I have regressed. Lived all those years alone, and yet I can't sleep when DH's away. Maybe tonight it will be better since BS is coming over to have some one on one.
I did drift off from 11:30 to 3. Guess that will have to keep me going.
Now it's too late to go back to bed (have my class at nine.)
BUT
Took Anna to Walmart of all places today. I had to pick up an RX from my DR on the other end of town, so I went to that Walmart. In BM's neck of the woods. I hit that one often actually, but since I go during the day, when BM is supposedly at work, I don't really think about running into her.
So Anna is "helping" to push the cart (DH started this bad habit, now I have a two and a half year old who refuses to ride in the cart.) I walk over to browse some shirts on sale and glance up to see bleach blond hair and instantly feel my hair on my neck stand up.
She glances my way, then quickly away with her,"SHE DOES EXIST!!!!"expression. (Equals deer in headlights appearance.)
On cue, Anna strays from the cart, so in order to alleviate any doubt as to who I am I say, "Anna, honey, come over here to mommy!" She pretended not to know who I was, but booked out of the store soon after.
BUT not before I got to see that she is in fact back to browsing in the plus size pants department. And I am back to browsing in the size 11 JUNIORS department (which we all know is the same as the single digit adult department.) Of course I'm still in large shirts due to the unrelenting weight of the "twins." But...I had my pre-anna jeans on.
I know it's superficial, but I'm not the one who calls me FAT to SD.
It was a good day 
Rented Jane Austin's Book Club tonight. Very chicky, I must be PMS'ing because I kept crying for the young strange girl named "Purdy."
Off to drink coffee before Mental Ill Teen class.
Oh, the dreaded Wal-Mart
Oh, the dreaded Wal-Mart encounters. My bf's ex-wife works at Wal-mart. The one in our town where we all live. She's been there since the day it opened, about 10 years ago. She's a lifer.
The encounter sounds funny from your point of view looking back on it...deer in the headlights then running from the store, being rendered speechless because of your existence... HAH!!!! Granted it was uncomfortable for you and your heart was probably in your throat for a second, but she looked the moron.
Funny Wal Mart Story
AFter BM was released from jail (time before this last prison stint), she told us that she had gotten a job as an editor for the local newspaper. AG contacted her emplyer which was the Sun News and so we assumed that she had really landed a good job for some strange reason. Well SD comes home one day after a visit with the BM and tells us that BM is working at Wal Mart. There is only one Walmart in the town. We assumed it was a second job.
Well, our attorney had asked us to make a trip to go over some things and we were in town without anyone knowing and since it was not for a drop off visit, we did not have any of the kids with us. Well, attorney asked us to stay the night because we were setting up some stuff with a PI. We ran to the Walmart to get some things since we had not planned on staying. Low and behold, BM was sitting at the entrance of Walmart selling newspapers (you know, like the bums on the street do)... She looked shocked to see us, grabbed her papers and took off! I laughed my ass off all the way through Walmart. LAter she tried to tell us that she was filling in for the paper boy who usually sells papers there. And that she only told SD that she worked at Walmart because SD had gone in with the grandparents one day and saw BM selling papers. Duh, that told us that she was always there. It really was hysterical. SHe was so embarrassed.
"Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head." ...Martin Mull
That is hilarious!!!
That is hilarious!!!
Similiar Stop and Shop story...
up until she got pregnant anyway, BM was doing a few hours a week bagging groceries at the Stop and Shop where I ocassionally stop for groceries. Kudos to ME for deliberately avoiding the line she was working so she wouldn't have to be humiliated bagging my food...though I did smile sweetly on my way out...
I had my first face to face
I had my first face to face meeting with BM at Walmart also - it was rather entertaining - I was browsing in the bathroom section looking for towels and mats and the likes when I turn the corner and there she was with both of the girls. Now mind you it was a Sun morning and since I was going to Walmart did not feel the need to really fix myself up to the extent I normally would when leaving the house so I felt like I looked like death warmed over - as bad as I may have looked - I still looked better than her fat ass....lol
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
I was going to run out without a shower, and I'm so glad
I didn't do that!
I have come to expect that if I don't at least look presentable, I will ALWAYS end up running into someone I wish I hadn't!
Once, when BS 11 was only a month or two old, so I was about 30 lbs overweight, I ran into a classmate of mine, that I hadn't seen since high school. This guy was a friend in class, someone I joked with and liked.
We said hi and that was it.
Then the next day I stopped at a former co-workers garage sale because she was giving me some of her sons' nicer outfits rather than sell them. My classmate walked in again! They were neighbors.
So we said hi again and how funny it was to see each other twice in 24 hours after not seeing each other for several years.
Then he says, "Yeah I didn't recognize you at first, but then told my wife we graduated together. She said, 'You did NOT! She looks WAY older than you!'"
My co-worker was like, "Gee...Ken...that was RUDE." He just laughed.
It was however, a great motivator to lose the 30 before our 10 year reunion the next summer!
But boy did my self esteem take a blow.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
stay away from walmart!
thats what i do...everyone goes there. I definately do not want to run into my BF ex! And walmart is the place. So i never go there. Its a pain cus i gotta go to 3 other stores to get stuff i need. But i have never run into her ever. Where is some wood so i can knock on it!
Scarryyyy!
Walmart is like another dimension...
Of time..
Of space...
OF BMS...
Just another reason to add to my already long list of reasons to try to stop buying cheap stuff made in China, filled with toxins!
But man oh man....They have EVERYTHING there.
"Every time I try to get out....the pull me back in!"
The God Father III
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
I know...it's so handy to be
I know...it's so handy to be able to buy motor oil and bras in one stop.
I go to Target now - I think
I go to Target now - I think it's much better then Walmart and the bitch never goes there!!
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
I hate Walmart!!
But it is more convenient than making a few stops. I can never get out of there with a few needed items, always end up with tons more than I need. Should have bought stock there years ago !!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Target is good...
I have just found that whenever I go to EVERY other store to try to avoid Walmart, I end up finding whatever it was AT WALMART. So now I often go there first and save the trips all over town.
Damn them and their cheap interesting stuff! I ALWAYS end up with a cart full too. When people say they do all their grocery shopping there, I think "NO WAY!" I would be spending 300 bucks on groceries a week, once I add in some books, a toy, a shirt, some new towels, and while I'm here I might as well stock up on these cheap frozen pizzas for the deep freeze!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
you said_______ On cue, Anna
you said_______
On cue, Anna strays from the cart, so in order to alleviate any doubt as to who I am I say, "Anna, honey, come over here to mommy!"
________________________
Is Anna your step daughter? Why the need to "alleviate any doubt as to who I am"? I don't understand, doesn't she know who you are?
"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love."
Anna is BD 2 1/2
SD just got back from being gone 5 weeks to my SIL/BILs and then MIL/FILs.
And BM refuses to acknowledge my existence. So though I figured she knew who I was, we've only been in the same room together a handful of times, and then she keeps her distance, and avoids any eye contact.
So I always find it amusing when BM is faced with my actual existencec on the planet. I get the feeling she reacts like that silly M & M commercial, where the M & M sees Santa Clause and they both yell, "He DOES exist!" then pass out.
BM's reaction to having to hear my voice, see me, or see Anna is similar. It sends her into an anxiety reaction.
Interestingly, the psychologist made an offer to her once that BM go through me, since BM claims DH to be so "intimidating". When the Dr asked her, BM admitted I have always been polite and pleasant to her, but did not even acknowledge the offer- just changed the subject.
Sometimes she calls impulsively if DH doesn't pick up (like 5 times in 2 minutes) without leaving a voicemail (which she requires DH to do, and refuses to call him back unless he is detailed with his exact subject of discussion.) But when she wants to talk to him, it's ring ring ring ring ring ring...pause.
RING RING RING RING RING RING...pause....
RING RING RING RING RING RING RING ...pause...
So sometimes when she gets in the habit of doing that, rather than leaving a message, I pick up and answer sweetly.
Then she doesn't do it for a while.
SD's BM is BPD. She creates a false and exaggerated "reality" for herself, forgets any negatives she contributes to a disagreement, uses only absolutes (you NEVER, you ALWAYS) when she and SD or DH are arguing. She also remembers events differently than everyone else, and "forgets" facts if they don't match her perception of the event. She veers back and forth between elevating SD to perfection, and tearing her down as worthless. There seems to be no in between.
So that's a little bit o' BM history for ya.
I know it's petty to feel good about her having to face the reality of my existence... but it does.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
AH! Now it makes sense, LOL,
AH! Now it makes sense, LOL, I was lost. I don't think it's petty to feel good about that, I do think it's petty for her to act like you don't exist when you've been nothing but nice to her. I totally ignore and don't acknowledge my son's step, but she was convicted of harassing and threatening to kill me....so if anything ever happens and she follows through in attempting her threats, my hands are totally clean.
"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love."
Yeah..it often crosses my mind...
That at least my SD's BM hasn't threatened us. Though she has two men vying for her affections and one is a National Guard guy. In the photos that she dumped on her sister's car years ago (that her sister then loaned me to copy b/c BM took all the pics of SD and DH from her first several years) there was a letter from the Nat'l Guard guy. He sounded a little obsessed with her, and commented on how much he hated that she was engaged to the other guy, and pretended that the NG guy was just a friend. So it stays in the back of my mind that he could be a loose cannon, who's trained to kill. BUT at least he hates the exfiance more than us as far as I can tell. Not that I wish that poor guy harm either.
She is still involved with both men, confides in SD about them, and they don't know about the other now (since she and her fiance broke up, NG guy thinks he's the only one and that they will get married.)
It's all so warped and a nice example for SD.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Sita -
I think it's absolutey freaking hilarious! After all that she has put you and your hubby through. A little sweet passive-agressive turn of the knife is exactly is what she has coming !! HEHEHEH
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Thanks...SD found it hillarious!
Of course I left out the part about the 15 pounds I lost that apparently BM seems to have "found."
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Karma IS wonderful isn't
Karma IS wonderful isn't it!
"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love."
that's funny
Grocery store encounter
I was in a grocery store with the older two skids returning cans on one of BF's weekends, When in waddled the BM's auntie. The skids immediately jumped up and said "HI Auntie FATASS!" to her. (the names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent)
BM's Auntie instantly perked up and yelled out "HI!"
THEN. . . she saw WHO the skids were WITH and immediately did the "BM" thing, her head immediately dropped down to stop all eye contact and she immediately stopped talking to the skids; put a REAL sour look on her face (this is 3 years after the break up of BM and BF mind you) PATHETIC!
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