Step Talk

to discipline his kid, i'd be relieved. but i don't. i have authority without power. and it's demeaning. be thankful he has handed you the reins. at least he's giving you the impression that you can be in control if you choose. i realize you were probably counting the minutes and looking forward to the break with their departure, but if you're stuck with them, then put up with no more shit. i, personally, do not agree with spanking. at any age. but that is for you and your DH to talk about. but it sounds like you are free to lay down the law. and there are many ways to discipline kids without having to spank. take away privileges. 'go to your room'. 'dish duty' dog poop duty. no tv, computer, phone calls, etc. get the picture? it's your house and if you have to deal with them all day while he works, i'd be reading the riot act to them and enforcing it. just make sure you DH means what he says and isn't going to undermine you when he gets home.

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

I have always had "permission" to enforce the rules reguardless of bloodline- nephews, nieces, cousins, bio or step-I come up with some wonderful punishments though- cleaning out under the deck, the crawl space(a big lie right to my face- nothing urks me so bad), dog poop picker upper with a small shovel(2 big dogs= lots of trips)---I have spanked both of the older children on very rare occassions, I was spanked as a child and do not feel it screwed me up- heck I got the message pretty quick but as for my children the worst thing is making them do really cruddy work- they still remember what they did years after in some cases.

There is no reason where logic does not exist

You don't need anyone's permission to discipline children who are left in your care, but since your DH gave you his, anyway, then go for it. No, don't spank them, but definitely lay down the law and start meting out punishment to anyone who breaks that law. If BM has a problem with you disciplining her children, then maybe next time she won't leave them with you. If it's that big a deal to her, then I guess she'll have to take it up with your DH. I understand his POV as far as not wanting to send them any more than he has to and it's just a few extra days, but he was wrong, wrong, wrong not to check with you before committing you to babysit. He's wrong on that, but you're wrong about the discipline. It's your house. Take it back. Set some rules and let the skids know what the punishment will be if they don't follow them. Restricting privileges for bad behavior is not ammunition that she could ever use against you, unless she's trying to prove that you're a good, responsible stepparent.

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ANNE 8102 ♥ GEORGIA

I wouldnt.....especially if you are watching skids when BM should be. I have had skids for over 5 weeks now and believe me, If i couldnt disipline them, forget it. Otherwise BF would need to watch them. IF i hired a babystitter I would expect them to disipline. What good would it be to even have a babysitter if they had free run of the place?

Last nite skids were shooting dogs with pellet gun......BF was out. I took the run and sent them to their rooms. I didnt buy that dumb thing! Not sure who did, but they cant have it back. SOme one here said something like "my house my rules". I totally agree.

fo some it is spanking, some it is grounding etc. I was spanked as a child and no one is above a spanking if it is deemed necessary. My H likes to pop on the back of the calf of the leg where it stings. Now as ss has gotten older that is only a temporary discomfort so that is used less and less. If you are the responsible adult in charge of their care you deal with them how you see fit. I understand your husband not minding them being with yall longer but he should have checked with you as well. Hold on only 4 more days!

but then I spank my own children as well. SS4 is a hellion and extremely strong-willed...sometimes spanking him is the only way to stop the behaviour. With my older kids/skids, I use chores as punishment. I feel that discipline needs to be consistent and ever present or things get out of hand pretty quickly. If he's given you the green light, well, I say run with it.

I realize that being "stuck" til Friday really sucks but hang in there!! With enough bad behaviour, your house could be sparkling clean by the time Friday rolls around.

"I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."

work around the house sounds very good. Anyone ever had to wash base boards??? Now that's a good one or how about pulling weeds. Washing windows inside and out. Wow, alot of things are popping into my head. Just to let you know spanking is a last resort. Skids are acting better today so far, but DH just left for work so that may be only temporary. I've got alot of disiplinary ideas but the chore is getting them to do it. Got any ideas on motivation? Skids tend to roll their eyes and ignore me. This always seems to happen when they know they are going to visit BM. We'll see how things go between now and bedtime. Wish me luck.

Yup, taking away prized toys and priveleges like watching TV, playing video games, and TALKING do wonders for the sullen and backtalkers.

The nice thing about giving cars, computers or expensive video games is that you can take them back! Works great on my wayward teens too.

~Evil

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren

You were looking forward to your reprieve and your pissed about the whole thing-you have every right to be. I have been there! Funny how you are just the "step parent" with no real say (especially in BM's eyes), yet it all gets put on you to take care of them. Why can't BM's just stick to the agreements instead of always making everything into a drama or an ordeal? We are not babysitters for crying out loud! That being said, it is your house and your rules! you are the adult and the law needs to be laid down. If BM has a problem with it, your H will be the FIRST to hear about it! Then it will be his job to tell her if she doesn't like it....take the kids when you are supposed to. On BF's time, he can have whomever he wants watch his children weather she agrees with it or not. Hold your ground. Oh BTW...I have never spanked my skids either-just felt like crossing a boundry for me ( I wouldn't want my son's step mom to do that to him)