I'm extremely frustrated at the kids school. They gave us grief on the first day of school because I didn not have with me a copy of FH's custody papers and apparently they either need a copy of the papers on hand or you have to put the moms name on the forms.
I had no choice but to put the moms name on the forms after calling and asking FH what he wanted to do. He was pissed, but they would NOT let FSS7 into the school without the moms name on the paperwork. I put her name down, skipped the address and put in a fake phone number for her.
One reason this was important remember is this mom has already been in trouble for kidnapping the kids once before, and while we do not think she would attempt it again its certainly better to be prepared then not.
The next day FH went into the school with the custody papers and told the woman to now take the mom OFF the paperwork...give him new paperwork if needed but that she had already kidnapped them before and he had sole and physical custody and he wanted her name off the paperwork. The woman who had previously been so rude to me finally got that this was a serious matter "oh my god she kidnapped the kids??" and promised to take the name off the paperwork.
Fast forward to yesterday. The kids were sick, they had had a fever the night before and as per school rules I kept them home as they had not been fever free for 24 hours. I called in my two daughters illness and handed phone to FH to call in his sons illness to avoid any rule breaking of me calling in not for my child.
Then he gets a call at work from BM. The fact that he felt the need to answer and talk to her irritates me, but what she said irritates me even more. Apparently FSS7's teacher felt the need to call up BM and ask why he was not at school. How she got the number is beyond me since I put a fake number down...why she didn't get the message from the office is a good question as well...Why she called BM who should have been off the paperwork instead of FH is also a good question. Apparently she called from her own cell phone too, not the school phone.
According to BM she said "oh so youre the REAL mother, we just love having FSS7 in class hes so great to have" blah blah blah. So basically it seems like she was snooping. If I did not want to deal with pulling kids from a school and moving them at this time of year i would defintely pull the kids out of this school. Its been one thing after another here and its beginning to piss me off.
What right did that teacher have to look up BM's number in another state no less and talk with her? Why didn't her name get pulled off of the school records like was asked?
I guess maybe I have no right to complain, she is the REAL mom after all. Sigh
Oh no, you have every right to complain
I am a teacher in a private school and we have to make sure at the school office who is supposed to be contacted by us if there is a problem with the child. As a teacher, I don't handle absences - the school nurse calls the house if and ONLY IF no one has reported the child sick. Your and your FH need to talk to the school administration about this. Make sure they know, in no uncertain terms, that BM is not to be contacted about the child and that the teacher needs to know that she was way out of line with her phone call.
marika
I would have FH go down
I would have FH go down there an pitch bloody hell over this. I would be like.. Thanks, NOW she knows where they go to school.. Way to go school teacher for letting the kidnapper know where they go to school.
I would make sure the administration brings the teacher in w/FH there and let her know the seriousness of the breach, and that FSS7 should NEVER be released into this woman's care.. REAL or not.
So sorry.
One more thing. I would
One more thing. I would also point out to the teacher that a REAL mom is the person that does the day to day things for a child. Gets up w/them when they are sick in the night, cooks for them, cleans for them.. does their laundry and such... Giving birth to a child does not make a person a REAL mom.
I have a feeling...
That BM called the school, then found out SS wasn't there, then told the teacher BM is the real mom, etc. How else would she have explained it. And why would the teacher call her if your H had already called SS off? Teachers are pretty busy do be making all those calls. Unless she knows BM? If so, I would request another teacher who is not bias.
I deal with a BM who spins many tales. She used to fill out paperwork for daycares, use a nickname she had for DH not his real name, and list her two BFs as alternative contacts/pick up people for SD (who NEVER picked her up) and not list me at all (Who ALWAYS picked her up.) Ironically she listed me before we were married, so I think it was writing my name with DH's last name that she couldn't stomach. So every summer DH would have to go in, and alter all the info, letting them know we had shared parenting and that I was permitted to make decisions/pick up/call if SD was ill, etc.
During the custody case, when we were mediating for a new visitation schedule, BM told SD's school that it was all over and she had "won more custody." I stopped in one day soon after that and told the principal we finally had a court date, The principal was shocked and told me BM indicated she won. I said, "Ummm... no. She only agreed to take her one weekend a month in mediation, and then reduced her weeknights to make it actually LESS time than she had before." The whole school was rooting for us.
I think with this crazy BM you can rest assured her true nature will come out to the staff at the school at some point. Just do your best to come across as not trying to make them bias for you, and let BM dig her own whole trying to win them over.
In my experience, it may take a while, but eventually most professionals deal with this crap enough to know when they need to get out their shovels.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
I dont know
I didn't think BM knew where the kids went to school. We haven't told her. Its possible FSS7 told her the name of the school but there are 3 in our city with the same exact name. I don't know. I just know that as it was described to me I am extremely upset, and worried about my own children's safety.
Post new comment