OK I took some advice that I received here about answering the phone when BM calls to get her to strat calling less. Maybe today wasn't the day to start!
DH has been irritated with BM letting SD16 drive under her interpretation of the law. They exchanged emails and for whatever reason...DH just blew the other night. He sent BM a really honest email about the way he feels about how she is with the kids, her invasion of our home while they are here and her part in the demise of their marriage. I told him he was poking the bear and we were going to get hit hard but I wasn't sure how. Today the SK's come 'til Monday. Durring the school year the SK's come at 3 and durring the summer they have always come at 4. In the last year I read the agreement to find out about some holiday and discovered that the SK's are suppose to come from 4-9 on the Th. they do not spend the weekend and 5 on the Th. they spend the weekend. DH said it was a typo and they always come at 4. In the last 5 years they have been 10-15 minutes late on occasion but never a whole hour. DH called SD16 and she swears she thought it was 5, always had been. SD11 shows up (BM dropped her off even though she was supposed to be working) and she swears she thought it was 5, always had been (BM's brainwashing). BM calls from her cell to his cell within minutes to say that she was dropping off at 5 because thats what the agreement said. He argues that it has never been 5 and she argues back, he hangs up. Why would she be calling to let him know why she was doing it if that was the way things had always been? BM calls back on my home phone and I (for the first time) answered. Boy was she nasty. I said he wasn't available, could I take a message, and she told me to stay out of it! Out of what? I was answering my phone! DH had a small procedure today and had no need for her harrassment.
Punch line: She called AGAIN and left a message telling him to stop being a narcissist! That's hysterical! I wonder if because she is using such big words it means she's getting therapy? I can't beleive she had the nerve to call him a narcissist!
Thanks for letting me vent. I needed to get that one out. This weekend ought to be fun. I'm just sitting here with the phone, computer and the remote. Pretty soon I'll be adding Rum and diet coke to my little stake out.
Oh
Do you want to drive her totally insane??? Forward all of calls from your home to your cell phone. Put a cheery little message on it.
Honestly what can anyone do? You have a right to be able to forward your phone to whatever number you want when you are not home and the woman would HAVE to hear your cheery little voice. As long as she can leave a message no one can do a damn thing.
Bwhaaaaaaaah ha hahah a (Evil Cruella laugh)
"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"
OH CRUELLA!
I love it! That is a FANTASTIC idea! Just the thought gives me the giggles!
As I mentioned before, I am now seriously thinking of getting the SK's a cell phone just for her calls. I just hate that woman.
I'm still all shook up. I could hear her on the phone yelling at DH and he just told me she was telling him that if he didn't calm down she would have to hang up on him! Basically he was just repeating the same thing over and over which was not what she wanted to hear.
I have never had to deal with anyone like this. She really is making me question my own sanity.
I have one that I deal with too
I am using featuress on the phone for our defense. I have had to deal with a Professional Victim BM. She would call when she wanted to call at times she knows when we were not home and leave these stupid messages. "OH Children I HOPE your father will give you my messages" or My personal favorite "Oh Children I have been TRYING to call you every day and your Dad is obviously not letting you talk". She wasn't calling!!! We would all just look at each other and shake our heads. The kids are the main users of the home telephone. All of their friends call. They are on the phone ALL of the time. This infuriated me.
What I did is get my phone through my local cable company. They have a way to track all of the phone calls. I knew she was taping these messages that she was leaving behind to attempt to use them in court as proof she was calling. The phone company has an internet call tracking application. All phone calls incoming and outgoing are regisitered. So now the kids know for sure their mother is lying. Also with that came with the ability to forward calls. BM does not want to talk to DH. So now when we are not home we forward all calls to DH's cell phone. Now she can't say she calls and no one answers the phone.
Seriously your Skids BM doesn't want to even know your existence. I would let her get the answering machine and collect the nasty messages but be sure it is YOUR voice she is hearing.
My home phone has my voice saying "This is Cruella's family home phone". It is in a very annoying perky tone. he he hehe
"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"
I think thats the wack jobs
I think thats the wack jobs defense- they make us wonder if we jumped off the deep end.
when you forward those messages you should use cruellas troll phrase!
There is no reason where logic does not exist
I read that tag line when I
I read that tag line when I started a few weeks ago and just loved it! Laughed like crazy! BM is such a troll.
I love it - my fiancee
I love it - my fiancee refers to his ex as TROLL, never by her actual name!! She really looks like one too -
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
stay out of it???
just another fine example of a jealous, vindictive BM not wanting stepmom to have any part in the relationship at all. it is your f***ing business!!!
our BM did this once...i answered his phone bc she had just picked her up and texted and then called and i was sick of her crap and we got into it after she started getting shitty w me. we were arguing over pickup times. i said i read the papers and i know what they say. she told me i had no business reading those custody papers. i said...i read the papers, and it IS my business and hung up. she didnt call back
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
I wasn't aware
That custody papers weren't documents made to the public and that it was against the law for us SM's to read. What a freaking idiot this BM is!!! Of course it is your business. Everything and anything going on in your home is your business. I love these BM's calling YOUR home telling you that messages left and the turmoil they cause is none of your business. Geesh!!!
"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"
oh it kills me too
i guess its insecurity but u know what? GET OVER IT ALREADY! if she would open her eyes and start thinking about her she would see that SD and i have a good relationship and love each other. i take care of her. she doesnt care. shes just pissed another woman is in her kids life. maybe if she focused on being a better mother she would have nothing to feel insecure about.
most of them are first class morons.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Oh Cruella if I could only
Oh Cruella if I could only channel you in my moment of need! I have a feeling we could really take her out.
Yep, today is the day. I either need to get a cheap cell phone on my family plan (to be able to track) or figure out how to legally record our phone calls. Before that I will change our outgoing message to my voice instead of the nice preset opperator we have now. Thank you for callling the Wicked Household...." Household, that fry her.
I know she refuses to believe I exsist and I can't believe I have allowed her to live in fantasyland for 5+ years. In my defense I was busy having babies of my own, but unfortunately for her, I'm back and better than ever! She's goin' down! Oh I am pumped up today!
Thanks for getting me back in fighting shape fellow steps!
Legally Recording Phone Calls
Go to Radio Shack and talk to the guys there. You can purchase a tape recorder and a phone adapter. The tape record must have the ability to use the phone adapter.
As far as legal. Well in my state only one person has to consent to the legal taping of phone calls. In other words DH can tape his phone calls with BM without her knowlege. Some states require both parties consent. I googled it. You can never tape record your skids conversation because that would be third party taping and that is illegal. Then there are the BM's that have no clue of what the law is. BM was taping ALL conversations with DH and Skids when they were visiting her without DH's consent. Well we now have on our answering machine that no one is to tape our conversations. Legal or not we don't consent.
We have more ammo then what you think. I found the best way to deal with BM was to have my voice in every phone answering device we own. She hates calling here because she doesn't want to hear my voice. That would mean I exist. We don't respond to her demands. We dont' do a thing. A control freak like BM can't stand that. She needs to know her demands matter. They really don't.
You go girl. Don't take this womans harrassment. Dont cuss at her don't scream at her. It is the calm no nonsense voice that will totally piss her off.
"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"
We have let it get this bad
We have let it get this bad because in the begining she would yell "You can't keep me from my kiiiiiiiiiiids!" Not my fault if someone was playing in the backyard or in the tub or bed when she called.
The scream was always followed by "I'm calling my lawyer!" We are more than a little freaked out by that atatement becuase we were forced to pay for her atty. fees from the 1st and 2nd time we went to court. $50 per month fro 6 years and $100 per month for 10 months and that's in addition to $1,300 c/s per mo.
Thanks for all your great ideas. I'm off to face the world.
sounds like
Wow nothing worse than a pro BM judge. BM has cost DH and I nearly $30,000 in Attorneys fees for her BS. We won't deal with her anymore. We go through our Attorney for everything.
"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"
In general DH will only
In general DH will only respond to requests via email. He #1 wants proof and #2 she "floods" so he can't think to make a wise decsion with her forcing him.
Thank God for email! She has put some really stupid things in writing. Nothing we have had to use, yet.
BTW
PM me whenever you like. I will be more than happy to give you advice. But I warn you I am a bad influence LOL!!
"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"
I have answered DH's cell a time or two myself.
BM does this thing (just mentioned it on Bella's post) where if he doesn't answer and she really "needs" (or thinks so) to talk to him she will not leave a message but incessantly re-dial. Once, when DH was taking care of newborn Anna while I caught up on some stuff, the cell rang four different calls in a row. DH wasn't going to put Anna down to answer it b/c he knew it was BM. So as I was walking through the room mid fifth call/ringing, I put my hand out, DH placed his phone in it, and I answered with "HELLO?" She was at a total loss to have my presence in the world confirmed unexpectedly and stuttered and stammered asking for SD.
I wish she would have asked for DH so I could have said, "He's changing our baby right now, may I have him call you back"
Good for you that you answered the phone. Perhaps the calls will be directed solely at DH's cell if he has one from now on. But if BM starts harassing DH by phone on his cell, I STILL answer. It breaks the pattern.
Oh- and the funny thing is that BM was accused of phone harassment when DH worked/lived on post at West Point, by another couple officers wives. It was part of the reason he was asked to find a new assignment (way to go BM- cost your H his dream job teaching and assistant coaching at his Alma Matter- the marriage ended about a year later.)
Anyway...during the custody case, and every so often still, if DH calls once a day and leaves a message for either BM or SD if she's at BM's (which is the only time he would call once a day) BM accusing him of phone harassment.
SD also claimed to BM that DH was "stalking" SD when BM would have her on the weekend, yet arrange for her to stay with kids in our neighborhood (BIG blow up on that one.)
Wonder where SD gets the term "stalking" when talking about her own father?
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Stake out !!! too funny
I think you stake out idea is a great one!! Made me smile.
"This weekend ought to be fun. I'm just sitting here with the phone, computer and the remote. Pretty soon I'll be adding Rum and diet coke to my little stake out."
Cru - GREAT GREAT idea about forwarding all calls. Think I might have to try that one myself! Except BM usually calls DH when he is at work since she knows I won't be there....
Forward the Phones...
When she starts calling, and acting like a galloping dumba**....just temporarily forward your home phone to either her cell or home phone. She will get the point and stop calling!! I have done that when my sweet SD(7) starts that crap. I am in no mood to have my house turned upside down! I only forward our phone for about 10-15 min, it's a blessing
SD(7) lives with me and DH. BM has limited contact with her, so most of the time she is calling to start crap. I went through a nasty divorce with my parents, this is only little trick that i picked up from my dear dad 
GOOD LUCK, SOUNDS LIKE SHE HAS SOME SCREWS LOOSE!
galloping dumba** THAT'S
galloping dumba** THAT'S HYSTERICAL!
I love the forwarding idea! Just for a few minutes? She'll totally think she's lost it! I need to go figure out how to do that right now!
I am the Queen...
of recording phone calls. Only one person has to know it's being recorded in my state too. You can even do it with an old cassette player and hook up to phone, and press record just when needed. Lots of easier better ways now though.
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