Yes
24% (106 votes)
No
53% (239 votes)
Only if the bio parent was deceased
23% (104 votes)
Total votes: 449
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There are currently 12 users and 67 guests online.
In your experience as a stepparent, which is easier to deal with?:
Toddlers
34%
Teenagers
4%
There is no good age
62%
Total votes: 297
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Yes
I voted yes. I am not sure I will still feel that way in a few years. It just seems like BM isn't interested in giving them much of her time, attention and affection. No, she doesn't completely neglect them or physically abuse them, but she isn't really "present", and I think that can be just as harmful. She disagrees w/ DH just to be disagreeable and the kids keep getting stuck in the middle. He and I are at least on the same page and could provide a consistent, loving, intelligent home environment.
only if she is deceased
After last years custody battle....it's the only way it would work for me!"~waiting on the world to change~"
" A first marriage is like buying your first home, sometimes you just gotta start small"~ Me.
Yes - I have
The judge signed the Order in May for me to adopt my stepson.
My husband adopted my son and is in the process of adopting my daughter.
My son's Bio-mom is a deadbeat - never paid support. He's almost 12.
My son's biofather never paid a dime - never seen him - has 4 other kids the same age - same situation
my daughter's biofather consistently pays support but hasn't contact her since she was 9 - and he lives a mile from us - he actually runs the other direction as does his mom if they see us out.
adopting step daughter
I also have almost the same situation. She does pay child support but only when she wants. I believe since I already take care of the child why should there be a problem? The BM lives like maybe 7 min away and she never sees the kid (which is 13) I wanted to know how did you go about the process?
So
many variables; age (yours, your husband, the kids), biokids?? finances, retirement, ......
This decision will impact you for the rest of your life and the lives of your biokids. For me, I have my own kids & I owe it to them not to entangle myself with problems. I would like to be a stress free grandmother for my biokids children.
Yes.
Only if BM either made the decision to not be an active mother or if the powers that be decided that fate for her...
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
Only if BM were deceased
And I say that because, despite her faults, I know she's doing the best job she knows how to do raising those kids and I'd never take that away from her or them. But if she were to kick the bucket, you'd better bet I'd adopt them in a heartbeat.
________________________________________________________________
ANNE 8102 | GEORGIA
"Despite her faults, I know
"Despite her faults, I know . . . "
WOW - that's one of the 1st times I believe I've ever heard that on this site from anybody about BM. My hat off to you for acknowledging that.
BTW - BM doing the best she can - you are very lucky!
yES
I WOULD IN A HEARTBEAT!!
only if BM were deceased
a few years ago, no way now!!!!!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
HAHAHA....
You are sooo right! I have been saying this for quite a while. Cinderella, Snow White, Parent Trap...just to name a few. They make us look like stepheifers. I think we should contact Disney and tell them to catch up with times and to help portray us as good, loving, caring, women that are great wives and not creepy, evil and wanting to kill our kids! Geez!
No
They have both of their parents and I am content being am in-law.
Georgie
I would
I wish so bad we could have raised SD, even from age 8 when I met her . . I know she would have done a lot better in school, at minimum! It makes me sad to think how great that would have been, instead of what actually happened.
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.
~ Jim Valvano
only because
you would actually have some sort of power then
life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )
No
No no and heck no!
They are two out of control brats and if I ever got divorced I would have to pay child support for them!
Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns
~Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns~
No
I'm not ready. BF and I have only been together for 10 months. I love the girls and maybe one day if things are good yes. But we are all still getting to know each other.
No
I'm not ready. BF and I have only been together for 10 months. I love the girls and maybe one day if things are good yes. But we are all still getting to know each other.
send me the papers I will
send me the papers I will sign!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is no reason where logic does not exist
There is no reason where logic does not exist
Let me think carefully before saying . . .
not only No, but Hell No.
I remain, the world's most evil stepmom; ask anyone.
I remain, the world's most evil stepmom; ask anyone.
Hell No I wouldn't either
I don't think that you are the most evil stepmom - It's probably me. I can't stand my stepdaughter and she is the queen of the BRATS! Very unappreciative and glares at me when she asks her daddy for something and never listens to me. She constantly tries to beat me to my husband and is a jealous little brat! Is this normal? The bad thing is I am pregnant with my first child and I want it to be a special time and I definitely do NOT want my child to act anything like her!!!!!!! What do you think? Me and my husband fight all the time about her coming to the house and how she acts.
I feel the same way!I'm
I feel the same way!
I'm worried about me and my husband having a child because I don't want it to be anything like my stepson. My stepson has no interests except junk food and video games. He barely speaks and when he does you have no idea what he's saying. I wonder if his mother speaks to him at all. He also is very disrespectful to me when my husband is not around.
If/when we have a child, I want it to be about us. I don't want to sacrifice every other weekend to another child. I want this to be the most special time in our lives, not a time of stress and anger.
Uummm... NO!
No no and hell no!
Those kids have made my life hell. They are also killing my marriage and DH is letting them.
Heck no if I adopted them then got a divorce I would have to pay him CS! I don't think so!! Plus if anything ever happened to him they would be mine! ummm... no no no no no...
I would rather drive nails in my foot then jerk them out slowly and soak the foot in alcohol!
~Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns~
~Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns~
Yes
The poor child needs stability, a healthy environment and proper care. If they would allow for us to provide that for him, I would sign the papers in a heartbeat.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Considering I am only 22 and
Considering I am only 22 and a SP, I think this question may or could have a different answer a few years down the road. I may say no right now, but I would probably change my answer to "only if the bio bm was deceased" down the road.
Life is a bunch of honey
Yes
If BM ever walked out of SD's life completely, I would. BM isn't likely to, or to sign off rights even if she did. We only have about 5 more years in this anyway, then it will not matter anymore. I am really interested to see what SD will do when she no longer "has" to see her mom, or us for that matter.
It would be best for SD if BM walked away. The therapist has said it herself.
But BM likely won't. So we'll just keep doing this crazy dance until 2013.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Well,I would but only the
Well,I would but only the one SK that I have here living with us!
he is awsume, The other Sk prolly wish I would fall off the face of the earth and die
" Life is like a jar or Jalapeno peppers, what you
do today could burn your a*s tomorrow."
I saved a life today...ask me how HAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!

No no no.
No no no. God no.
If I had a time machine, I would go back to the fork in the road and run like hell in the other direction.
Me, too
If I could go back I would. My SD is severely disabled (severe Rhett's - her brain is age 2 or so). My husband told me SD's life expectancy was 12, so I needed to shut up about my worries (there is no plan for her future if BM dies). Well, she's now 22 and Missouri makes a person pay lifetime child support for a disabled child (new law that was passed two years ago). BM is remarried and has 4 other kids and calls SD her little baby. She lets her do anything she wants. All SD does is watch tv all day. BM doesn't make her use words. She doesn't teach her any manners. SD is like an animal at no fault of her own. You can't take her anywhere because she has full blown embarrassing tantrums. BM tells my husband that SD is none of his business. She gets full SSI for her since age 18 and food stamps. Husband tells me that SD is none of MY business and I need to get over it. What am I so upset about? he says. He buys SD whatever the BM says she needs - last time it was a laptop. She doesn't know how to use a laptop. If I could foresee this life long baggage, I would have known that I could not handle it. I would get out, but we have two kids and now my child support would be reduced by the lifetime child support that he has to pay. Talk about a nightmare.
Never, not in a million
Never, not in a million years. Not even if I was paid to do it, or their awful bm dropped dead.
"Dispute not with her, she is a lunatic."
I love her a lot but the
I love her a lot but the answer is no. I'm coming onto the scene fairly late (she was 11 when I met her, now 14) in the game, and while she's a great kid now and I'm happy to support her, care for her and love her, she has a mom, and even if she didn't she's close enough in age to being legally on her own where there would be no pros to it, and only cons for me legally....
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein