Step Talk

I have wished something similar. I have wished or at least thought for certain that my SK's will someday go through their own divorce and then be able to understand my DH's position. You make a good point and I think it's along the same line of a learning lesson. One of my SD has already told me (voluntarily) that she knows that "they" have not made things easy on me. DH said she was implying that her BM has not made things easy on me. Sometimes we get lucky and our kids or SK's "get it" before they leave our house and before they have to go through their own hell. Sometimes we are unfortunate and end up with kids or SK's that are so self envolved that come what may they will NEVER get it.

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"All power is from within therefore under our control." - Robert Collier

My SD had a SM from hell. This is the BM we are having problems with. My husbands 2nd wife. SD married a guy with a psycho ex who copied SD's fashion style, haircut, etc. Her skids were rude and her DH never did a thing about it which eventually led to her leaving him.

In my case SD didn't deserve the treatment she recieved. She did nothing but try.

"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"

EVIL! HE HE HE, my gosh, I never would have thought of that, but ya know what?????

Okay, I am done with that evil thought----maybe I'd wish it on her for one year when she's 50. When she's done with her mothering & then meets a man with a few almost "finished" skids. Yeah, I'd wish that on her! One with no house & no money so she has to deal with them at HER house.

EVIL! HE HE HE, my gosh, I never would have thought of that, but ya know what?????

Okay, I am done with that evil thought----maybe I'd wish it on her for one year when she's 50. When she's done with her mothering & then meets a man with a few almost "finished" skids. Yeah, I'd wish that on her! One with no house & no money so she has to deal with them at HER house.

Yes - the DH understanding especially! I am not saying I want them to be miserable, just face what we do and see their DH's perspective!

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

a lot, and I too wish my SD's the same.

Especially because my SD says she will never had kids and if she does, then she will never be like me.

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

I have often thought that my SD would open her eyes if she were in my shoes. But then I think of your theory that we have children just like us. My SD is just like her mother (loose use of the word mother). Which means that my SD will be hard pressed to find a person to spend her life with. Your loved ones can only take so much before they leave. And my SD is learning that lesson firsthand by watching her mothers numerous failed relationships with both men and sk's.

I agree that people truly have no idea of what a step-parent endures until they walk that path. It can be a very dark and rocky road, weather it's the sk's or their other parent making it rough. Even when your spouse (the bio) is completely on your side. I'm hard pressed to wish it on anyone, :0 even my sd. While I would love for her to learn and truly understand what she has done to this family, after this visit I'm doubtful it will happen. I hold to the hope that as she grows and as she sees more of the world her eyes will open and she will see her mother for what she is. While I wish that she would be able to look at her actions and realize that they were wrong without her having to endure years of what most of us have had to deal with. I think that even then she would just blame someone else. It would be more proof that you are often a product of your most chaotic home.

On the other hand what comes around goes around right;)

a few weeks ago. She had to meet her EX to pick up son and get back her his bedroom furniture (she borrowed our truck) when she brought the truck back, I could tell she had been crying, I asked her what was wrong, and she told me EX had a girl with him (I could tell it really hit her hard)And she said that he told her " the girl took better care of son than you ever could". I tried to help her out, by telling her that he was just being vindictive because she left him, apparently for being physically abusive (I will never know the full story on that one)But, I could not help but think about all the HELL SHE and BM gave US! It IS Karma working it's magic.You reap what you sow!!!!! Maybe this will help SD in the long run....
hangingin

I pray for it!

I wouldn't wish that on ANY child. BM's exfiance has a daughter, and I just sighed relief for that little girl and her mom when BM and he broke up.

BM attacked that BM verbally swearing at a school event for the little girl, all because the BM said hi to SD's BM. "Don't you EVER F--KING TALK to ME AGAIN!" I believe was one of the phrases.

SD says that guy still wants to marry BM. I just don't get it. He seems like a nice guy. His exw was very nice too. Why would he want to marry that loon?

I digress.

But I'm not sure I want SD to be a BM one day herself, let alone a SM. I think she would be the exact same mom her own is.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra