Step Talk

Before I would approach DH about the issue again, I would seek out maybe one or two attorneys who deal with this and see what the "norm" is and then present the "facts" to him....but my initial reaction would be 50/50 as well....the only other question is if something happens to both of you, who will be the SS guardian?

should we both die at the same time, SS12 gets half of our life insurance policy. now, it is my understanding that money from life insurance policies are also meant to help support the children and give them an income in order for them to survive once their parents are gone. this also, doesn't sit well with me. i mean, our daughter would obviously need the money to live, but SS would already be taken care of and i'm concerned he would just blow the money on material things....

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

Those guys have all the options and answers...and ways to make it fair so that your BD won't have to deal with SS....

This is for everything from how much we spend on gifts to life insurance... we figure out how much we have going to our two, then set aside half that for the skids. Reason is the same as what you pointed out... the skids get from two sets of parents while our kids only get from one set of parents. But I'm blessed with a DH who sees that it's not fair to punish our two for having an intact family and not necessary to overcompensate the skids for being children of divorce.

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ANNE 8102 ♥ GEORGIA

and i think you both have great points...if u both die, god forbid, ur little girl will need taken care of. ur SS will still have his mom and that family, so i think the way anne does it sounds perfectly fair.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

i really like anne's and her DH's way of seeing things. i will try talking to my DH about this idea, but something tells me it will turn into another big 'why don't you like my son?' fight. #$@!!

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

My Bsons are grown and upon death I have a separate life insurance policy I had since they were children. I feel my skids get enough from me now that I am alive. I want whatever personal belongings I have to go to my grand daughters. They will cherish it much more,. I do more for my skids now then their own parents. Upon my death they will probably still have BOTH of their parents so no I don't feel my skids should get a thing from me.

"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"

Our estate planner explained it like this "These 3 kids were from DH and BM's union, which was settled in their divorce, instead of settled by death, and these children (ours together) are from your union now, which will be settled upon your deaths." So...my DH has a separate life insurance policy for his 3 kids from his previous marriage (similar to Cru's).

I would explain that YOUR estate should go to YOUR child together.. HIS estate should be shared amongst ALL his children.. so his estate should be split 50/50, yours should soley go to her. So.. if you own the house together, that is 50% yours and 50% his. Your daughter therefore should get 75% of the house (Your 50% and 1/2 of his 50%). Plain and simple.

I would also go out and buy another insurance policy to cover expenses for JUST your daughter.. Tell him , dont tell him, doesnt matter, I would just do it. Take out a $500k in case on both you and your dh and leave it all to her. Have her as the owner of the policy, and make the payments. That is what I would do, should my dh insist on a 50/50.

and if i were to take out a separate policy just for her, he would know about it and the argument would start. here's crossing our fingers that we both don't die a the same time.

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.