Well, I did tell him to, but he's ok with that.
One - to SD's school. They contacted us about cutting last year, so we felt it was our responsibility to give the teachers/counselors a heads up. SD tends to downward spiral and should she flip out at school, hurt herself, or do anything stupid (like her stunts last year starting a false inappropriate rumor about a male teacher, and holding up a sign to the high school auto shop boys who meet at the middle school offering them BJs) this way the school can help us help her, rather than be in the dark as to her behavioral issues.
Call number two-
To BM.
She has in the past reveled at the cutting b/c SD told her it was all my fault. But now she is getting concerned.
She said to DH,"I think that the current psychologist isn't working out, and agree with taking her to Children's Hosp for a psych eval. Where is this coming from? You and I never did this sort of thing when we were in school!" DH bit his tongue. He actually says he can hear me saying, "DON'T take that BAIT!!!!" when BM is delusional about her own mental health.
She also said she is open to SD getting meds! This is fabulous news. BM is always about over medication of course, BUT...
Has always told SD that people who take psych meds are stupid, incompetent, lazy, crazy, etc. BM has always interfered with SD embracing therapy, but now sounds like she is all for it. Because BM can no longer control SD and with her having BPD as well, it is all about control.
I am most pleased with this turn of events. I think SD has enjoyed attempting to triangulate her parents even before I came into the pic, and even more so since. And if I can ever reach a point where BM would actually talk to me....
SD's little brain would spin. I am still hopeful and will be attempting to try the universal "Secret" method of tossing that one out there. It happens for CG, so maybe the last four years have finally brought us to that point.
Keeping figures crossed over my four leaf clover while rubbing my lucky rabbit's foot 
That is great news!! I am
That is great news!! I am glad that the BM is on board. One less person to "fight" to get SD the help she needs and healthy!
I don't have a rabbit's foot, but I saw one..
at the cabin, I'll try to capture it and we all can pet it !! So far, so good......... I'm anxious about the dr appt. you said thursday?..
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
whew!
I was afraid what you were thinkin' of doing with that poor rabbit!
Petting it would be ok. I'm a magician's granddaughter though and will not tolerate cruelty to any creature that can be pulled from a hat, even in the name of good old fashion New Orleans style superstition.
Speaking of, one of these retreats needs to find it's way to the Big Easy some day!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
I would never harm a wild animal...You know be better
than that!! Now, a fish....(I love fishing) thats different, but I'm not going there with anyone.. Magician hmmm....if he can make things disapear........how about my BM????? How much...
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Well...
Grandpa was a professional magician, puppeteer, clown, and printer (had his own full size press machines in a shop larger than the four room house he built by hand.)
I must get my ADD from him. He never could settle on just one, therefore he didn't do any of them well enough to make anyone disappear
Printing was his bread and butter.
I have some amazing childhood memories I need to get in writing. Wrote a poem on my blog recently about their house, and the "shop" as we called it.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Not to burst your
bubble, but BM probably won't go along with this forever. Hopefully she will understand that her daughter has problems and actually participate in the solution instead of being part of the problem!
I think she will now
I think she is waving off visitation because SD is becoming very aggressively angry all the time and BM is afraid something bad will happen to SD while in her care. She is not happy with SD right now, and has been unusually calm when discussing these issues with DH.
I think it's the fact that BPDs love triangulation. BM triangulated between SD and DH when they were still married to each other. Then between SD/Me/DH fanning that fire every chance she got. And SD was happiest here when BM was our "enemy" before and during the custody case.
I really think they feel most comfortable when it's a "me and you" against "them" mentality. I know a few people like that actually. When they have a "common enemy" they become very good allies, and form a tighter bond. All families do this in crisis actually. Although, when facing a trauma, or attack, "normal" families pull together as a FAMILY unit to fight the threat as a united front, rather than try to triangulate within the family in order to feel aligned with someone.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
PLUS if SD is crazy, then BM is NOT (black and white)
In BM's mind. Hope that one makes sense. I REALLY need to sleep now!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Keeping my fingers crossed as well
ST-
So sad that yet ANOTHER traumatic, emotionally draining event had to occur for your family, but I am very hopeful that this is indeed the catalyst for true movement foreward in SDs treatment.
Each time I read your posts, I just take a deep breath. Truly, I don't know HOW you do it, day in and day out.
I said it once and I'll say it again, you really do go above and beyond the call of what is required of a stepmother.
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
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