Ok, so DH who is always on 24hr call,left for work today.....
We are get the 4 skids tomorrow till Monday drop off at school.
He asked me yesterday if i wanted his fly. to help me this wkend...
I said yes (I have plans to leave town Saturday to be with my Godchild(whos dad was just diagnosed with cancer).
I told him I'd pkup the skids tomorrow (friday) and keep them till sat. noonish..........
His sister can take them the afternoon and his parents Sat. nite...(cuz i dont know what time i will return). His parents can then bring them back to their mom on sunday.
He is raging !........we fought for 4hrs total on this issue....he can't believe that i accepted his offer to let his fly. help me! He says that I should not want or need their help.
HELLO............help me people , am i in the wrong? I am serioulsy about to throw in the towel and leave him..........
fly??
im assuming u mean inlaws and im too dumb to figure it out! lol!
but NO u are not wrong. u had plans and he cant expect u to change them bc he has to work during his wkend w them. after all, they are HIS kids, not urs.
on a side note, my FH has to work this sat which means i will have to watch SD and im less than pleased bc A) shes a brat and needs disciplined, which i dont like to do after her BM accused me of abuse for no good reason and B) i wanted to go wedding dress shopping but refuse to take SD w me bc she cant behave and i dont need the distraction. so i feel ya.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
We dont exercise visitation
We dont exercise visitation when dh has to work. When he was away the last whole summer... I did not go and get them. I had in the past and it went unappreciated by bm and the skids, so guess what.. I said nope. Not my children not my problem. Their MOTHER can keep them.
So sorry that your dh is being a jerk about this. He offered them to help.. if he didnt want them to help, then he shouldnt have offered, You have plans to see your godchild and an ill relative.. I mean.. its not like you said, oh too bad for you, I am going partying and they would cramp my style!
God, what is wrong w/these men?
I don't either
I USED to take them when BF went to work OT or whatever BUT since they filed a phoney abuse report on us last year AND all three, but particularly the stb 10 SD can LIE LIKE A RUG, I don't feel comfortable with them alone anymore. She constantly makes up stories for attention and she has often incited the rath of others by the use of her sharp tongue, just like BM, but EXPECTS no repercussions from it.
They ruined it for themselves as far as I"m concerned.
He's obviously in fantasy mode
I think this is stage 1? of stepparenting as someone posted the several stages of stepparenting.
He thinks you are all one big happy family and that skids totally accept you as they would their own flesh and blood, yada yada yada.
If your situation is anything like mine, that fantasy is READILY acccepted and bought into by BF/DH WHEN it is convenient, aka when you can play scullery maid, limo service, etc. to the royal skids.
When it comes to DISCIPLINING and SETTING GUIDELINES/BOUNDARIES in your OWN HOME, you suddenly become a NOBODY, POOF! No more are you one big happy family or accepted as flesh and blood, but an outsider with NO BUSINESS commenting on how things ought to be.
Suddenly the 180 degree turn whips around, the "fantasy white picket fence" goes out the window and you're told these are NOT YOUR CHILDREN and you have NO RIGHT interfering with the bio parents decisions (even though these decsions SERIOUSLY effect your life)!
Amen Sista !!!!!!
"When it comes to DISCIPLINING and SETTING GUIDELINES/BOUNDARIES in your OWN HOME, you suddenly become a NOBODY, POOF! No more are you one big happy family or accepted as flesh and blood, but an outsider with NO BUSINESS commenting on how things ought to be."
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
When is it
babysitting & when is it "visitation"? Isn't the visitation with their father?
You had plans. Don't let him get away with it. If you have set a precedent and allowed this to happen before, it will be difficult to get him to understand.
You shouldn't want nor need their help? So he can tell you what you should and shouldn't need? HELLO?????? That's like when I told my X that I was cold, to please turn off the car air conditioner & he told me that I wasn't cold! Don't let him tell you what you do and do not need---------------you are not wrong. He wants to control you, your time and HE will determine what you need & don't need! YIKES Get Cruella's fying pan!
cru's frying pan
i think she retired that when she left the website
im still crying over it
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Is FLY in laws.
When my DH wasn't able to be home for his kids, it wasn't my responsibility. Sure, I'd pick them up from school or hang out with them for awhile, but if he wasn't going to be around for the day or weekend or whatever, in comes the in law patrol. After-all, visitation is for the family, DH's family not me.
And why he suggested that FLy help and then blame you, is beyond me. I support YOU.
i don't know why men react the way they do
but they do the stupidest things most of the time. your dh probably would have been skeeved if you didn't want to deal with the skids at all because of everything you've got going on...and he's skeeved because you're getting the f-i-l to help(I assume it's his ex-father in law). it's like you cant win no matter what you do.
if your dh is like mine, when he calms down he'll realize you did the right thing...you're helping watch kids that ARENT YOURS, which means you're going out of YOUR way to help HIM even when you have alot of stuff going on in your own life. so what that you need help?! he should be thankful you're willing to help him at all.
Stick to your guns and give him a little time for his two brain cells to settle down and stop fighting and maybe he'll see that he's the ass-munch here.lol
good luck
fly
I believe that fly means family as in his family.
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