Step Talk

I would take BD to the water park and tell everyone to meet at a certain time and then go enjoy yourselves. Don't wait on a sole. If DH wants his kids there then he can meet you guys up there at the right time. Let him worry about BM and making arrangements for his kids.

"GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE YOU EVIL TROLL. YOU HAVE NO POWERS HERE"

It's your daughter's birthday. Would she invite SK's if they were just kids in her class? Does she like them? If you and ex have taken her and a friend of her choice in the past then there is absolutely no reason to take SK's. I know money is tight for groceries but a cake mix where I live is $0.88 and powdered sugar is only $0.98 a box. Maybe you can have a cake at home with DH and his kids to include them.

Your parents are sweet. Don't make them for pay for the SK's unless they have a relationship with thier stepgrandchildren.

I am constantly in your situation. Most of our income goes to the skids for cs, visits and extra stuff that bm can't be bothered to buy. Even though her husband makes makes 3x's what dh does.

Everytime its my bd birthday I don't make it around their visits cause its about my daughter not them. And if dh has anything to say about it he can keep it to himself, cause we do stuff for his kids on their birthdays....and get this....not only are there two of them compared with my one bd, but their birthdays are two days before christmas and one week after!!!!

In all her infinite wisdom and lover of everything illogical bm makes the children go to the Jehovah Witness Hall and doesn't even buy them birthday presents or Christmas presents. We get stuck with the whole bill. Because of these things, I make bd birthday extra special. Only one time did I include them because they were whining about her parties not being on their weekends with us! Selfish eh, but kids are like that. And all that happened was a new bred jealously between skids and bd. They don't take into account that their birthdays are right at Christmas so their birthday presents are a bit less or they don't do as much, since everything is closed and its freezing outside.

I think your husband is being selfish and if he can't see the toll this taking on you, I would consider having a serious talk with him about whether or not he wants this relationship with you.

I told my dh that his cs is like a bill. It's the largest bill in the house, and its great his kids get this money spent on them, but in reality there is not even close to enough money in our house to spend even half of that on bd. He has to accept this and remember that if I had a bill as large as his cs that I would have to make sacrifices too.

Your dh has to get his head clear. Its not fair to expect every resource in the house to go to his kids. Its just not.

that you are going through this with your daughter. i am sad that she has to deal with this kind of stupidness on HER birthday. i completely support your idea and i think it's about TIME! if your DH is cranky about it, you should tell him to suck it up. b/c you've been sucking it up for a long time and so has your daughter.

i wish the world was a different place sometimes for families like yours (and mine). BMs like yours and mine are hurting other families and it's almost as if no one cares to do anything about it. i guess divorce is dirty eh?

well, i can sympathize more than i can say. our BD will now go without alot b/c her half-brother's mother cleaned out our bank account. her half-brother has a MUCH higher standard of living than her and probably always will. just do what you can and remember: at the end of the day, all your daughter will remember is that she is loved, and that her parents are together. that's what i keep telling myself anyway...

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

that you are going through this with your daughter. i am sad that she has to deal with this kind of stupidness on HER birthday. i completely support your idea and i think it's about TIME! if your DH is cranky about it, you should tell him to suck it up. b/c you've been sucking it up for a long time and so has your daughter.

i wish the world was a different place sometimes for families like yours (and mine). BMs like yours and mine are hurting other families and it's almost as if no one cares to do anything about it. i guess divorce is dirty eh?

well, i can sympathize more than i can say. our BD will now go without alot b/c her half-brother's mother cleaned out our bank account. her half-brother has a MUCH higher standard of living than her and probably always will. just do what you can and remember: at the end of the day, all your daughter will remember is that she is loved, and that her parents are together. that's what i keep telling myself anyway...

ps. is your daughter invited to the skids' b'day parties? hmmmmm

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

I would just go with your BD and your parents and leave the skids and your DH at home. Why let the skids rain on her parade? This is a special event and there is no reason she can't just have time with mom and her grandparents. I am thinking that sometimes your BD gets lost in the crowd with the skids.

With my own 3 kids, I try to do something with each one of them individually a couple times a year, at least, so they have my undivided attention and we can do stuff that they like to do without the concern that one of the siblings will not like this thing or that thing. Last summer I took my BD12 (11 at the time) to the Posion Cinderella concert when it came to town. I take my BD7 to the cheap theater to see movies her older siblings would not enjoy and I share music with my BS16 since hanging out with mom at this age is so not cool.

Enjoy the water park and remember its your BD's day and no one elses.

I totally believe in including skids as much as possible. Sometimes it's just not possible. I don't feel bad about it and neither does DH. They do lots of things that don't include us. You can't avoid it.

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ANNE 8102 | GEORGIA

for Grandparents, and extended families. I was in the same situation last year at this time, and I wanted to give my kids a nice birthday, they were born withen 3 weeks of eachother/3 years apart, and my summer visitation time falls on their b-days. Well, I will never forget going shopping for cake mix, for my daughters cake, and my SS says to me...."don't get chocolate...I don't like that kind"!!!! Well to bad...it happens to be my daughters favorite. I could not even believe he said that. Of course SS&SD were used to getting what they want, a wonderful BM trait I just told him that it was her day, so it's gonna be her way!!! My kids now are coming up here next week for my time with them......and I'm really looking forward to doing their b-days w/o interfearence, and some more $$ in my pocket this year.."~waiting on the world to change~"

It's your daughter's Grandparents who are making this very generous offer for HER birthday, so you should not feel bad about it!

It's not like they're saying, "we're not including HIS children at all!" They are indeed including them- they're just not going to put everyone else's schedules above their granddaughter's on her special day- it's the perfect compromise, and if your DH can't see that, too bad for him.

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

main job (in my opinion)as biomoms is to "protect" our children. #1 priority--------over ANYTHING AND ANYONE ELSE. Do what you need to do, your dh is doing that with his kids isn't he?

DH never got back to me about if they were all coming, so I called him and said we were making plans without them and he said he just wouldn't go because he wasn't going to do something big like a water park without his kids. I said its not about taking the whole family for family trip it is about my BD and her birthday and she wants to talk friends from school and we can't afford everyone. He refuses to go without his kids. I know I should say fine, but it breaks my heart.

As Their Christmas Present from Her Dad and SM, with Her Bros and Their kids. We weren't sure if I was Included in the invite, and She felt weird asking for clarification. I stayed home and had the Day to Myself, sat around in My skivvies, had a few drinks, and watched Guy Movies, etc. all day long. Dad and SM asked where I was, and She told them We weren't sure so I stayed Home, to avoid any awkwardness.(We were fighting and I was back and forth between Home and Mommy Dearest's, at the time)

If He doesn't want to go TDB for Him, it Her Day, and if He doesn't want to go because the Skids can't Oh Well! I would have gone w/o Ryan, if He wasn't Here with Me, that Day, or said I'd pay for Him, if it was an issue, if I had the Extra Cash...

Kids Will Do Stuff with the Other Parents, and not expect that Their "Other Parent Siblings" should be automatically invited, They Understand that They have Two Different Families that do Seperate Things, a lot of the Time.

Steve
Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL