frustrated-mom's picture

Spanking now illegal in Delaware

There had been some discussion on ST about SPs spanking a while back. But if you’re in Delaware, make sure you don’t touch the skids. Spanking can landing you in jail for a year.

http://www.thenewamerican.com/culture/family/item/13005-delaware-law-ban...

I can’t believe these politicians trying to tell parents how to discipline their kids. These brats that are being raised by permissive parents to believe they are the center of the world need their butts beaten.

Former SD liked to use the “I’m going to report you to Child Protective Services” when she wasn’t getting what she wanted. She had an absolute vindictive joy in saying that. She wanted to see us arrested. (Her BM and BM’s boyfriend had been arrested for child abuse and child endangerment and rather than being concerned about losing another parent or how terrible it was the time she spent in foster care, she used CPS as a threat to control her dad).

Former SD doesn't believe anyone has any right to tell her what she could or couldn't do. I know exactly what my father would have done if I said said what former-SD said to my parents when I was growing up. Trust me, my father would have fixed that attitude in 10 seconds with one good spanking.

Now how much power are these little brats going to have if more states criminalize corporal punishment and any sort of punishment that causes pain? In child custody cases, saying one parent spanks isn’t just a different form a discipline, it’s a criminal act? This is going to unleash a can of worms.


StickAFork's picture

Well, if the gov't shouldn't

Well, if the gov't shouldn't dictate "how" parents discipline their kids (as in, NO spanking) perhaps beating the living shit out of them shouldn't be illegal, either. I mean, AFTER ALL, a few good smacks should bring a kid into submission, dontcha think?

Again... a GOOD parent can discipline and teach their child WITHOUT physical abuse.

Stick a fork in me... I'm done...

reallifedrama's picture

Having to hit a child means

Having to hit a child means you have no other arsenal of knowledge to deal with whatever issue that need dealing with. I don't know why you would be researching whether or not you can spank a child. How about a brochure about how to discipline a child without hitting them.

amber3902's picture

I think there is a difference

I think there is a difference between spanking a child and beating a kid half to death.

Also, the ONLY ones that should be touching kids for any kind of corporal punishment are their PARENTS, not the STEP PARENTS.

"Parents who make their children the center of their universe will raise children who expect the world to revolve around them"

Rags's picture

Gotta love it when the idiots

Gotta love it when the idiots in Gov't get uppity beyond their IQ.

So, when your kid is getting ready to stick a butter knife in the wall socket now you can't pop him on the rump and yell NO! too loudly because it is illegal to cause pain. His butt can't sting and his little earies can't hurt from a loud noise.

Or .... when your kid is about to step off of the curb in front of oncoming traffic you can't forcefully grab their arm and pull them back because if it causes them any pain you are going to prison.

So, do you save your kid and go to prison or watch as your kid becomes someone's hood ornament? This is what happens when the idiots in government start interfering with people's lives.

I hate stupid people and the DE legislature is full of them. Not surprising though, this is the state that gave us Bidden. Good thing I left DE and moved back to Texas in 2010.

Corporal punishment is not abuse. A swat to the rump is no abuse. A paddle to the ass in school is not abuse. I think it is time to start expelling incorrigible kids from school and bus them to the DE state capital for these geniouses to deal with. I think parents dealing with kids at home where time out does not work should dump their kids on the idiots in the legislature.

As for researching spanking laws .... here is a comprehensive resource for the spanking laws in all states. This may not yet have the new DE law.

http://kidjacked.com/legal/spanking_law.asp

Here is the previouse DE law. Delaware
[Online Delaware Code]

Force is justifiable if reasonable and moderate and by parent/guardian/foster parent/legal custodian/other similar person responsible for care and supervision. Force must be: -- For purpose of safeguarding or promoting welfare of child, including prevention or punishment of misconduct, and -- Intended to benefit child. Reasonable and moderate is determined in light of: size, age, and condition of child, location, strength, and duration of force. Force is not justified if it consists of: -- Throwing child, kicking, burning, cutting, striking with a closed fist, interfering with breathing, use of or threatened use of deadly weapon, prolonged deprivation of sustenance or medication, any act likely to cause or causing physical injury, disfigurement, mental distress, unnecessary degradation or substantial risk of serious physical injury or death. Criminal § 468. [Criminal Code]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I was still parenting in DE I would throw a kid in need of a warm, stinging, cherry red ass in the car and drive about 15 mins to either PA, MD or VA and blister me some kid butt on the side of the road then strap the little shit back in the car seat/seat belt and haul there stinging butt back home and laugh in the idiot DE CPS officers face when they said an F-in thing about it.

I may investigate buying property just over the DE state lines in all bordering states, in all bordering states spanking is legal, and opening corporal punishment parlors so DE parents can parent effectively and laugh at their idiot legislature and CPS. How does "Delaware Effective Parenting Centers" sound for a business name?

Grrrrrr!!!!! I HATE IDIOTS!!!!

All IMHO of course.

A parent is an example, mentor, confidante, advocate and disciplinarian. Not a buddy.-Rags

If you can't listen and learn then you will have to feel.-WLR

If you want to be a piece of my life then use your head or STFU and do what you are told.-Rags

reallifedrama's picture

Alternatives to

Alternatives to spanking:

"Although the words punishment and discipline are often used as if they mean the same things, punishment and discipline are very different. Punishment is defined as arbitrary harsh treatment for wrong doing. Discipline means to teach."

http://www.connectionparenting.com/parenting_articles/spanking.html

It Wouldn't Hurt To Try:

When a small child is about to touch something dangerous or breakable, catch their hand, name the danger emphatically (Hot!) then show them what they can touch instead.

When a child is about to do something dangerous like going into the road or climbing on a bookcase, gather them into your arms, tell them "Danger!" and explain to them why their behavior frightens you. The word danger is more effective than just saying no.

When you have told a child to stop doing something 10 times and now you are angry, you've been talking too much and teaching them they can do something 10 times before you will stop them. Speak once and then go over and tell them what they can do instead. Telling children what we don't want them to do doesn't teach them what we do want them to do.

Children need to be taught how to behave in stores, restaurants, etc. We can teach them at home by "playing" store or restaurant.

Children need lots of attention. When we give enough positive attention, children don't become so starved for attention that they resort to any behavior that will get our attention.

When a child is having a temper tantrum, they are pouring out built up hurts, disappointments and frustrations. All we need to do is prevent them from hurting themselves or anyone else and just let them pour out their feelings. As soon as the feelings are emptied out their behavior will improve.

When you get too stressed and feel yourself about to hit, announce loudly, "I'm feeling angry, I need this behavior to stop and I need a hug."

For older children make up a family code word or gesture that you can use in public that let's them know that you want them to stop what they are doing.
Parents, who didn't have models of nonphysical discipline, can take a parenting class to learn effective parenting skills.

Since children who are "acting out" are usually trying to tell us, "I need more love,"..."When you see red - hug me instead."

Ending all forms of violence against children will be the beginning of the end of domestic violence. However we treat the child, the child will treat the world.

Resources:

frustrated-mom's picture

Some kids need a good

Some kids need a good spanking. It’s the only way to get through to them and assert your parent authority.

How many times have SPs posted on here that they their skids don’t give a darn if their cell phone or electronics are taken away or if they are taken away, the other bioparent gives them back or the skid finds a way around it. Corporal punishment works in stepfamilies because it immediately gets the point across and shows the skid who’s in control.

With my former SD, she was hellbent on not doing a thing that her father or I said. None of the alternatives to spanking worked at all. What she needed was her father to tan her butt every time she put a toe out of line because she enjoyed mocking the fact she wouldn’t do anything he said.

Any time we set up lists of things that she needed to do to get something she wanted or have privileges resorted, she absolutely refused to do it.

For instance, when former SD was 15 she was failing all of her classes intentionally. Her dad spent 4-5 hours one evening making her do her geometry homework, which she was perfectly capable for doing. The next day her teacher emailed him and said the homework had not been turned in. He confronted SD and with a smile ear to ear, she told him she had thrown the homework away and not turned it in.

She was already grounded until she had all passing grades, her cell phone was taken away (we didn’t know she had a secret one), she had no access to the computer or electronics. If we would have stripped her room, but she was sleeping on the sofa in the living room so that was a little difficult.

The only way she could earn anything back was turning in the homework and she was absolutely giddy about defying her dad and throwing it away.

x-H needed to have spanked the living hell out of her but he never would have because she previously had been abused. But she walked all over him, continues to walk all over him and was the root cause of our marriage ending.

StarStuff's picture

I think it's total BS for

I think it's total BS for politicians to dictate how parents can discipline their children. Sometimes a kid just needs a spanking when explaining and trying other ways to get it through their thick skulls doesn't work. Spanking is different from beating your kids. I was spanked a few times as a kid and I turned out just fine - didn't feel I was being abused either. I absolutely cannot stand those holier-than-thou types that want to tell you how to discipline your own kids. F*ck off. I don't tell you how to handle your kids so you have no business telling me how to handle mine.

Those who dream by day are cognizant of more than those who dream only by night. ~Edgar Allan Poe

stepdown's picture

"I was whooped a lot. I would

"I was whooped a lot. I would not be the same person if they hadn't."

Perhaps some of your current issues come from negativity you experienced as a child. You married a neglectful dead beat father (it is a very bad life choice right there among all other), and you often lack common sense. The fact that you were whooped a lot possibly effects your life choices negatively.

My DD25 was never whopped but she would never marry a dead beat, she would not commit fraud they way you did obtaining free legal aid dishonestly, and she'd never hit children, hers or other people's.

So being whooped A LOT as a child is a bad thing, sweetie.

I dodged the bullet escaping two stephe$$s in a short period of time!

StickAFork's picture

I couldn't agree more. I

I couldn't agree more.

I can't believe that someone can espouse what one does, and then credit their upbringing to being whooped a lot. Unbelievable. Is that supposed to convince us that it's a GOOD THING?!?

Stick a fork in me... I'm done...

stepdown's picture

she should be a poster child

she should be a poster child for sad consequences of frequently "whooping" one's children

I dodged the bullet escaping two stephe$$s in a short period of time!

Luna1234567's picture

I think my stepson six could

I think my stepson six could use a spanking but then we'd probably end up in jail.
I was talking to my hubby today and out of nowhere the kid says "stop talking! You're crazy!".....then his dad said to him "It's not nice to call people crazy"
His reply was "If she calls me crazy, I'll call the cops. The phone number is very easy."

Yeah...kids these days. Anyway...I don't know what the laws are here in Quebec but I would never touch him anyway because I'm sure his crazy mom would take me to court. plus I don't consider him to be my child so it's not my business to discipline.