And has been sitting here staring at me cracking her knuckles non-stop.
She also really upset me by painting Anna's fingernails and toe nails.
It's the first time they were painted.
I wanted to do that.
NOT at 2 years old.
SD is now taking her bare foot and rubbing it down the wall making a fart noise with it.
Then turned around to stare at me.
FINALLY! She couldn't get my attention so she went in the other room
She'll be back so I gotta go.
Is mental illness contagious?
I think I may very well be losing my sad little mind.
why...is 2 too young to have her nails painted???
BM has had SDs painted since she was one. not normal??? (these are rhetorical questions)
why didnt she ask u for permission to do that? why dont u tell her u need privacy? doesnt work like that w her, eh?
she would grate my last nerve, thats for sure. take a xanax or drink some wine. or do both. whatever makes u deal.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Oh you better believe I am the meanest SM in the land now
How dare I insinuate SD ask my permission before painting Anna's nails. The look on her face! But you know what? I bet she asked her Aunt before she painted niece's nails.
I have told her to find something else to do. But if I am writing (was working on my poem -check out the blog Bella!) and I acknowledge her at all, then she will continue to bait me until I bite.
We had already had an argument ensue over our stupid parenting and how we don't care about their social development because we won't provide a cell phone.
Anything I say will be twisted into an insult to her.
I believe in the cell phone discussion, when she asked in disgust "What's WRONG with texting?!?!"
and I answered, "Kids are getting addicted to it, they are not learning phone ettiquette, they are obsessed with checking it, they are not engaging in a real discussion, they are using them to cheat on tests"
She yelled, "I won't DO those things! Why do you think I am that STUPID! Why do you think your kids are so dumb?!?!?"
Ummm... I never said a word about MY kids, did I?
I told her she was spinning my words when I was answering her question into an insult against her."
Well...all I got out was, "You are spinning my words-"
When she interrupted me to say she was NOT and stomped off to pout.
I am always reminded of DH telling me that when he wanted time alone he would allow BM to spin herself into an argument so that she would in a few short minutes throw the remote at his head and stomp off angry to HER room (notice not THEIR room) for the entire evening!
Though this is not helpful in the long run when dealing with BPDs, I certainly understand the reasoning for that particular coping mechanism!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
i already did sita!
checked ur blog out earlier...too cute!
she needs summer camp or something. thank god next year she will be old enough to get a job, rite?!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Can you outwait her?
That has worked very well with SD15. She has the same bad mannerisms (cracks all her knuckles multiple times while sitting next to me on the couch because she knows it drives me crazy). If I was on computer and SD15 wanted to use it, she would drive me up a wall. No doubt. So, if she does annoying behaviors, I simply wait her out. The more annoying she acts, the longer it takes me to get done with the computer. The more impatient she is, the longer it takes me to get the bowl out of the cupboard. It has worked, even though in a way it feels like you are punishing yourself from having to listen to the sighs and fidgets and mumbled complaints.
I can and I DID!
That's why I'm back!
Plus I wanted to make sure I blocked all the iming sites through parental control.
Maw haw hawwwwwwww!!!!( wringing hands and furrowing brows.
)
She only asked about the computer because she is bored because her friend wasn't home and the phone minutes are down.
Have I mentioned we are buying a corded, that's right I said, CORDED phone for the kitchen and our bedroom. WITH NO CALLER ID OR CALL WAITING!
My evil plot to take over the world through making my teenage children's life a living hell of material neglect is coming along VERY nicely!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
When my BD would hover,
When my BD would hover, waiting for me to get off the computer I would start looking up boot camps and appropriate punishments for teens, LOL!
That is hilarious!
One of the best ideas I think I've ever heard! I think I'll leave a couple of searches and websites up tonight so step-son 15 will see them when he uses my computer while I'm at work tomorrow.
BM painted Step SON'S fingernails and toenails in PINK
at age 5 b/c she KNEW it would piss off BF!!
as for SD? PUT HER TO WORK, hand her a mop and a bucket then inspect the job and make her do it over and over until every micro speck of dust is gone! bwa ha ha ha
Oh Crayon....
Ok, I'm a liberal. Who cares if the five year old asked and BM did it. But how stupid or arrogant does she have to be to not TAKE IT OFF before the little guy gets picked up by Daddy.
Ugh.
These women.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
one time I painted SDs nails...
bc we had her and i was doing mine at the table and she saw me and wanted hers done too "like bella's" (this was back when she loved me, b4 her mothers evil influence set in). this was a thursday...when we picked her uup that friday for visitation...guess what? her nails werent polished anymore. surprise surprise.
how passive agressive and petty...ugh.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Well that's different
I remember BM getting angry because I gave SD an old ring of mine, my free pair of icing's "buy two get one" sales.
She doesn't do that much now. Of course I took her advice and "stopped buying" SD's love a long time ago (because free earrings and an old ring of mine constituted that evidently!)
Now BM makes fun of me for NOT buying things for SD.
It's passive aggressive crazy BM syndrome.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
ridiculous
jealousy is an ugly thing. I SAY, work on being the best mom u can to ur kid, and then u have nothing to worry about.
but then that wouldnt leave time to try and ruin OUR lives. i get it now...
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
true BUT
we know SS did NOT ask for his nails to get painted. He is always getting corralled by his BM and his older sister. They BOTH have oldest SS 11 talking about "alternative lifestyles" WTF!! Shouldn't they all be doing school work instead of focusing on their sexual preferences? Of course the older two in school are FAILING their academics!
Perhaps the annoying SD that wants to use the computer can do some READING ASSIGNMENTS! OH the HUMANITY!
it's arrogance
she MEANT to keep it on their b/c she knows that BF is a "man's man" EXTREMELY masculine and that it would upset him to see his son parading around in pink polish. She did it on purpose for a snicker and a smirk on her end!
good idea crayon
make some good use out of all her nervous energy
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Crayon and Bella
I hate to say it, but unless it's outside work, like trimming, which DH didn't want her to start today b/c he's mowing tonight, it's just not worth it.
The slamming the firing through the task without really cleaning, just thinking that if you spray it and wipe it you're done, no matter if it's covered in hair or toothpaste (or other nasties.)
By the way...SD's being gone for 5 weeks made me completely forget that she clogs the toilet every day and it is the most disgusting BM (hey- there's that double use again!) I have ever witnessed and I had two brothers, am on my second husband, have two sons, AND change toddler poops daily!
They are huge, and totally the shape of the entire neck of the toilet. Not normal turds, but some softball shaped, cement sealing atrocity to humankind. She also reeks the whole house.
Is that from sugar? Too much junk? I have never figured out what's going on with her digestion.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
OMG SITA...
okay NOW im concerned for u...checking out the BMs (ha!) of SD?! does she not flush??? what the hell?
i think it is from her poor diet. maybe u shud force vitamins down her throat?
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Ummm...No she does NOT flush
The smell of course I didn't "check out" it would greet me coming up the stairs.
The consistancy was only duly noted when I would walk past the bathroom two days after she had left for BM's house, and the stench was crawling out into the hall to greet me. I would go in and lift the lid (there's a definite warning sign when a teen's bathroom toilet lid is DOWN APPROACH WITH CAUTION!!!!
I would lift it and nearly wretch (and I don't have a weak stomach- used to assist on plastic surgery and not much is grosser.)
Then it would take a ton of plunging because this thing had molded itself to the dimensions of the drain.
AND she doesn't LIKE to plunge it herself because it's gross, so she uses the excuse that she couldn't get it to go down (but since the kids don't seem to remember my request to rinse a plunger before putting it back in the holder, I KNOW she isn't trying to plunge it at all.)
SO....
She will now find me, usually hours or the next day later, to tell me to please take care of her toilet. AGAIN.
I sometimes have DH do it, but if it's smelling and he won't be home for a while, then I go ahead.
So though I do obsess over SD's BM sometimes, it's of the maternal sort, not the digestive one.
Just another thing I forgot about for five blissful beautiful peace loving weeks.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
oh i know sita
did u think i pictured u running around lifting toilet lids and inspecting BMs??? LOL!!!
she needs to learn to take care of that herself. for me, after my ex-BF moved out, the first time i clogged my toilet (too much paper...im obsessive) i called my GF. "how to u plunge a toilet?" her response? "uh...put the stick in the hole and push" LOL!! god i miss my friends back home!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Man Out of Pure Spite
I would tell her to "keep it down" when she starts banging around then go and inspect her job every 15 minutes and make her do it over and over. It's actually FUN to turn it into a work camp and see the sad sack look on their spoiled rotten faces!!!
Then you can give her a book like The grapes of wrath, or War and Peace and demand a 50 page report on it!! BWA HA HA
Then when you get questioned by DH for being so mean, just say you're doing it in SD's BESTS INTERESTS and are concerned about her lack of knowledge in English Lit!
I love it when BF goes out of earshot and then I tell the nasty little brats what i REALLY think of them and their crappy attitude!!!
That would work with most
kids, but with BPD and bipolar kids, it doesn't work. It only makes things escalate! SUCKS!
Sia's right it doesn't work.
That's the normal mom tactic I tried the first couple years.
My sons? Works beautifully. They even don't mind it when I teach them how to clean something properly. But SD is self-defeatest regarding everything and anything.
Even the most gentle constructive criticism is seen as a threatening dismissal of her worth as a person.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
believe me
BF has a self-defeatest daughter. If things aren't handed to her or come easily in a 5 second time period, she becomes absolutely horrid. She simply has given up on third grade b/c she won't do anything that isn't EASY. why she's even told us that she only wants to do "easy" things.
She failed third grade, but sure enough, video-parent BM has seen to it that she was pushed thru to 4th grade so she wouldn't lose her self esteem and "friends" (what friends?)
BM wanted to blame her lousy parenting on some sort of "disability" when it is pure laziness on her part (not spending time with SD, instead going to the local community chorus, etc.) and on SD's! Even had the state extensively test SD, and guess what? NO DISABILITY!
I love lighting into them when they are in my control. I let them have it like an army drill seargent. Told them that they can fool the BM and even BF, but they will NEVER EVER fool CRAYON! AS I AM MUCH OLDER AND WISER than BM, BF AND their BM's mom!!! (not older but wiser than her) I told them that I come from a long line of fortune tellers, gypsies, indians and french canadian pirates (all true BTW) and can read their little minds (i wanted to say "pea brains") Had the older ones running scared!! (so as it should be; SOMEONE needs to put the fear of god into those little maniacs)
BM's mom was the start of this whole mess, treating her daughter the BM as a princess and friend and not fostering the appropriate parent/child relationship.
Now I really want to meet ya!
"I come from a long line of fortune tellers, gypsies, indians and french canadian pirate..."
Too COOL!
I come from Brittish Aisle, oppressed, pasty white, potato eating, alcoholics myself. Do you think that would impress SD?
Oh...but my grandfather tended elephants for the traveling circus, was a clown, magician, puppeteer and self employed printing press operator for 60 years. He was handy at birthday parties and to get us in behind the scenes at the side show.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
I'm sure coming from a circus family
you can throw mind reader in there somewhere!!
crayon
it surprises me that u can actually restrain urself and hold back from telling BF to his face. i certainly wouldnt be able to exercise such restraint, but youre a better woman than me!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
BF is
much bigger than I am. I choose my battles wisely.
Oh I never have to explain being mean to DH
He is very proud of my ninja mom tactics and likes to live by my example
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
I agree, when I was young, my mom
or grandma would had me a broom or mop if I dared ever say I was bored. I do this to my BS10 now. he is constantly complaing he is bored, yesterday he got handed a mop. HAHAHAHA, silly kid. Anyway, Sita I know how frustrating it is, and how you just want to beat your head against the wall, and I have NO good advice. I never did well dealing w/SD's BPD and Bipolar ways. I just refused to accept any of it, I guess. I admire you soooo much for putting up w/it and loving her anyway!
Once again...
Those were the days when kids knew how to entertain themselves. My mom didn't give us that many chores, because we were self motivated. I remember on some hot sticky summer days saying, "Mom! want us to wash your car?" Just to get some relief through a hose of ice cold water. I would always get frustrated when my room was messy and would take my own initiative to clean it top to bottom and sweep (hardwood floors too.) I would also occasionally decide the bathroom sink needed sprucing up.
My mom rarely noticed or complimented me or thanked me. If she did she would, but she was pretty busy herself.
Her only complaints I remember?
Was putting our stuff on the kitchen table after she just cleaned it off, yelling at us for peeing in the toilet that had cleaner soaking in it without scrubbing/flushing it first (and then we would from then on) etc.
She was so happy that we were self motivated, and self entertained that she let us off the hook for a lot of stuff. We were out of her hair, man I'm jealous of that time.
Ignorance was surely blissful while it lasted.
Sadly, that was only til Nov of '81 when my brother was head injured.
That one even so shaped my tolerance for whining I'll tell ya.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
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