I read all the posts and although I am new here I feel like Im getting to know all of you. I feel your pain and laugh at your incredible humor. There are some very interesting brilliant posters here and I appreciate reading how you handle the challenges you face. My situation is with adult stepchildren. Ive shared my story about the 36yr old sd trying to destroy our marriage. In a sense she has succeeded even though I put up a good front. Ive stubbornly protected our home and family when she attacked our character. This women is like an evil exwife........always lurking somewhere. We have had nothing to do with her for 2yrs now and I was finally healing from her brutal verbal attack on us. Then low and behold, she wants her Daddy back. She is getting married and probably wants money. Her Dad wants nothing to do with her. She has repeatedly come in and out of his life only to destroy everything he has built up. I dont understand how she can even think that we could have a relationship with her. Now she thinks Im coming between her and her Dad. She is sending certified letters as she thinks Im going to intervene. As usual she wants to insult me. For the record this woman accused my husband of rape,beatings....and me of horrible things,then turns around and sends him mushy cards about what a wonderful father he is. Then it was ...can I have money? I know Im rambling, but this whole situation, which is deeper than I can talk about here, has taken away a very sacred part of me. I cant see love and life the same way anymore. My husband and I are close and he has been so good to me and my family. I just find it hard to understand how people let things get so out of hand. I love my Bkids so much I could not imagine this happening with them. So a part of me hurts for my husband but a part of me wonders. Thanks for letting me vent..
Where is
Where is her mother?She is old enough now to realize her behavior.And if she wants to continue this way then i wouldnt want to speak with her either and always remember that you and your husband have a right to be happy and do not have to put up with a childish 36 year old.What will the problems be down the road if you allow her back in your life think about that first.Will she accuse your husband again and keep trying to ruin your life.She has no concern for her own father to be happy so let her go on with her own life and dont sign for any letters.She is 36 and she should have grown up a long time ago!!!
Amen!!! Thankyou thankyou!
Amen!!! Thankyou thankyou! You sumed it up perfectly. She has done this to him time and time again. I feel very sorry for her Mother,as she is still in her life. Her Mother respects my husband and I and most likely agrees with our position. Ironically I like her Mother and she is in another state with SD. Thankfully! My husband bless his heart declined the mail. Ive been around the block a few times..lol, but I never encountered someone deliberately try to bully me this badly. Thankyou Sam, I feel validated and can let this go once again.
Always here to help
You are very welcome and i am so happy i helped you make that step.
Well, Let's See..
Sounds like "professional victim" to me. One of the last words that my 18sd said to me was "YOU OWE ME". My responce, Owe you to get M-M out of my house, out of my life - good luck !! SINK OR SWIM
My SD only calls BH when their is something wrong in her pitiful excuse for a world, you know when she had her 5th wreck and needed another car, or when her car got broke into...bla bla bla I'm sure if the day ever comes that daddy dearest will pay for her wedding too, after all it customary. (Customary - Whatever!!) GET A LIFE !!
I totally understand. She sent BH fathers day card that read to the affect of "I'm just like you in many ways bla bla bla thanks for the lessons bla bla bla - I hope she is getting a lesson, know what I mean?
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Ladies, I'm wondering as I read your posts
about these 'adult' (and of course I use that term loosely) stepadaughters who just continue to wreak havoc on their fathers' lives forever...
Are these the same horrible teenagers that some of us are dealing with right now?
Does it never get better?
I know I heard some people say to me with regard to my middle SD16, "Oh, it's a phase. I'm sure once she's in her 20's, she'll mature into a nice young adult."
But with this kid who is just an extremely awful child- I just see your stories in MY future. And whenever I read your posts, I just hang my head and think, "This is NEVER going to end, is it?"?
I'm so sorry you have to continually deal with these awful, toxic people in your lives.
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
Thankyou for all of your
Thankyou for all of your replies. Stepwitch, your sd sounds just like mine with the card thing. I think its just to set themselves up for the next call asking to be bailed out for some other money drama. And 5teens, Im praying it is just a phase. Hopefully you can set some healthy boundaries so she can mature into a nice young adult. Mine came into my life a very seasoned and cunning person. Have a good weekend everyone!
ending
"This is NEVER going to end, is it?"? Probably not. My oldest SS is 29 and SD is 25 and there hasn't been and ending yet. Birds of a feather do flock together and toxic people always attrack toxic people. My Skds grew up and got married to other toxic people and now they have toxic children of their own.
LOL, Since SD claims to be
LOL, Since SD claims to be getting married, (last marriage lasted 8 months 15yrs ago) I feel like sending her fiance a sympathy card. Im wishing her all the happiness she has wished her Dad and I. Which was none! Maybe she will aquire a couple of steps and an exwife to keep her busy and out of our hair. I dont know any of the details, since we are not asking.
God this sounds so familiar.
God this sounds so familiar. My hubbys two daughters only ring up when they want money. They pretend to be nice, but just like their horrible mother they only want money. It would go on and on but ive put my foot down and between us we have decided that they are getting nothing at all. Get your hubby to refuse to give her any money and that should make sure she stays away. Some girls like to keep daddy all for themselves and do not want to see them happy with anyone else. Keep this spiteful woman at arms length, if she can lie and make up stories like that, she will stop at nothing to make sure she has daddy and his money all to herself again. Dont feel bad about it either as I can assure you she does not give a sh*t about you and your marriage. Put yourself and your hubby first. Sod her, she sounds like scum.
Wow thought my aunt had it bad...
My aunt married this guy with 2 young daughters and raised them like her own. She helped pay for private schools,college,weddings ect not to mention all the free time she gave up to help raise 2 young kids because their BM was a deatbeat and ran off with a younger man. Now here is the kicker as soon as these "kids" turned 18 they moved across the country to "heal" their relationship with "mom" and help her out as she was "all alone"(the young stud had long left her for greenier fields). But they allways knew to come to daddy for money. My aunt's husband died 5 yrs ago and since then she has not seen or heard from the daughters.
Catalina what gets me thru difficult times and I have many(read my posts) is to remember you can't control what others say or do only how you respond. It sounds like you have a wonderful (and smart) husband thats not allowing his daughter to bully herself back in. So many dads will turn a blind eye to their kids behavior just because their "family".
Foo
Foo
Skds
One thing that rips the adult SDS apart and causes a lot of bitter blood is to think that SM is going to walk away with their inheritance. In my situation my H came into the marriage with the shirt on his back and his paycheck. He already gave BM his home, blood, children, and a sack of gold every month for 15 years. What we have accumulated together is all that he has and they will not get it until I am gone and only then depending on how they treat me. Unfortunately for H, BM has always used our money to buy their love and devotion. I wonder what she will offer them when the money train jumps the track in one year.
That is funny too ....Inheritance???
Because my DH had NOTHING when I married him. The house I purchased and it is totally in my name. All of his money goes for the care of his children. He doesn't own a thing. So what would these kids want. Half of what I purchased? I don't think so. They will get a small portion of what little DH leaves me. He has 5 kids 2 of which where already grown when I married him. What am I supposed to do give all 5 MY belongings. Oh hell no!!!
"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"
Water tight
My fabulous female lawyer set me up with a prenup (thats says what I had when we met will always be mine alone) and a family trust to put the house in when I married DH.
Sparky, this is my thought process on inheritance..
I think of my two parents. Both are still living. When one passes (heaven forbid not for a while)but, when one passes, I as one of the children, would not expect the surviving parent to give me money, that money does not belong to me. So same applies to me and hubby. Should he pass before me (biting my tongue) I feel 0 obligation to just give that money to our kids, let alone, my nasty little grown (giggle when I type grown)SD. Now, of course if he starts putting money away in her name, that's fine, but as I see it, What is mine is hubby's and what is hubby's is mine - not Bkids or Skids. Does this make sense, My prayer is for my kids not to expect or need an inheritance, I want them to grow up and rely on themselves. Poor Poor little SD, I guess that will just have to be another life lesson, in that BM didn't demonstrate. WHERE'S MY MONEY YOU OWE ME !! That is probably something she has heard from BM since her earliest memory. HOW SAD !!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Children & Inhertiance- It's UGLY
This is why I sometimes really have utter disdain for people- GREED
Even adult children feel they are entitled to their parent's money/assets/houses/jewelry, etc.
They start fighting about it well before the parent is even deceased!
How many families have been torn apart and never spoken again because of simple greed?
Check out this for an ugly example:
My mother called me yesterday to tell me that her aunt, 93-years- old, called her in tears to say that her 65-year-old son was moving away to Florida, leaving her all alone in PA.
"Why would he do that to her?" I ask.
"Because she refuses to sign her house over to him, and he doesn't want his daughter (her granddaughter) getting the house when she dies!"
Apparently the granddaughter & her family are the ones who take care of her every day, so my aunt left her house to her in the will, but HE feels entitled to the money as the SON!
But wait, it gets better! He then threatened to go to court to say she's mentally unfit so he can take over her finances forcefully instead. (My grandaunt is sharp as a tack!)
Can you believe this crap? All over GREED.
I say screw entitlement and inhertance for your kids (unless you have a disabled child who can't take care of themselves).
Instead, spend ALL your money, create HUGE DEBT, and give them a PROJECT to work on when your dead!
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
It always comes down to
It always comes down to money. In my case Im going to make out a will/living will stateing sd and ss will not be able to come near me. I came into this marriage with my own money and career but was treated like a gold digger. The SDs 11yr old son told me he has dibs on Grandpas house the first time he met me. I almost died!! LOL It got even better from there. I can only imagine what the poor kid was hearing. My kids were raised to believe in making their own fortunes. They are well on their way. Take care everyone, and thankyou!
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