Step Talk

I don't understand why you would want to take a child away from their mother when their father is not there. She does not have to hand the child over to you unless its ordered by the judge. I have to say if I were the BM I would fight you over it. Even a POW or a POA is not going to give you the right to pick up a child that does not belong to you and knowing the BF is not around to see the child.

Interesting. I am a custodial SM and I wouldn't think if DH were to be deployed the children should go around the world to BM in another country. Their home should stay their home. In my case however their are laws to protect DH and any court proceedings that BM may do to change that situation.

I don't know what the laws are in your case. You may want to check with an Attorney.

"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"

Every situation is so different. I would look at it as a nice break from the Skids, but if they have siblings at your house, etc...then I could see why you would want to nuture those relationships...

On DH's vistation time he should be able to have a say that the children still comes to his home so to keep up relationships with other parts of the family such as siblings. I think it is is still his weekend however we as Step Parents have very little rights legally so who knows. If you find out please let us know. This post has my full attention.

"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"

Looking at this from the BM role...My exH is currently deployed overseas and when he comes home for a two week visit he intends to get married to his current girl friend, so then she will be my son's SM. My point of view is that my custody / visitation agreement is between me and my exH and NO ONE ELSE.

There have been a couple times over the years that I let my son visit with his grandmother and aunt (my exH's mom and sister), but that was simply because they actually made an effort to maintain a good relationship with me and my son even though my exH had made a choice not to be a part of our son's life for over 8 years.

I'm sorry, but to be brutally honest, as the BM faced with this situation, there is no way in H*LL I would let my son go for visitation with his SM if his dad wasn't there.

And having been a step for a while (even if H and I had a child that would have been a half-sibling) there is no way I would even contemplate having the SKids for scheduled visitation if their father wasn't there.

I don't ever recall a time when I actually desired to be alone with his chilren for any great length of time. An hour or two is a far cry from a whole weekend without him there.

I know not every situation is like mine, but this one is just something I have a hard time wrapping my head around.

Sorry, I didn't have any words of encouragement on this issue, but sometimes hearing arguements from the other side can be helpful, too.

I wish you good luck in however you decide to proceed with this.

Don't make me get my flying monkeys!!!

I guess it would really depend on the relationship the child and the SM have and whether or not there are 1/2 siblings involved? I think if you have a good relationship w/the child, you should continue to foster it by taking him out for a meal or find something to do w/him (if BM allows it) other than a full weekend.
I think it is this kind of shit that does not foster a good relationship between the skids and SM. It undermines the relationship actually. I probably would not force the issue if the BM is acting like an idiot. Hopefully it wont deteriorate the relationship you have w/the child already.

Unless you are named in the custody agreement as having custody or visitation rights yourself, them I'm afraid BM is right. You have no right to visitation in his absense. Having a POA will not change that.

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ANNE 8102 ♥ GEORGIA

DF left for a six month deployment, and drafted a Special POA in regards to his children. It enabled me to pick them up and drop them off in his absence. Take them to the hospital, pick up meds, everything. Maybe the mom (not maybe, she did) viewed me as a free babysitter. I had them every other weekend, half of November, Thanksgiving break, week after Christmas, the works. She didn't fight it, and encouraged me to let her know if I wanted the kids outside of the EOW schedule. They are now back with us full time, and she will be seeing them for one (1) day EOW. But while he was deployed, mom took them.

I would talk to both your DH and BM together and try to work this out so SS does not suffer, esp if he has a close relationship with you. No power plays, no one throwing their weight around, just 3 mature adults working towards the best interest of a child.