Early on in our relationship I requested (insisted) that DH reimburse BM for medical expenses and whatnot (extras) ONLY if she provided a receipt. I did this because I was able to prove that she was asking him for the full amount for the cost of a sporting event instead of his "half". I'm kind of curious what other things she might be trying to slip by us. Has anyone else had this experience?
I guess that's another good question...What have you told BM to pay for herself because it should be included in c/s?
Uh, everything.
There's no such thing as "extras." The child support includes anything and everything a child NEEDS for survival. Parents, whether they are NCP's ordered to pay CS or CP's receiving CS, are not required to pay for extras. In intact families, if there's not enough $$$ to send Junior to soccer camp, then Junior doesn't go. You are only obligated to pay whatever is in the court order. My DH pays $800/mo for two skids, plus 1/3 of all uninsured medical/dental/orthodontic. We pay nothing without a receipt. We pay zip, zero, zilch, nada for "extras." Why? Because THERE IS NO SUCH THING! You only have to pay for what you are ordered to pay. If it's not in the court order, then you don't have to pay it.
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ANNE 8102 ♥ GEORGIA
"agreed upon extras"
i think some plans have a clause to the effect of "50/50 for any agreed upon extra" something blah blah...thats the key w this one too...agreed upon. so if u cant afford it, dont agree and then youre not required to pay. im w anne...CS is supposed to cover all that...music lessons, camp, etc. its just another way for some BMs to get even more money from the BFs when they probably cant even afford the CS to begin w.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
I agree and that was my
I agree and that was my original point with DH. He has stopped falling into the "trap" of paying for HALF of things. He is required to pay for ALL the medical premiums and half of out of pocket expenses. I still can't wrap my brain around that one. He also pays for 1/4 SD private school. I guess it was set up with her parents that they would pay for half of the tuition for all the children and when they split they also split their half. I really don't agree with that either but we only have one more year left. DH finally stopped agreeing to pay for half of every little frivalas expense she came up with. Yearbooks, sports sweatshirts/jerseys, bithday presents for their friends, etc... I figured $1,300 a month should more than cover his half of raising his kids while in her home and then we still need to pay for them in our home! Man, she really had him snowed. Unfortuantely since Wicked has come along to set things straight...it just giveBM the excuse to make DH look like the bad guy when she tells them that "Mommy pays for eeeeeeeeverything" She fails to mention that Mommy pays for everything with Daddy's money.
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"All power is from within therefore under our control." - Robert Collier.
We pay
nothing more than child support. NOTHING!!!!
BM
Pays only her child support and is court ordered to pay a percentage of the Dr bills. Luckily for us the Dr bills haven't been too much so we have none to send her although I doubt she would pay anyway. She still owes DH arreages and Attorney's fees that she refuses to address. We don't ask for extra although if you seen what she tried to suck out of DH when she thought she was getting support you would be amazed. She wanted ALL of DH's check for all kinds of things that now that the tables are turned and he has custody she is singing a different tune.
BM in her twisted mind actually thinks that any birthday or Christmas gifts we purchase for the kids comes from her too since she pays CS. She even wanted to stay on the phone while they opened up gifts that DH spent our time and money purchasing. DH told BM it is OUR party and she is not invited. We would be more than glad to set aside all the gifts she bought the kids and let them open them up when she called. She never sent one thing. At the time she was only sending $100.00 per month per kid in CS!!!! How could she even expect that would pay for all of the children's needs a month PLUS gifts?????
The last time I checked CS does NOT cover gifts from BM. It is there for children's needs!!! I think she is being cruel to the kids not buying them any gifts. My SS looked for at least a card from her on his birthday. The only time she ever sent a card on his birthday was only because the birthday fell right before the court hearing. Now that there isn't a court hearing both phone calls and gifts are not to be seen again. What a hypocrite this woman is.
"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"
You're absolutely
right Cruella----gifts are different. Christmas, birthday, graduation gifts, etc. IMO aren't covered by child support.
I agree with the gift issue.
I agree with the gift issue. You would buy your child a gift no matter where they live as a child or when they move out as an adult. I just didn't appreciate her scheduling the kids to go to parties on our time that we then have to take them to, pick them up from and buy a gift for! UGH! I'd like to say "you wouldn't believe the crap she has come up with for these kids to do" but I'm sure you steps have seen it all!
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"All power is from within therefore under our control." - Robert Collier
I wouldn't like that either
No one should dictate what you do on your time with your skid. DH should have time free and clear.
"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"
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