Step Talk

I am slacking on setting up a personal web page so here is my background. No pictures so that I can at least continue my on-line self delusion that I look like I did when I was 19 and featured in a then popular teen mag as one of Americas high school boys next door. I was so cool! True story by the way.

I am in my ....... mid 40's, married to my soul mate (wife #2) and have been SD to my SS since he was a toddler. I grew up internationally and spent most of my youth in the Middle East where may parents and both sets of grandparents made their careers.

I attended military school for my second sophomore year, junior and senior years of high school. I was not a bad kid just more interested in skiing and chasing girls than studying. Military school gave me the structure to focus on school and I did very well in the more disciplined environment. I am grateful to my parents for recognizing what I needed and giving me the opportunity.

I have a BS in Electronics Engineering and and MBA with an emphasis in Technology and Project Management. I have been working in the management and engineering consulting fields domestically and internationally for more than 20 years.

Historically my wife, SS and I have made our home in Texas (Hook-em-Horns!) but we have been living in the mid Atlantic states for the past three years.

A little history on my marital resume. I was married the first time when in my early 20's and while my ex and I were in college. After I finished putting her through college my ex wife left me after almost three years of marriage for a senior executive of a Fortune 500 company who was nearly her parents age. I have no children with my Ex. A good friend of mine saw she and her family (old fart very rich husband and three kids) at a restaurant a few years ago and she looked like she had been really angry, tired and unhappy for a very long time. It was very sad since when we married she was a very beautiful and dynamic young woman.

Since this is a Step Parent community, here is the pertinent part of the Rags story. I have been married to my lovely bride and soul mate since 1994 and Step Dad to our son since he was 15mos old. My wife was a 16yo single teen mother. Her school administration attempted to get her to leave high school to attend a GED program for pregnant teens. She refused and graduated the next year with her class. She and my SS's Spermdad (BD) attempted to be a family for a while until he left her for another 16yo shortly after my wife turned 18. I guess he did not like older women. Which is interesting since he was 22 when my SS was born and 24 when he married the second 16yo a month before court so that we could not bring up in court that he is a serial statutory rapist. He divorced her three months after the custody, visitation and support hearing on my SS.

My wife, the current and last Mrs. Rags, and I met in college when I was in the last semester of my 11yr plan and she was in her first semester out of high school. I had sold my business and went back to school full time three years earlier to finish up my BS in Engineering. I had been working on one major or another every semester for 11yrs when I finally graduated. My wife and I married several months after I graduated when I realized that with phone bills averaging $650.00/month that I could no longer afford to talk to her. So my Mom packed up my wife and SS, moved them to Cali with me, we ran up to Lake Tahoe, married and have not spoken since ............ lol.

We had nothing when we married besides my degree and each other so everything we have we have built together. And, as my mother has made perfectly clear, it is all my wifes! My mother has informed me that if I ever have a second divorce that my lovely bride gets everything and my mother will pull an Elena Bobbitt on me. She delivers this message while manically clicking a pair of kitchen sheers as she stares intently at me to insure I get the message. Mom is great! Dad too! My mom and dad have been married since two years before I was born and make Ward and June Cleaver look like neglectful parents and abusive spouses. Ward and June are a hard standard to live up to but I am working on it. Mom and Dad are now dedicated to keeping my Brother and I from screwing up the lives of their 4 grand kids. My bother and his wife have 3 and my wife and I have 1 (my SS). Woe to any unfortunate individual who tells my parents that my SS is not their grand child. The only place the term SS is used in our world is when I am on-line discussing SP issues or when either my wife or I are explaining to someone that I am really not a lecherous old bastard who got a 16yo pregnant when I was 28.

Since we married my lovely single teen mother bride has gone on to complete her own BS and MBA and is now a CPA. She is my inspiration and my muse. Our son (my SS) is an outstanding young man who's only fault is that he turned out just like me. He is very sharp but has a hard time staying interested and focused on school. Every report card has a few A's, a few B's and at least one D or F. Military school may be in his future if his mother and I ever are both at the point that we are ready to strangle him at the same time. If that ever happens he may not survive to make it to military school because one of us is always ready to strangle him. But........... he is a great kid and we love him. Update ...... SS is now at Military School. His choice BTW. I am glad that we can provide him the opportunity.

A little history on my SSs BD and the Spermfamily. My SS is an only child in our home, but he is one of four out of wedlock children by three different mothers (two were underage teen moms when the children were born) in his BDs family. Child #1 (my SS) lives with my wife and I. Children #'s 2,3&4 (1girl, 2boys) ostensibly are in the custody of BD. 3&4 actually live with the Spermdonial grand parents who when I am feeling benevolent I refer to as the Bio Paternal Grand Parents (BPGPs). BD lives in a home owned by his parents and drives vehicles given to him by his parents. He is a licensed though intermittently employed plumber who actively gets paid mostly under the table to avoid having reportable income that can be attached for the payment of child support (CS). He has no bank account, cashes any pay check he may get at one of those Pay Day check cashing places and deals primarily in cash and money orders. We know all of this because we have had to do research to get information so that our inept family law and family court "professionals" can do their jobs. Idiots! Grrrrrrr.

For more than 10yrs the BPGPs paid the CS on my SS and on #2. It was not until my wife filed for an amendment of judgment in an attempt to get a reasonable level of CS that the state initiated payroll withholding directly out of BDs pay that he ever paid a dime of CS out of his own pocket. We know this because the state CS office confirmed that the checks were not coming from him. I had recently been laid off at the time and had no pay checks coming in. What better time to get the courts to quit considering my income in order to lower the scumbags child support? The BPGF was relieved after the judge began withholding CS from BDs pay because the BPGS could stop paying the CS out of their personal accounts. Prior to filing for a CS amendment BDs CS obligation (actually paid by the BPGPs) was ~$110.00/mo. Since amendment ~5yrs ago BDs CS has been ~$500.00/mo to cover the increase, back pay and day care. Ever since he and BPGM have regularly been ranting to my SS when on visitation that there is not enough money to provide nice things for my SSs half siblings and that he needs to push his mom to eliminate child support since she and the Step Dad are "rich". This pressure started after payroll withholding began and since CS is directly withheld from BDs pay, BPGF will no longer pay it. As for us being rich, we are not rich, we sacrificed early in our marriage so that we could both finish grad school and we make reasonably sound financial decisions. In my opinion the problem is that SpermDonor can't keep his pecker in his pants and the BPGM is so out of touch with reality that she can't see that her son is a scumbag.

My name is Rags. I am a Step Dad, and this is my story.

Good luck and best regards,