Step Talk

confused about the title seemingly not matching the content of the post LOL

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

I can see why this is confusing to you Crayon Ha!-1st part of blog is missing-I have Zippy now (dumped by bio-mom -surprise total custody on us!) and above is actually history of my bio son (karmic justice for MY inept 1st time parenting??)-what I am trying to say is that Crayon you are perfectly correct-GET INVOLVED IN YOUR PARENTING-I had to learn that biologically and now as a stepparent-IT IS NOT CUTE WHEN JUNIOR IS OUT OF CONTROL DUE TO PARENTAL GUILT-

Mine had a happy ending -someone upstairs loves me!!

anyway thanks for patience-

that Zippy is behaving. I have had several fights with BF over this and he does NOT want me "parenting" Junior. I'll give you an example. Junior kept asking me the same question over and over and over and over and over again. Probably about 6 times within a 15 minute period. Similar to "are we there yet? are we there yet?" which I do not tolerate. My parents set me and my sister straight on that one and I, in turn, would not tolerate that from my bio kids.

I said to Junior "please do not ask me that question again; I will LET YOU KNOW when we can do XYZ"

WELL!! You would have thought the world had come to an end. He ran back to daddy who started rubbing his back to console him from mean old crayon!!

In later conversation about this episode with BF (after Junior went back to BM's house) BF told me that he "thought I was being an ASS to Junior" because I had told him not to ask the same question over and over again. BF simply answers his question EVERY SINGLE TIME which I feel is CATERING to Junior "no son, not yet" "no son, not yet" "no son, not yet" "no son, not yet"

I feel that this reinforces the child's perception that HE/SHE is in charge and that the parent's activities are 2nd in importance to the child's.

Junior also has a VERY bad habit of always replying with "WHAT?" after you tell him something. BF ALWAYS complies by repeating what he says. I refuse to do this. There is NOTHING wrong with Junior's hearing. He can hear "let's go get a PS/2 game" from 5 miles away.

Short of saying "Loser says what" after i tell Junior something (believe me I've restrained myself from doing so) I told Junior that he has a bad habit of saying "what?" after you talk to him and that he should "clean out his ears" as I was often told by my parents.

I simply did not allow this type of behaviour from either one PERIOD.

AND i was a REAL single parent (not like our BM who has boatloads of CS from BF and gone on dating sprees until she found her match made in heaven; half man, half sloth and got remarried)

I stuck to the rules (visitation), set boundaries and goals for my bio kids, did not engage in PA although 2nd hubby tried this on my bio son to which i told bio son "when daddy starts talking about those things, just say: those are adult things and i'd rather just spend time with you and talk about kid things"

AND IT WORKED!!! Of course being the bright bulbs that skids are, they totally fell for all the PAS and indoctrination dealt by the BM. Seems my bio kids saw past all that.

I received no child support and actually SUPPORTED MYSELF AND MY TWO CHILDREN!!! Imagine THAT!!! And my bio kids are NOT axe murderers!!!

Seems everytime i bring something up in the conversation (after BF does) about Junior or Skippy or Sally and some irreprehensible behaviour, BF feels obligated to grasp at straws and bring out something he didn't like in my bioson who lived with us for about 2 months after BF moved in FOUR FRIGGIN' YEARS AGO!!!; plus he was never around with school and work to get on BF's nerves, so NO COMPARISON!!! It's like comparing apples and dump trucks!!!