Step Talk

Do one chore a day plus the dishes at night. There is no reason at that age that children can't help out around the house. Even my 11 year old SS does chores.

"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"

all i had to do was make sure my room was clean and that was it.

life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )

My SS 7 sweeps the floor after we eat, takes the trash out, makes his own bed, and helps put laundry away. they live there too and should share in keeping the place up.

Maybe you, DH and the kids could sit down and discuss the whole chore thing. If they're 15 and 13 they're too young to drive or make their own money. Do they have an allowance? And do you and DH take them to places like sleepovers, parties, the pool, skating, friends' houses, etc? If so, it should be pointed out that these things are priveledges that can be taken away; if not, they could be put on the table as rewards for good behavior.

I have been doing my own laundry since I was 10 years old. At 10, my responsibilities were to keep my room tidy every day and deep clean it every two weeks (dust furniture, clean mirrors, etc.). I also vacuumed the house once a week and swept the floor after dinner. A few years later I began cleaning "my" bathroom once a week. I also had to help mow the yard (we had a huge yard, it was an all day three man job).

A lot of times, one kid will prefer to do certain types of chores over others. Sometimes they can "get off easy" by getting the chores that they don't mind doing too badly.

Good luck!

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

with the comment about learning how to live on there own i never did any of that stuff at my mums and my house now is immaculate i do my skirting bords every 2 days windows every 2 days door frames every 2 days. my bathroom and floors every day always make my bed wehn i get ouit of it ect ect ect

life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )

We've decided to have a sliding scale for SD14. We want her to have an allowance, and learn to save money for the things she wants, but we also want her to have responsabilities. For her $10 a week, she is expected to keep her room clean and her bed made, do her own laundry and to water all the pets (we have 2 cats, 3 snakes, a lizard, a couple of fish and a tarantula) feed the cats, and unload the dish washer. (No loading b/c no one in my family seems to understand that a dish CRUSTED with food will NOT get cleaned properly except me).

If she wants more money, her father and I are happy to give her additional projects. If she doesnt' do those base things or we need to nag her about it constantly, no allowance.

Sundays her father and I typically do some chores. I think it's important to show a child that the parents are chipping in too, at her mom's house, she's pretty much the free maid/baby sitter, and we don't agree with that. Each of us has a job. Her father and I go to work every day, and she goes to school and needs to get good grades. Beyond that, we all need to chip in around the house so it's a nice place to live for us all...

I have had chores my whole life, and I NEVER got money for doing them. They were an expected part of living in the family. My chores, starting at age 8, were to help make dinner, (one night a week I had to make it all myself), vacuum, dust, mow the lawn, take out the garbage, clean my own room, help clean the bathroom, take care of the dog, etc. When I started high school, I had to do my own laundry and get a job to pay for my own clothes. I don't feel like any of this "ruined" me and I don't hate my parents for it. I am fully independent and I didn't need to be taught how to do anything when I moved out. I am also very good at managing my time (when I need to be).

My step-kids, on the other hand, did not even know how to turn on a vacuum cleaner when they met me. Now, at ages 8 and 10, they are responsible for making their beds every morning, dusting and vacuuming their rooms plus general tidying in there, and helping dust and vacuum the common areas they use. We are having them help set the table and clear dishes now too. Next, they'll be sweeping the kitchen floor after meals because they don't seem to understand what "eat over your plate" means.

We only have the kids 1/3 of the time, but since we pay for everything for them and take them to sports, etc. this is their way to contribute to running the household. Too many parents these days think it's "mean" to make their kids do work around the house...then why isn't it "mean" that you have to do it for them? This is a sore spot for me, and one over which I have influenced my husband greatly. He now totally agrees that kids should have household responsibilities. Besides being a contribution, it helps them take ownership of the home (and therefore some pride in it), and it helps them feel a part of something.

i never had chores and a lot of you are saying how it helps u when you leave the nest which it doesnt i never did anything yet i have a good job a spotless house a great social life with lots of friends my parents both encouraged me to be who i am not focus on getting help around the house

life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )

My chores were weird growing up. I was supposed to keep my room clean and help whenever asked. There really weren't any "set" chores. Whatever we were told to do, we were expected to do, which included anything from the dishwasher to working out in the yard. However, my house wasn't the cleanest. My mom grew up in another country where all the middle class had maids. She even had her own personal maid. What a wakeup call when she moved here! She never really learned how to clean that well. She mostly just straightened up, (and she usually ruined at least 1 piece of clothing in the washer a week) and dad had to come along behind her and do what he could. So that's what I learned to do. Hubby is a clean freak, and was horrified at my "cleaning", so he has been teaching me ever since we met. He even had to teach me the right way to do laundry. Now I'm a pretty decent cleaner, and take pride in a clean house. This has taught me that you need to teach children how to clean or they won't have a clue what to do when they are on their own. (I shudder now to think what my apartment looked like when I was all by myself!)

At 13 and 15 they definitely need to keep their rooms clean and help with the everyday cleaning. I'm not a big fan of assigning chores, because if it needs to be done, but the SD it belongs to is not there, the other SD will refuse to do it, and all that kind of "not my job" argument just gives me a headache. So we just let it be known that all chores belong to everyone (except individual rooms and picking up after yourself). If you are asked to do something, you do it. I also agree with having them help with laundry. I wish I had been taught how to do laundry correctly, and then maybe I wouldn't have ruined a whole load of Hubby's shirts when we first got married!

My son (12 1/2) on MWF has dishes (we have a dishwasher), clean kitchen counters, sweep kitchen and bathrooms, take out garbage and recyclables, on TTh he has to clean bathroom sinks, pick up the living room, vacuum, everyday chores, are put his laundry away and clean his room- not making them learn how to do stuff does them no favors

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love."

i really disagree with the comment its the way to teach. i think kids need to be learning from books not by cleaning house and once they have done homework they should be allowed to socailise and firgure out who they are i agree if they make a huge mess or something they should clean it up but shouldnt be made to scrub the house

life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )

i'm sure no one on here is saying that they have their kids be their maids but it does teach them responsibility and also how to take care of themselves. i have many friends who had to call me when they moved out on their own because they couldnt do laundry or even boil water. i'm sure everyone on here gives the kids time to be kids too but keeping up with the household should be a family responsibility...not one or two people killing themselves while the kids make a mess. FSD is here for the summer and she has chores...nothing big, but she cleans up after herself...we cook together on the weekends when i'm not in such a rush to just get it done and i can teach her a thing here or there...i dont think anyone here is being unreasonable in wanting their kids to help out around the house...when i was younger i was responsible for quite a bit around the house and there wasnt a payment plan for my chores..that was a part of being a part of the family and helping eachother out. even BF knows that cleaning is our responsibility...all of us. i've just seen so many households where only one person is responsible for the chores and it kills them...there's no time for anything else but cleaning up after everyone else...it's a family responsibility especially if both parents work.

I agree with the chores for the kiddos, we have 5 total,
most are teens. The younger ones BD's 14, 15 and SD12 all have one chore a day; dishes, trash, second load of dishes...
They are each responsible for keeping their own room clean, and
their own laundry. SD18 is working but if she wants to live in our house must attend college and do chores; mop/sweep the floor
3x a week. SS 19 has just now come back and his conditions are different, he must work 6 hrs a day right now until he finds a job.
He is trying to get back on the right path and has made several mistakes. I agree with others that it does teach responsibility,
but it is too much when 7people are in the house for one person to take care of it all. Now when school comes and if practice or games or alot of home work comes up then we give breaks, but I don't think
any child should not have to do chores. So Im basically agreeing with what most of ya'll wrote.

way worked for me i turned out fine i dont shrink things its not like its rockett science to use a washer is it? its all common sense if you ask me. but what your saying about them being a maid is not what i was trying to say i manage to clean my house work full time i also have a part time job and a busy social life

life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )

Since SD (16)came to live with us I notice she does her own laundry, she keeps her room clean and we have not had a bit of trouble with her. She went out yesterday after and cleaned out her car and washed it. Of course, DH is OCD and would not allow anything else. He did explain to her she would have to do these things if she lived with us.

I make requests of my BD (11) as needed. She keeps her room picked up and neat or anything else I ask. When she turns 12 she will start doing her own laundry. One thing I had to ground BD over this past weekend was that I get ticked when she takes the shampoo and liquid soap into the shower and does not put in back in the bathtub when she's done. I forget and have to get out of the bath soaking wet and get them. I had already made this request of her and she forgot. You would have thought I smacked her upside the head after making her hand her cell phone over for the weekend. But she didn't forget then next time.

"OCD sucks"
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to destroy.
--Henri de Lubac

I have 2 SD one of which is not in the home anymore, and my two BD. I was always taught that if I ever wanted to go and do things such as go out with a friend, sleepover etc that I must contribute. I have also carried this over into my girls and trying to teach his girls. My girls now know in order for them to go, they know what to expect before even asking me. ALSO my children have cell phones, they need money to go here and there,, Im not giving them a penny or keeping the cell phones connected while they sit back and show me no respect for what i have given. EXAMPLE, school is coming up, for weeks I have told the girls dont ask me to take you shopping when you throw all your laundry on your bedroom floor. I refuse to take them shopping and them come home and throw my hard earned money on the floor. My girls have cleaned and managed to maintain their clean room and laundry on hangers in the closet LIKE its suppose to be done. My SD on the other hand has refused to take my advice and honestly has three loads of cloths on the floor. ARE they clean, some are some are not! SO as bad as it may sound but i refuse to TREAT someone who does no appreciate or respect what I have asked them to do KNOWING that if she just did it she will reward from it as well. Chores are simple at my house. Clean your room, we alternate doing dishes, sweeping, dusting etc. If I cook, IM NOT CLEANING! I work hard everyday and I refuse to come home and clean up after them while they have been home eating, sleeping, kicked back watching MTV.

So is allowance a thing of the past? I always had an allowance growing up, not much, $10 a week which is barely enough for a movie ticket now, and beginning at about 13 I had baby sitting jobs and whatnot, but my parents didn't want me hounding them for money all the time I guess, so this was their solution, $10 a week, that's it....