Step Talk

I just allowed DH to do everything, and I do mean everything for them. I just ignored their crappy attitudes and their mouthiness totally. I also just tell Dh that they are not my kids, therefore, not my problem. That's what I did, and it worked for me. I guess you have to find your own style.

Have DH handle it, but that should NOT be tolerated!

custodial parents and the children are very young, disengaging will prove to be most difficult. Others here could better advise on that but...

If you are an EOW parent ----you just let the bio parent attend to the "needs" of the child. Removing kindness, in my opinion, is never an option but you can remove your presence often and let the parent and his child bond without you there. It worked for me & my skids actually like me and like coming over.

I am currently in the process of this, however in order to "punish" me for "not caring about his kids" he has decided that he will disengage from my children. I have two bio kids who do not have another father active in their lives. My DH says "fine you take your own kids to school now"..........which is not very compatible with my work schedule, where I go to make more than half of our family income. My kids love DH and show him appreciation and affection. I involve him in my childrens life. Every aspect of it. When it comes to his children, I dont even know where they go to daycare. He doesnt keep me informed of anything. Yet he expects me to treat his children as my own - but have I have no right to opinions, rules, or just common knowledge of their daily schedules. However, we combine finances and he pays for all of their sports, lunches, etc...and I just have to allow my money to pay for things that I have no say in. I am really confused right now too! Tuscanlady, we have some of the same questions...how does this work?
"God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change; the strength to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

If the father is doing something abusive to his children you have to take action to stop it. (see my post about a bizarre case)

I think that usually step kids more likely to be spoiled than abused though.

ain't THAT the truth.

Falling, can you separate finances? I know in my case I make about 75% of the household income and BF makes 25% (on a good day) CS is excessive to say the least! BF is VERY bad with money and he tends to just spend money on the ultra spoiled skids that he doesn't have to "buy their love" (although he denies this BITTERLY)

I make sure finances are separated otherwise he would start tapping into my "main account" to shower unappreciative and ungrateful skids with even more "goodies" and we would have NO money for necessities!

Can you show him the "guilt parenting link" with any success? This isn't the original link but it is very good: http://www.cadivorce.com/content.aspx?id=742

My BF utterly rejects ALL parenting advice, even though he KNOWS it's right. "my kids are different, they're just kids, etc etc"

(yes they ARE different and NOT in a good way!!)

There are two things no one should be able to mess with----your kids and your money.

Boy, your man is in charge here. If you let him continue, you are teaching your daughters to be subservient and "silent" women. You should have 100% say in where your money goes. Your kids are watching every thing you do. You are the "model" they will use to carve out their lives. Get some strength woman and don't let him brow beat or punish you with ANYTHING. He is not your father.

MOM ALWAYS SAID: Always respect your man, BUT NEVER ASK HIS PERMISSION! NEVER