Hi all,
I just have a thought, and perhaps it's totally ridiculous, but it's one I can't shake.
Many stepmoms here have been a bit nervous about posting certain issues or asking for advice on certain things 'in case' the BM finds it and goes wacko.
Also, recently, there have been a few posts from people not really 'in' the stepfamily network so to speak - more outside observers trying to give opinions on things they're not really knowledgeable about first-hand. This has caused some hostility which is understandable.
There are some websites that require acceptance before being allowed to participate. Some of these include 'Second Wives Cafe/Second Wives Club'. They review applications and you have to pretty much prove you are a stepmom to be admitted. They value the members' wishes to be un-stalkable by BM's, exes, people posing as stepparents for one reason or another, etc.
Is this feasible on StepTalk? Is anyone interested in this?
If I am off my rocker please tell me....as I am often these days - thanks!
I'll say.
I've been wanting that since the day I joined a year and a half ago. This is such a wonderful place and Dawn does an amazing job. It would be great to have it a little more, well, protected, though. I'd like to be able, also, to moderate our own blogs, rather than have Dawn have to patrol everything. People who use this site to journal can lock their blogs from comments. People could restrict comments to "buddies only," only ST members or open it to public comments. But you have to remember that this is the brainchild of one woman and these things do cost. Free for us, but not free for her. I'd even be willing to pay a low annual membership fee, if it would allow those sorts of capabilities.
♥ ANNE 8102 ♥
fee
Yeah a small fee to cover website costs would be reasonable. I would be willing to do this as well. good idea
~ Remember it's your life too ~
I'm not technically a step
I'm not technically a step mother. I'm only dating a man with kids. Of course, they're the reason I'm not married to him, so that's kind of why I'm here. Would I still be allowed on here?
Technicality, scmechnicality
I think if you're living the life, whether you have the marriage license or not, you're legit. I think there's a difference between being in a long-term, committed relationship and just dating.
♥ ANNE 8102 ♥
Six years. It's been L O N
Six years. It's been L O N G term.
In my opinion, someone
In my opinion, someone dating a man with kids needs a website like this as much as anyone can! That way they can get lots of different angles on making a decision about further commitment. I wish I'd had a place like this to go to before I took the plunge!
Yes.....A fee!!
If you had to pay a fee before you could post!! How many would really bother? Only someone who needed help would bother to join!! Maybe there should be limited free posts that an unsubscribed member can read, but you can't comment unless you subscribe. The poster has the option to make it free for all or members only!! I love it and the yearly fee would surely help Dawn so much??!! Anne...you are a wonder..LOL
Mustang...don't be silly...you are still in a likened position, and you would have the same issues..dating, de facto or married whats the diff!!
Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*
Also, only people who have bought the
membership can see the names of who's posting. I'm very paranoid and that's why I don't post alot. I like to do private messages because of my psycho BM! But I love to come here to read and check up on everyone, so I would pay a fee.
But even a psycho BM
can pay a membership fee just to get access. In my case, EVERYONE knows I am on here. I know without a doubt that BM would pay a fee to be able to continue to access my blogs.
I would be willing to, but I do not think it would fix the problem. That is why I like myspace and post more details there. I can post things privately and have my page locked down tight. MAybe if we gave more donations to Dawn, things like this would be do-able? Just a thought.
Oh well, I guess for now, I will just have to continue to get bashed by stangers on here. It is worth it! hahaha
"Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head." ...Martin Mull
Great idea tuscanlady,
Great idea tuscanlady, although as of yet my psycho BM has no long term access to on line due to not having a clue how to budget, I think it would be nice to have that more secure measurea, even now I think a fee would be okay- in fact I think I am gonna go ahead and donate tonight, but let's not pay per view cause I would go broke fast!
thank you
There is no reason where logic does not exist
I think that Dawn has covered this before
Can't remember all she said.
BUT...I remember how I landed here. I read "I hate my sd". I don't know if I had to pay a fee to join, or read, if I would be here. NOW I would pay a fee, sure. Now I'm hooked and need a 12 step program!
So I think that's part of why Dawn doesn't close it.
Though some of Anne's suggestions would be good, about letting members privatize their blogs. Don't know how that would work on replies though.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
It would work like blogger.com.
When you post a blog, you can choose to open comments to everyone, only to registered members of blogger.com, only to friends, only to those invited, or to no one. You can choose to have responses posted automatically or you can screen them and decide if they will be posted or not. If you get an inflammatory comment, then you can just delete that comment without having to delete an entire blog. I've had blogs here that went down in flames and I've had to delete the entire blog and all comments instead of just the ones that were inflammatory. So maybe the answer is not to close membership, but just give members the access to mediate their own blogs. And yeah, I'd pay money for that.
♥ ANNE 8102 ♥
That's true
You could have comment moderation. I don't have that on my blog and I do get some spam because of it. The most recent one was a woman named "Rosa Olivier" Who wrote "Piú giú, in fondo alla Tuscolana...!?...passavo per un saluto!"
I was all excited, thinking I had a new Italian friend.
I looked it up and it means, "" Further down, at the south end of Tuscolana...!? I dropped by to say hi"
Evidently many people have received it with no logical explanation. Maybe it's some secret code!!!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
That's the exact same way I
That's the exact same way I ended up here. I was just "surfing" and if I'd had to pay a fee I would have gone to the next website that Google had listed.
Great Ideas
Hi everyone. I noticed this thread this morning. Dawn and I have thought about this many times since starting the site. We agree that something needs to be done but we're just not sure what would be best not just for the users, but the site as well. We want to keep the site as open as possible in order to allow people to find the site from the search engines. We also realize that some people are worried about their family, or the "other side" finding them here. Some of the worries can be diminished through education on how to post, but it would be nice to allow more fine-grained control over the visibility of your content.
Please, anyone with suggestions, keep on posting your ideas. Your ideas and opinions are indispensable.
We do plan on implementing some more controls on the site that hopefully would allow Blog owners to have more control over the visibility of their content. We realize that this is an issue. We (I) just need to find the time to figure out how to implement them.
Before we implement any changes we'll most likely post the planned changes, maybe as a new poll?
So, keep commenting with your ideas. We'll take them all into consideration.
Oh, and before I forget, we do plan on adding moderation to the mix. Either through a voting system, or actually designating moderators. We're tending more towards the voting system, but please post comments on this as well.
Thanks!
StepTalk Admin
aka Dawn's Husband
Obviously, by my first post,
Obviously, by my first post, this site has been a lifesaver for not even a whole week for me, yet. I found it from googling. What about offering a free trial and then after a certain amount of time, having a member fee.
To every thing there is a season.
moderators
Who are the moderators on this site?
moderators?
There are no moderators that I know of - but I would be willing to be one!
~ Remember it's your life too ~
I like the idea
Of having a limited free trial. We have enough members who love to be here now (surely thousands??) We should be given an option to have our blog public or private. The really sensitive issues could be for members only and the "rant" posts where we have a little whinge about something, or just a bad day we could make public. I would like more privacy I always end up going back and deleting blogs for fear of someone working out who i am by reading my situation, and thats a shame because I would have liked to have kept my whole blog to look back on what I have been through and the advice I have received.
Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*
If anything new is done with with this site......
Yall make sure that I'm aware of the changes !!! Don't leave me out !! My opinion is I don't give a rats a** who reads my posts whether BM or SD or DH or anyone, I post truth and maybe a little spoon of the truth is just what the doctor ordered!!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Me Too
I don't really care if BM reads my stuff. She can all she wants...and she would be able to register too because she is technically a step mom too so in cases like mine there is no foolproof way to know. I never ever use names in anything so legally she can read all she wants and there is nothing she can do about it because I am not slandering someone that isn't even named. I don't use my name either although most of you know my name by now.
I do think that it wouldn't hurt to have moderators here and of course I think, myself included, everyone would be willing to do that.
But surely
at some time or stage Dawn and Dawns DH should be able to charge for all the work they do? I am sure this cost them as much time as it does money and the donations and advertising can't amount to much? I would be happy to pay a small fee yearly to contribute to something that has helped myself and many others to get ahead in these situations
and to have an added bonus of more privacy would be great!! I don't much care if my BM reads either although she would just cause problem's I don't need in my life, but there are loads of people on here who go through many legal battles and can't afford to have a very honest public blog 
Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*
Oh Please for the love of
Oh Please for the love of all things good in this world Dawn and Ladies NEVER let Steptalk become the evil hell-hole that the Second Wives Cafe has become! Its gone from being a well respected Site run by caring people to a joke run by bitter Bio-bitches. In the back Moderator forums they joke about, make fun of and are downright cruel and disgusting towards members problems. Former mods have been quoted a saying "what you See written in there would make you violently ill".
They go as far as to spy on what other forums members are Signed up on, they have MANY times actually deliberately and maliciously passed on information from posts to people Such as ex wives and ex husbands listed on the very bloody list they crow about, the "D. not admit" list, that is supposed to protect members, an in the name of "punishing" some imagined "wrong doing."
While @ Steptalk you see healthy venting, @ the ole Cafe their are literally thousands of posts where these women are not just borderline but downright abusive to their Stepkids.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/urlarchive/70/secondwivescafe.com/
There's just an example of some of the crap that goes on. That was last Its only got worse Since.
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