So far my BF has not paid BM any child support. They do not have a formal agreement or a court order. BM is resistint all efforts by BF is figure it out. It's her way or no way. BF offered to pay her $200 a month until things were worked out and she refused. They went to mediation once and the mediator even asked her why she did not take the $200 and she did not really have a good reason. BM complains about how expensive baby is but still goes on trips every few months, buys expensive cars, claims to spend $200 a month on diapers,pays for daycare when she is on vacation and pays rent/utilities for 2 houses. Baby comes to us dirty in ill fitting clothes and sometimes not dressed for the weather. We do not ask BM to provide anything while he is in BF's care except breast milk when she was supposedly exclusively nursing which ended when he was 6 months old. Even then she would give us like an ounce for 4 hours for a 5 month old. Yeah, like that would satisfy him for half an hour.
BF does provides everything when baby is here like he should - formula, baby food, wipes, diapers, clothes, bath supplies, toys, crib, bedding, car seat (just got a new one that should last until he is out of a car seat, it turns into a booster seat), stroller, high chair, bouncy seat, meds, diaper cream, bibs, bottles, pacifiers, etc. So to say BF does not support his child is incorrect. We also do almost all the driving so that includes the cost of gas, insurance, and maintenance for the vehicle baby it transported in. Before BM allowed BF to have baby overnight, he spend almost $100 every Sunday to see his son - gas to get there and back, food for the trip for the 2 of us, food for baby, clothes, diapers, etc, for baby for a 4 hour visit. We even baby proofed the house before the first overnight visit just to be on the safest side of caution. that also cost some bank to do.
So is this in anyone's opinion considered a form of child support?
Smurfy
do you ever get to the cities. I have boy baby clothes 9mo & up. I also have a snow suit ( I think two) if you are interested. I gave most of my son's clothes up to 9 months to a woman at church who fosters drug babies. She had a little guy who was born addicted to meth who I thought deserved to have some nice clothes to wear.
If your interested maybe we could hook up & I could give you guys some stuff.
Watch your back
As the BM could try to go "retroactive" Hopefully your BF has a good attorney. THIS IS ESSENTIAL. In NYS that does not count "against" child support so to speak. BF is still expected to provide for skids during visitation with all the amenities, extra bedrooms, utility bills, food bills, entertainment expenses, gas driving to pick up and drop off skids (used to be 45 minutes one way) take them to the boatloads of activities that BM signs them up for on our time without asking us, etc. etc. By the time BF is done paying CS, he has minimum wage left, i kid you not! She takes 50+% of his wages every week!
If it were not for my income, BF would be in a homeless shelter; literally!
$200.00/mo for diapers! That is a load of crap! .. literally
Is the kid human or a baby elephant? That is a bunch of diapers for one month. At least from what I recollect from my diaper changing years. Our kid is now 16 so it has been a while.
Not accepting CS when offered may very well be considered by the court as acceptance which could be interpreted by the court as not applying retroactively. When our Bio-Dad declined several attempts to deliver unpaid medical expenses and subpoenas from the court the Judge in our case ruled that declining acceptance is the same as acceptance legally speaking and applied the judgement retroactively. In a situation where Bio-Mom refuses CS it very well may be ruled that she waives rights to retroactive support.
But, as Crayon indicated. GET A VERY GOOD ATTORNEY!
Do not engage just any attorney. Make sure that they understand very specifically what you expect them to provide for you as far as desired outcome. In our situation any time an attorney told us that we should "work it out with the bio-dad" we fired them and found another attorney. If it has been possible to "work it out" with bio-dad we would have. Heaven knows we have tried.
The guy we settled with and who turned out to be great asked us four questions when we first met with him.
1. What do you expect to accomplish with this action?
2. How important is it to you?
3. How much are you willing to spend to make this happen?
4. Are you doing this for the kid or to punish bio-dad?
He asks us the same four questions every time we use him to flog the courts and the Bio-Dad in support of my SS's best interests. If we are looking for something that he either cannot deliver or thinks is unreasonable he tells us and then presents the nearest alternative that he thinks is reasonable and obtainable. Though we have never come out of Family Court with feeling of satisfaction we have always gotten pretty much what we were shooting for.
If your DH does not stand up for his rights as a Dad, for the best interest of his kid and for retention of as much of his income as possible now, it will only get worse over time.
All IMHO of course.
Good luck and best regards,
you are so right
$200 for diapers maybe for twins or triplets. Hopefully since she refused CS several times and we have the emails to prove the judge will rule in favor of no arrears. That would serve BM right for crying poor and taking trips, buying expensive cars, etc.
Its nice to gets a man's opinion!
Post new comment