Step Talk

ya that sounds sooooooo easy...but man i dont know how you guys do it...there's enough stress with the whole blended family thing and i as a woman could not re-decorate enough for me to feel like the ex's house is now my home.

The bank that holds the mortgage will never take her name off the mortgage without it being refinanced. So apparently he didn't refinance after the divorce, right? She can't just choose to have her name taken off the loan. She can't "give him rights" to take her name off of it. It's not his decision or hers. Only the lender can take her name off the loan and they won't do that without a refi. She probably gave him the right to refinance it, which would take her off of both the loan and the title. She needs to sign a quit claim deed, which would remove her name from the title. Then he can refi with you and her name with be neither on the mortgage, nor the title.

♥ ANNE 8102 ♥

EW has house. My dumbass (yeah I said it) BF signed away his interest but left himself responsible for the mortgage. I have already told him there is no way I'd even think about marriage or tieing myself up with any of that. I'm with you, what the hell? When I got divorced everything regarding our financial matters was decided and done with before I walked out of the courthouse.

I don't know about LA, but usually in order for lenders to insure their loans, all parties entitled to the property are required to sign the note & mortgage. I'm not sure how he could refi and the lender not require EX to sign? And, I don't know about LA or how they hold title to the property, but even if he left a will, I think you'd only get half of the house. EX would still hold half. You wouldn't want to fight her for it.

Can't believe he would ask you to sign a mortgage on a house you have no legal interest in. Does he need your income to qualify for the loan? I think he should remove EX pronto, but be careful how their settlement agreement reads. She may be entitled to collect money from the refi in order for him to buy her out. Shouldn't stop him at this point, but you should be ready for that if it is the case.

What has his attorney advised him regarding this??

"I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it." Dorothy Parker US author, humorist, poet, & wit (1893 - 1967)

That is what we have to do in Indiana to get an ex-spouse off of the house title and then refinance on top of it.

"God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change; the strength to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."

She might be entitled to a chunk of the change.i would go threw his divorce decree and check that out,When I got divorced we had to sell, so after we paid off the bank we split 50/50 what was left, My now DH on the other hand kept his house, but stll had to Pay her a portion of the equity they had in it. So he had to give her about 20,000 to pay her off and get her name off everything. I guess you could try selling it, divide everything up, and start over with a new home you both feel good about, I give you ladies credit I bought my own home after my divorce, because i knew there was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to live in a home that was built and shared by HER,So a few years later he sold his home, the market was awsome and he came out smelling like a rose,and moved into MY house, lets just say that the EW was Pissed because she lost out on a lot more money she could of gotton,and the house was built on HER grandmas land HA HA Yes I agree with you,this should of been handled right away,now its sounds like it could be complicated and or messy. legally she is indeed intitled to some of that house. I DID NOT refinance my home when we got married because It didn't pay to ( the intrest rate was to good to mess with )BUT we did go a quick deed claim and put his name on the title. keep me posted. good luck, also if something would happen to him, guess what???? guess who gets that house. We are in the process of putting almost EVERYTHING we own in my name because of CS and if something is in his name only she might be intitled to that if something would happen to him.

just reading that. I am sorry to hear about your situation. I don't have any financial advice or anything like that, but I can give you my sympathy and understanding.

Being a girlfriend, fiance, wife to a man with a ex-wife / kids it just plain tough. We are faced with a lot of "tests" in our lives.

Don't you just get so mad at our men who get into these arrangements without giving thought about their future - - more importantly - their FUTURE WIVES.

I feel your pain - my fiance still co-owns the house his ex (and adult) kids live in. (getting the sick feeling again) and he pays 1/2 of the house payment each month.

Here's how he rationalizes it:
"it's an investment - when the market is better it will sell for $$$"
"I promised the kids they would have a place to stay while they are in school bla bla bla. Do you want the kids to stay HERE?!" (hell no)

MY rationalization:
"When you get divorced - you buy out your ex or sell - get another house that SHE can afford."

"Your KIDSzzzzzzz are ADULTS!!!!! Make them leave the nest!"

and other endless rantings that produce no other outcome.

I'm going through a similar thing now too. Ours is more that he has EW as executor of his will, leaving everything to his kids. I'm sure there's house issues that I'm not aware of similar to yours, but I'm not ready to open that can of worms. In fact, lately we've been through alot of crap where she's still all enmeshed in it and I've been a bitch on wheels!!! I've yelled, screamed and been ready to call it quits. But for some as yet unknown reason, I still love my dh with all my heart and we're trying to sort it out.
The problems as I've discussed them with my friends and everyone who'll listen, seem to be that these guys don't move quickly on anything (they're men after all) and they also don't THINK. They don't worry abotu this stuff because they just don't.
Initially I thought my dh was a shady bastard trying to scr*w me over...but in talking to people, I got to see that he's just another dumb man who doesn't think. They don't get offended like we do or feel slighted the same way we do, they just don't. So I would imagine your H just wasn't thinking, you know? I'm not excusing his behavior at all...now that you've brought it to his attention, he ABSOLUTELY must fix things. You should give him a time table to fix this mess and stick to it. It is his obligation to you to make things right...don't let him weasel out of it, and dont let yourself get more financially enmeshed in this disaster...have him fix it.
I know the righteous indignation you're feeling because believe me I'm feeling it myself alot of the time with my dh. But, don't let that anger cloud your thinking. You love him, he loves you, and you can resolve this if you work together as a team.
Good luck!