plumber who could actually make a decent living if he would get off of his ass and work full time ........ all because SpermDad and SpermGrandMa don't have enough resources to care for the result of his effort to impregnate every available womb in North America.

Welcome to the world that generates so many of us EVIL StepParents who willingly give up much of our time, our marriages and ourselves to care for Skids that may or may not appreciate it while our Bio-Counterparts party and do whatever they want when ever they want then bitch because they either pay to much in CS or do not get enough in CS to do even more at the expense of their kids.

Hmmmmmmm! Yep, we are definitely EVIL stepparents.

Best regards,

everytime BF/DH's cell phone rings

200 points if it is a call from the overindulged ultra-high maintenance skid(s) wanting to come over on an unscheduled weekend (non EOW)

300 points if your BF/DH caves and says "yessssss!!"

is not solely between u and ur husband, but rather involves the skids and how they will react, how bm will react, who will be involved in the birth, and whether or not u have money left after all the CS to even afford the kid in the first place.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

There is a crazed woman out there that needs therapy to deal with your mere existence. Because of her mental incapabilities she tries to turn the kids that she birthed, but that you have raised against you. Was actually successful at first, until the kids started growing up. Good thing the kids have lived in a stable and loving environment and can now see BS for mere BS. Now all of the hate that she has spewed for years actually reflects on her negatively because you don't bite or feed into the nonsense anymore. So, now HER/YOUR kids look at her with pity more than adoration unless she is buying them off.

Step Mother's Motto this week is:

You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.

every other friday!

Your SO's phone can ring 5 times in 5 minutes, and somehow the caller (BM) STILL has more to say, and he will answer it, any time, day or night.

from my SD, the reason we're going through it all....:
o, btw, my dad and *northernsiren* are the best family a girl(and boy) could ever hope for. Thank you for helpping me through these hard times.

at least it is the BM calling and not the skids. With BF, BM doesn't talk to him, just has the skids act as messenger and 9 times out of 10 they get the message wrong. It becomes a big game. Oldest skids have "opted out" of visitation with permission of BM and BF. Now older skids want to get rid of youngest brother by asking to have BF pick him up:

ring ring

youngest skid: When are you gonna pick me up?
BF: Is your mom there? Put your mom on the phone
skid: (garbled phone noises)
skid: D-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-D!
BF: Where's your mother?
(Oldest skid now gets on the phone)
oldest skid: Dad when are you gonna pick up Junior?
BF: I hadn't planned on it; why doesn't your mom drop him off; where is your mom anyway?
oldest skid: She's out doing community chorus (wild screams from youngest two skids in the background that can be heard across my house)
BF: Where's (insert name of half man half sloth that BM just married)?
oldest skid: he went to the store for moose tracks ice cream and doritos; we're going to watch a spongebob squarepants marathon.
BF: So all three of you are home alone (just turned SS12, SD stb 10 and SS stb 6 screaming like banchies in the background; all three about 3-4 years behind mentally)
BF: What would you do if the stove caught on fire?
oldest skid: pour water on it??!!

this conversation ACTUALLY took place a year ago when the skids were actually a year younger!
This is the way skids live with their CHILD PROTECTIVE WORKER BM!!!

I don't know whether to laugh or cry or pour some Bailey's in my morning coffee...

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis