Step Talk

we have the opposite problem, just found out SD's pictures were taken last week, and it wasn't mentioned to us at all, so we weren't able to order any. SD's grandparents and mother ordered, but not us. If we're lucky SD will bring us a wallet, if her mom lets her have one.

So unfair!

from my SD, the reason we're going through it all....:
o, btw, my dad and *northernsiren* are the best family a girl(and boy) could ever hope for. Thank you for helpping me through these hard times.

That's how it goes here. We were lucky enough that we could order pictures over the internet from the school photographer. We told Bm that she could order some if she wanted. We got ours already but Bm hasn't even ordered hers yet, if she even will.

It's always a touchy subject no matter how you do it. However, it is much, much worse if the custodial parent isn't reasonable. In our case we are the custodial parent. Bm will get whatever it is she paid for, even if ss brings them to our house.

Worse case scenerio is you could take them to a photographer and get pictures taken instead of the school pictures. That's what we used to do when Bm had primary custody. She would always forget about school pictures and have ss dressed really crappy. So for a few years we just had our own pictures taken. Then Bm has NO say in it.

Your Bm sounds like a piece of work.

Dawn

You should find out the company that took the pictures and then see if you can order some extra prints for yourself.

This has been an ongoing sore subject with me as well, Rissa. And it hasn't changed, unfortunately, in over 5 LONG years.

Every year, the photo slip comes home for pictures and it goes directly to dad. And of course, dad fills it out and pays. And of course, when the pictures come home, the kids always sheepishly ask (can we take some home for BMs house?) And of course, DH concedes and I fume! Or better yet, they go to BMs first and WE get the leftovers (my personal favorite). And unfortunately, the school is too busy with other things to worry about trivial problems like this.

So why do I fume? Because DH pays for EVERYTHING! School tuition (private school x/3.) School uniforms. All activities and items associated with activities (and there are A LOT of activities with these girls). School supplies at the beginning of the year. Beauty supplies. Cell phones. Cars when they turn 16. College tuition when they turn 18. Get the picture? Plus CS in the amount of over $4200/month for 3 girls. Now reduced to a mere $3600/month for 2 girls.

And BM has the NERVE to complain that she has NO MONEY! She can't buy them anything. "Go ask your father" is her mantra. She even nickel-and-dimes DH for $8 milk money for the youngest's school lunch!

Oh yeah- she doesn't work either! And she only has the girls 50% of the time. But she managed to punch out another 'puppy' with her new miscreant husband. But he doesn't make that much money. Why should he have to? He's livin large off BMs CS!!!

Last year, when the pictures actually made it to our house, youngest SD gave them to me & DH. A few weeks later, BM told youngest SD to ask us for a few pictures so she could hand them out to her relatives at a party she was having that day. She didn't call DH to ask directly- but used SD as the "messenger". Typical.

Trying to be nice, DH and I said, "OK, we have a few extra" and gave SD the ones we had. A few minutes later she came back in all nervous,
"Mommy wants to know why you don't have any bigger ones to give her?"

DH and I were livid. Apparently not only was our offer of FREE pictures not good enough for her, but she was now CRITICIZING the gracious donation we were giving her.

DH took all the pictures back from SD and told her that if mommy wanted ANY pictures, she could call and ask him directly.

She never did. Sometimes you just can't even TRY to be nice to some people.

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

The skids spend every other week with us. They will be with us on picture day and already have special outfits to wear. I know that when the pictures come in they give them to the kids at school to take home. I do not want those pics going to the BM's house if they are with her the week the pics come in.

WHY on earth do you pay so much child support?? Especially if the skids are with you half the time. That just seems so wrong.

One year we ordered a packet for each child. Our packets came to our house via the bm's.. sd's package was missing 4 wallets.. She apparently hadnt ordered the right amount for sd, and decided to help herself to ours.

We now get the bare minimum pic packet.

We have had this issue EVERY year. It has ranged from splitting pictures/cost and not getting even number of pictures as BM, not being told about pictures b/c BM didn't want to order them, and my favorite last year specifically talking the the photographer and having him take two pictures one for us and one for BM. We asked the teacher to hold them and we would pick up our package on our weekend instead of sending them home w/ SD. Teachers have so much on their mind and of course ours got sent home with SD. The funning thing is SD was smiling in one picture and not the other. Guess which one we got....not smiling. BUT BM was so kind to give us a 5x7 of the smiling pose. I called the company directly that took the pictures and they were nice enough to re-print the pictures that where good and I sent the other ones back and they didn't even charge me extra and mailed them directly to us. This year we decided to skip the headache and had her pictures done at Walmart last weekend. They had a special for $4.99 for 30 pictures. It beats $35 just so we can get an 8x10 and a couple of wallets for DH and to give to close family. Check into it. We did them just like school pictures from the waist up and they looked really good. She will never even know the difference when she gets older. Anything to make my life easier!!

and BF (namely me) gets roped into paying for every photo opportunity available b/c BM signs them up for a different sport/activity every 2 weeks. As sure as you're born, there is a photo opp at the end of the month and invariably, BM makes sure that it is sprung on us at the last minute when we are supposed to be transporting skids to and from games. BM and BF refuse to stick to a set schedule; it's basically whenever it is convenient for BM and when she feels like free babysitting which usually falls on some "you-need-to-pay-for" event.

Last time we didn't even get the measly photo that we paid for! I reminded BF of this so we don't get stuck paying every month for photos we just stuff into a drawer anyway.

I mean come on! This is simply a money grab by photographers to capitilize on all the guilt parents out there! No one needs to take "professional" photos of their kids every 2-4 weeks!

This is what we have done for the past 3 years and it has turned out to be cheaper and better than school pics....

We bought a membership to JC Penny portrait studio. We do the kids pics there now every year at least twice. The membership last 2 years and cost about $40 bucks but when we take pics they are only $3/sheet and no sitting fee. After initial visit where we paid the extra $40 to be a member....runs us about $20-60 per time we go depending on how many poses/sheets we buy and how many specialty shots we get(black and white, etc).

BM gets one framed pic of the kids together for mother's day, my idea and i started this tradition. The kids pics always turn out better when I take them to the studio - he he, she can not get them to stay still. If she wants pics of her own then she can use the CS and order from school or whatever. We like our pics better than the schools anyway and we got alot more options. Did the same thing with baseball pics, just went to JC Penny's with the kids in uniform and with their gloves/bats. Only ordered team pic, took our own. Same thing with Halloween costunes, etc.

We bought a membership at JC Penny portrait studio.

Membership cost $40 but is good for 2 years, no sitting fees and $3/sheet (so 1 8*10 =$3, 2 5*7s= $3, 18 wallets = $3 and so on).

We can get the kids pics taken at anytime and spend only about $40 bucks. We even dress them in their baseball uniforms and take them to JC Penny's for pictures instead of buying the little leagues (only had to buy team pic). It is actually much cheaper than buying from the school and we have alot more control and options.

BM gets one framed 8*10 of both kids together for mother's day (a tradition I started). But is hse wants anything else she can buy it herself.

Doesn't anyone get a school calander? Things like pictures, school programs,days off etc are listed. I am pretty sure you can get the school to send you one or get one off the district web site. As my kids have gotten older I only buy the class photo and year book since they is cheaper and my BF is a photographer so he take better pictures for free.

My ex never asks for any but I do give him and his parents a small one like a wallet. I asked him once and offered if he paid half he could have half the pcitures but he refused and said he would get his own $%^# pictures taken. So I never asked him again. My ex ia an alcholic so he never remembers treating me badly or being rude or if I ask him about stuff regarding our daughter.

Does the CS you and your husband pay go straight to her, or does it go to the Attorney General's office or a CS Office? I'm assuming it does not go directly to her. My heart goes out to you, you must feel so angry and stuck!

Bygones. Move on. Leave it behind. Let go. Make lemonade out of lemons. Walk it off. Laugh instead. Change what you can, accept what you can't.

How many other ways can one say, "Life is too short!"

On top of the CS my FH pays he also pays for all of SD's activities, insurance, uniforms, private school, etc., and of course PICTURES. He is so programmed to where she asks he just pays - of course BM sends them to everyone including his family (cuz she acts like the daughter in law) and he maybe gets one. NICE!