Step Talk

She’s baaaacccckkk! And all the drama that goes along with her. Actually it started before she even came back from her 3-week camp.

Recap: She was playing her usual ‘games’ with DH, who finally put his foot down and set firm consequences as a result of her bad behavior (even from 300miles away at camp).

Well, princess didn’t like that her big, bad, mean daddy imposed those consequences on her and figured, “Hey, I’m at camp- 300 miles away- to hell with him!” So she didn’t comply.

But she DID expect that daddy (and I) would be there for the camp’s parent’s production (it was an acting camp). DH told her flat-out he wasn’t going but didn’t explain. Truth was, if she didn’t comply with his requests and care about HIM, why should HE go out of his way and drive 3 hours up to see her (a proportional response)? And I agreed. And I was proud of him, too!

Here’s the kicker. Her BM was supposed to go up to see her (only because it was the day before BM was picking her up from the final day of camp anyway). Promised her that she was going to see her on Friday night. Guess what happened on Friday night at 1am? DHs phone starts vibrating on the night stand. He didn’t hear it at first, so it went to voice mail. He listens to it and it’s SD16 wondering where BM is. She didn’t show and no one- not her BM or her other two sisters (who also went up with BM), are not answering their cell phones (GAMES). He wasn’t going to deal with this at 1am- he went back to sleep.

In the morning SD16 called back, trying to find out where everyone was, again relaying the story that NO ONE (implying her dad, too) was there for her last night and no one would answer her calls. DH doesn’t get into a debate, but says, “Your mother told me she and your sisters were going, so you should find out from her why they weren’t there.”
She hangs up on him.

Now darling SD is back. DH has a long talk with her. She’s angry with ME because she says it was me who convinced DH not to go up to see her. DH tells her, “Wrong- it was your own bad behavior and YOU treating me with constant disrespect which convinced me not to go out of my way to see you. You better start looking in the mirror at your own behaviors and stop looking for others to blame.”

WOW! Yeah DH! I was so proud.

Then DH goes on to say, “By the way, I told you right out I was not coming to see your show. I never promised that I would. On the other hand, your BM did promise and then, once again, didn’t show (very typical MO)- and didn’t even call you to tell you she wasn’t coming. And then played games with you. But you don’t seem to be angry with her- just me.”

Her response, “Oh dad, you know that’s just how mom is.”

DH didn’t even try to respond to that one. He knows he simply can’t- that’s what we’re up against. But I am very proud of him for sticking to his guns and for starting to see that he has to change his approach when it comes to this one (and all his daughters, for that matter).