Step Talk

5TEENS I'm so sorry that you were slighted after everything that you have done for her. These flippin kids are so ungrateful!!

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

im soooo sorry that happened. we stepmoms are sooo overlooked.

why didnt ur DH say u were coming too? id be upset w him too. he shouldve pointed it out to her

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

And get in that dorm room. You are not to be tossed aside like some used sock. DH should be ashamed of himself for allowing this. March yourself in there and just roll up your sleeves and make yourself useful--don't ask for permission, just do it.

I remain, the world's most evil stepmom; ask anyone.

I would be upset too.. OMG.. that is so not right. Go up there and take back the things you bought her... perhaps THEN she will realize WHY she has the things she does.

Kids these days are just ungrateful spoiled little brats.

this is terrible, I'm so sorry I can understand maybe a moment at the end, but after all you've done, it's terrible that you should be so left out....

I would not be taking their dictation. I would haul my ass right up those steps.

I think he should have stood up for you.
hugs to you!!

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

Bless you heart. I know I would be crushed but I agree with others that Dh should have not stood for that. I am sorry you were done that way.

I'll be damned if I would sit in the car after having done all that you have to help her get to this point. If she doesn't want me around, she doesn't want the things my money can afford her either. While you been washing dirty drawers, purchasing things, being a shoulder to lean on while BM has her head up her a$$, I THINK NOT. I think all rationality and self-control would be out the window right now.

Step Mother's Motto this week is:

You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.

biodads and their step princesses! They ought to be ashamed of biting the hand that feeds them both!

This show is not over by a long shot. Getting them moved in is just the beginning of what they want and need. College students are almost as needy as first graders. When she calls asking for your help tell her no and why. Let her parents deal with it.

What a spoiled, ungrateful, entitled BRAT! Your DH should not have gone up there. He should have got in the car and the 2 of you should have gone out for a nice lunch or dinner or whatever.

What ended up happening when he came back down to the car?? Are you at least on your way home now?

I agree w/sparky.. tell her no when she calls w/a request, and tell her why.

First, thanks to ALL of you for the kind words and thoughts on this.
My feelings were definitely hurt this morning after all I did for her (not only with getting ready for college, but in every way I've been there for her in the past). I thought I meant more to her than for her to blow me off like that, and although I usually have thicker skin about things like this- THIS ONE definitely got to me.

Anyway, after writing that initial blog through the tears (and on the small keys of my blackberry), DH finally came out to the car. He could tell I was upset and asked why. He was so distracted by the move himself, he did not even hear SDs remarks that I should just stay in the car and was quite shocked and upset by them.

Then he took me out of the van, walked me hand-in-hand into SDs dorm room, introduced me to SDs roommate, her father & brother and had me start helping, despite SD wanting me there or not.

He did not want to cause a scene with SD on her first day at college, but he told me on the way home that he was sorry and quite embarrassed for the way she treated me, especially after all I had done for her. He doesn't yet know what he'll say to her (or when) but he does know it's obviously something he WILL do.

In October, it's "Parent's Weekend" at the college. I just don't think I feel like going at this point- why bother? She's made it abundantly clear she doesn't consider me a 'parent'- just a lowly 'stepmother' (who happens to do everyhitng for her)

At least DH did understand my feelings in this and stood up for me. But the rest of the day was just sad and long.

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

OH.. I am so glad that your dh wasnt aware of the comment and that is why it was allowed to happen. I am also thrilled that he took you to her room... I think that action made it clear to your sd that your dh appreciates all that you do, and that so should she. Now. That said, sd is probably at an age where she is totally self absorbed, and will NEED the talk from your dh.

I wouldnt let her discourage you from Parents weekend.. I think that you have MORE than earned the right to be there..

You should be a proud member of the Lowly stepmother club, as you are in great company here.. with the rest of us lowly stepmothers!!

DH should go to "parents weekend". She's a big girl now...she should feel the consequences.

having one like urs who stands up for u and understands makes the WORLD of difference...

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

I need to proof-read my stuff!

I was really getting upset for you, until I read what DH did!

SD was probably trying to act like she prepared and did everything for herself, in front of the new people she is meeting - but we know the truth and now they do too!!

What is wrong with these girls?

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

sometimes men can surprise us, I think that you should do what makes you feel go concerning parents weekend, go or stay but do it cuz it is what will make you feel good!!!

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

5teens, we seem to have much in common. (must be the ages of our kiddos)

SD18 was kicked out of BM's house in Jan because she refused to follow the rules. SD18 was brought to our house without our agreeing to it., she sat on the curb pouting when dropped off for about an hour. I finally told DH to get her butt inside the house or leave
(all SD18's stuff was on our lawn.)
So during all this time, DH and I have helped SD18 with her
graduation things, setting her up for community college, helping with forms, taking her to register, taking her to the jobs she tried to keep in the summer.
Last night she asks me to help her with additional paperwork
for the college and I see SD18 has put her BM's address as SD's address on her forms.
That was like a slap in the face... I wanted to say HELLO!!
Didn't BM kick you out??
anyhow... Im so glad your DH defended you on that!!

Sandi ♥

i just read your story. That sucks! So far my skids have not treated me like that,. But they are young. that would kill me! Do you have kids of your own. I do not,. SO im sure it would be hard. IM so so sorry. But at least your other half is on your side, thank GOD. Hang in there your reward is ahead of you!