DH responded to GUBM's request for half payment on new glasses for SD14 by saying that since she had gotten new glasses in March but had been irresponsible in breaking them so quickly, he was not going to pay. He quoted the CO that "reasonable' medical expenses were to be split and he didn't find it reasonable to be getting hit up again six months later when even the insurance only covers one pair per year -- so if the insurance company thinks they should last a year, that's good enough for him.
GUBM responded by saying that him having to pay for another pair so soon not only is reasonable, it is NECESSARY. And why? Because what SD had been wearing (the broken ones, see prior post) were from 2011 -- the new ones from March -- are lost. So it was NECESSARY for her to get new ones before school started. And thus he is RESPONSIBLE for the expense.
Agreed that new glasses would be necessary for the child in that case, but still not REASONABLE, and no, he's not responsible for the expense. It would be reasonable and RESPONSIBLE parenting to make the kid pay for them herself. This is not the first pair of glasses she's lost. And she has no incentive not to lose them until it hurts her to lose them.
Therapist visit today? The therapist told us the question to always be asking ourselves is: "Whose problem is this?" And then to fill in the blank. And it can't always be our own names. I would most definitely say this is SD14's problem. You lost your glasses, you need new ones, fine, but you are paying for them. Let's go to the bank and we will withdraw the money out of your bank account. Oh, no money left in your bank account and you don't want to do odd jobs for your grandparents because "you don't like that kind of work"? Guess you'll need to work with your mother to figure out then how you're going to earn the money. But the name in the line of "Whose problem is this?" is NOT DH's.
It seems that if the insurance company believes that one pair of glasses per year is reasonable (and DH ended up paying back in March, which means GUBM went above the insurance allotment and he "can't remember" -- can't even give me a ballpark figure as to how much he paid -- apparently Mr. Made of Money didn't care to argue the point back then of keeping the cost within what the insurance will pay) then expecting DH to pay for a second pair because the new pair were lost -- get this -- she lost them in JUNE -- so she had them for all of THREE months before she lost them -- is completely beyond the pale of reason.
And then as part of the "this is why you have to pay for half the glasses even though you just bought her a pair six months ago email" he got the sob story from GUBM of how much she had to spend to get SD18 ready for college and SD14 ready for school -- oh boo hoo, cry me a river. That's what freaking child support is for, bitch. You got $850 in the month of August -- seems like that should be plenty of money to buy back to school whatever the f they need. Especially given they never show up here with anything that looks even remotely new. Except for the damn glasses.
I'm not feeling very sympathetic today. Is it obvious?
I'm starting a pool on what month this pair disappears in. I'm going with November.


If I were DH I'd offer to pay
If I were DH I'd offer to pay for new glasses...after all, she needs them to see, right?
Only thing is, I would get her the cheapest, worst looking glasses...the big plastic ones with the big plastic frames. Hey, the CO doesn't say he has to get the nice glasses.
GUBM already bought the
GUBM already bought the glasses -- without following the CO that states they are to make decisions together. She apparently thinks that part means she makes the decisions and he follows along like a sheep.
That's how it was in their marriage -- his sisters comment on it frequently. At any rate, this is so not the first time she's just gone out and made a major purchase and expected him to just pay for it without so much as a peep. I expect that eventually he will cave on this, because to not cave would be to disrupt the entire flow of their relationship and how it's always been.
He's going to get uncomfortable enough and she's going to get nasty enough that he will just pay to shut her up. And then I will inform him that he can take a photo of the glasses and present it to SD on Christmas morning with a note that states "Merry Christmas." Or maybe he should just tell her in advance and then we don't have to worry about her wanting to spend her 30 minutes here getting her loot before jetting back to GUBM's.