I am disgusted and need some points of view.
At what age is it reasonable to expect a stepchild to get a job? SD is 15 and does NOTHING all day long. No help around the house, no chores, no nothing. Unless you count being on the computer and talking on the phone.
I think she should be getting a job. I saw another girl her age (same grade at school) sacking groceries at my store this weekend.
SD sits on her backside and expects everything to be given to her, and it is.
I worked since I was 11, babysitting, plus mowing lawns, cleaning houses, etc. When I was in high school (14 and 15), I watched a woman's kids for her from the time school ended until she got home from work. Then I had a job the day after I turned 16.
Is it no longer reasonable to expect kids to work? BM pays for her cell phone and contact lenses. She has filed a request for us to pay for SD's car insurance when she is driving. SD gets multiple volleyball camps paid for each year (at least three), plus activities (movies, ball games, shopping). When is she responsible for some of that?
Now that ss is 13 he seems
Now that ss is 13 he seems to be wanting more money. Well, no chores, no allowance.
Don't get me wrong, ss isn't hurting for anything but if he wants extras that we don't think he needs, he's gonna have to earn them.
I don't think my ss could actually be responsible to have a job that wasn't doing chores for us. He's just not there yet.
If your sd is capable of doing some kind of job/work then I think she should be required or no extras.
Dawn
I'm with ya..
I have a 15 yr old SD... and she is the laziest thing I've ever seen. I think its from her mom (my wife) guilt parenting and not wanting her to be stigmatized because her parents divorced. As a result, she's done everything for the kid for the past 12 years. At 15, mom still gets her out of bed in the morning (I guess its too much trouble to set an alarm clock), the kid can't cook anything that can't be microwaved, does nothing around the house (not without a fight anyway) and expects everything to be magically paid for.
Have you talked to your partner/hubby/the dad about it??
No reason why a 15 year old can't work
The legal age for kids to have a job in my state is 15. There are stipulations though, not over 15 hours a week and not past 7:00pm. When I was the manager at a pizza place several years ago, I had a few 15 year old's employed. I thought it was great that their parents had them get jobs at that age to teach them about working and earning money.
Your SD could definitely get a job babysitting, dog-walking, or something along those lines if she is not able to get an actual job. I started babysitting when I was 13, I remember my mom put a classified ad in the paper for me, I put up flyers around town and ended up with several babysitting jobs
You could contact your local job service to find out what kind of work she can do.
work at 15- heck yes!
There's NO reason why this kid cant contribute in SOME way to earn money, either by doing chores or getting a part-time job.
In our house we have a saying ''your first job is a student'' so during the school year the kids dont work. They can work in the summers and do.
They do, however, get a nice allowance. HOWEVER, this is only contingent on them doing specified chores that are CLEARLY listed on our chore list for each child. The consequnces are clear...no chores=no money. Period. And they also lose out on going out with friends as well, because for our overindulged darlings, sometimes losing the money just isnt enough incentive!!!!
The key in this, as always, is follow through and committment to enforcement. DH and I used to fight like heck about it in the past (as he would ALWAYS let them slide) but Im slowly but surely winning this uphill battle. (Yeah Me!!!)
You have to get your DH on the same page regarding this.
What are his thoughts?
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
Elizabeth, Like you, I have
Elizabeth,
Like you, I have been working since I was young. I first babysat my 4 cousins, then moved on to a child after school til his parents got home from work.
After that, I worked as a locker room attendent at the Boys & Girls Clubs, moved on to bagging groceries, then cashier.
I have worked from the earliest possible time, til present.. and I am selfsufficient. No one is doing her any favors by not making her work for stuff. I agree w/you, she SHOULD be working.
Oh.. and I am sure that in 5ish years time, I will posting w/the same question.. and I will NOT be happy!!
17 1/2 and still not working
My SS is 17 and will be 18 in January. His BD and I tried to "help" him get a job all summer long, beginning in early Spring, so that he wouldn't be sitting around the house all day, playing video games or on the computer. He drug his feet filling out the applications and when asked how much he wanted to work, he replied "not much".
UUUGGGG!!!!
Needless to say, he did not get a job and still doesn't have one. Because he failed a year of junior high school, he is a junior in high school and won't graduate until the end of next year. He doesn't have a car (won't get one until he can pay his own insurance and own gas expenses - my stipulation).
I feel your pain; I also was working as soon as I could and worked several jobs while in high school and college. What is it with kids these days?
My problem is that
SD's wants far exceed what is reasonable. And in a bid to keep SD wanting to live with her, BM keeps buying things and then expecting us to pay half. I think SD should have some contribution to the situation as well, she is old enough. Husband actually agrees (at least in theory) that SD should be working. But he won't do anything to push it. BM even told us last year that SD was going to get a summer job, but that didn't happen and it didn't happen again this summer. And when SD was at our house she actually didn't know which direction to put the diaper on BD2 (she tried to put it on backwards). At 15 with FOUR little sisters, are you really telling me this is the first time she has been called on to change a diaper? And husband told me SD babysit while at BM's. Whatever! I'm hoping if maybe the gravy train (daddy's wallet) slows down, BM might step up to the plate and be responsible. I just don't know.
In My State it is 16
I worked since I was 12 babysitting and mowing lawns. There is nothing wrong with a child working to earn themselves some money for the things they want to purchase for themselves.
Next summer is going to be interesting because my SS wants to work instead of going around the work to visit BM. He told me he will tie himself to a try rather than to visit his mom since she hasn't even called in 6 months.
It is better to keep your mouth shut and let people believe you are stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
my son
My BD16 got a job shortly after school ended this summer. It is one of the stipulations in order for him to get his license and a car. He has to have a job, keep his grades up, not get suspended, do his chores and generally be a good kid. If any of those things change - the car and licence cash from me will not happen($2000). My son pays me for his cell phone. Its only $20 a month but he has to pay for it and he does not complain. I will borrow him cash if he is short but he has to pay me back the next time he gets paid or he has to work the money off doing extra chores around the house. so far, he has just paid me back. All my bio kids have chores around the house. They may not be alot but they do have to do stuff besides just live here. My niece 17 just got her second job since she was 15. Her parents are seperated and she lives with her mom. Her mom told her dad that she could get a job if she wanted to. What? Her clothes tastes are very expensive and my niece tried to get grandma to buy her work clothes instead of school clothes before school started and grandma refused. The kid should buy their own work clothes. I made my son buy the slip proof shoes he needed for work.
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