Step Talk

one step forward and two steps back. LOVE the backsliding and caving in!! Join the club!!

I agree...but does the backsliding ever stop?

not sure...what i want to figure out is how can i get my power like the ex has. I have figured out when i step away from getting involved in these issues it helps me and Bf senses it . Its at these times he doenst cave to her...

the first to bear their children

All hail the great and powerful walking wombs! (feel free to break out your yoga mat and prostrate yourself)

How does him picking up SD and taking her to work with him impact YOU? It doesn't. Those things that don't impact you directly? You have to let them go before they drive you insane.

As ridiculous as it may seem to you, it's your BF's decision whether or not he wants to take up BM's slack. As a mother, I can totally understand why any divorced parent, regardless of custody/visitation, would want to spend more time with their kid(s). Four days at a time may seem like enough for you, but maybe it's not enough for dad. Maybe it's not about him not standing up to BM. Maybe he wants his daughter as much as he can get her. Maybe he knows she's better off with him than with her mother. Maybe he's just being a responsible parent, and his daughter obviously needs one, since BM doesn't seem too responsible.

I don't think this makes him an ass. I think this makes him a great dad. Now, if he were volunteering you to babysit her without your prior knowledge or consent, then yeah, you'd have a right to be mad. But I don't understand why you are angry about him picking up his daughter and taking her to work with him. I'm guessing it's because he won't stand up to BM and force her to take SD on her days, but I'm wondering about dad's motivation for doing this. If it's so he can be there for his daughter, I don't know. I couldn't get angry at that.

♥ ANNE 8102 ♥

yes BF doesnt stand up to her (the ex). For instance when he does volunteer to take Sd...when it comes time to meet the ex for an exchange she doesnt show up..or answer her phone etc. One evening he waited in a parking lot (with sd) for an hour! There are many times things like this have happened. We have made plans only to have them broken because of her (the ex).
So it does involve me.Also my BF and i own our on business. So i work with him. When he brings skids to work its disruptive to me. I need to talk to him about this. Alot of times they hang out in the office.. and im trying to work.. its not easy.

I've been divorced TWICE and ALWAYS STUCK to the TIME SHARING SCHEDULE!!!

I also had the experience of having my ex-hubbys make a GREAT effort to pay as little or no child support as possible. Of course the rules were not as strict back then SO, it was the latter.

I am TOTALLY unfamiliar with the scenario of the BM "dumping" the skids at the drop of a hat with literally no notice (happens with this BF)

AND I am TOTALLY unfamiliar with an ex-hubby VOLUNTARILY offering as MUCH $$$$ to a worthless ex-wife as possible (under the guise that it is "for the kids" yeah right)

THIS is what threw me for a loop when I met BF!!! NO set schedule adhered to, BM dumping off skids whenever and whereever (basically calling BF to come pick them up anytime she felt like it; she never did any of the driving to drop them off or pick them up)

BM getting rich off of CS! BM completely taking advantage of BF during the mediation and divorce! BF VOLUNTEERING boatloads of $$$$ to BM not realizing that this in fact was OUR (mainly my) $$$$ and not his to just throw at BM!!!

I agree that it DOES MAJOR LEAGUE effect us! It's our home they come to, it's our food bill that goes up, it's our utility bill that goes up, it's our stuff they destroy, it's our homes that suffer the extra wear and tear. it's our salaries that get thrown into the bottomless BM pit! It's our time that is frittered away; It's our relationship with our DH/BF that is sacrificed at the altar of Guilt Parenting.